self-censorship? Physiological women caught in the dilemma of the patriarchal gaze

X, who is studying in the Department of Psychological Counseling, thinks that women often ask for "victim imagery", "Why do you think he is watching?" "Are you so sure that the other party has intentions for you?" X felt unacceptable, like a woman Certain conditions must be met to be attractive.

Speaking of the experience of sexual harassment, I once went to take a class in the Chinese Department and found that a male classmate was staring straight at X. One class, two classes, and after a week, the boy walked to the seat near X and asked. She: Can I sit next to you? This experience made X very uncomfortable, and even affected him to go out early one morning to prepare for class. He had to think about whether the clothes he chose were too revealing, but the choice of clothes should not be personal Will it? Why should I choose to wrap myself up out of fear or nausea?

Speaking of this, when it comes to the trauma gap often mentioned in psychology, when it comes to sexual harassment, X thinks that this may not be in line with past life experience, resulting in not knowing how to react at the moment, that is, scared stupid, not what most people think "Why didn't you resist in the first place?" "You can stop him severely", but as a victim, it is not just loudly saying no, but the attack brought about by the entire inequality of power.

Putting on makeup and choosing beautiful clothes, people will gossip and say, "Are you going out on a date?" This is a very strange thing for both men and women. It seems that gender sensitivity is a rare trait, and X is more It is safe to say that people with low gender sensitivity are not going to be my friends.

I feel that the major of the Department of Psychology has cultivated the skills of "empty 読める". In the classroom, I have talked about the influence of A-movies and the legitimacy of dating, and what motives are there for shooting sex films, etc., and gradually cultivated An observer's character.

I admit that I am pansexual and prefer biological women. In high school, I took the initiative to confess to a schoolgirl I liked very much. Later, I became a good friend. It was not until I went to college that I began to have a different understanding of sexual orientation. The original gender The spectrum is so detailed that it seems to have found a place to belong.

Maybe it's because of the psychology department or personality, the biological male friends around me don't think X is a biological female, and even a male friend in high school would share it with her. One day, I was very excited to see the bottom of the school sister's skirt disappearing, so last night When I get up and do a pistol, I will only feel down today. For X, it seems that the gender issue has always been an observer; when it comes to making friends, X likes to use mobile phone dating software to chat with people, and often encounters the other party sending dick photos, And X wasn't panicked at all, and even judged the situation, praising the other party's phallus for being tall, straight and good-looking.

When it comes to family, X does not advocate marriage, and lives in a family with a deep political leaning. As long as he goes to any parade or protest, his family will say "you must have been brainwashed by the DPP", which makes X now reluctant. When he came out with his family, if his family asked about his partner, X, who had been single for a long time, even gave up communication. He only thought about how to be independent from home. X, who was still in college, said that until he was unable to become financially independent, he could only endure these thoughts. Can't talk about everything.

All kinds of repression and gender incomprehension in a traditional family, and even the biological males around are surprisingly low-gender sensitive. When X has been involved in issue activities for a long time, he will only say "Oh, I support homosexuality, as long as I am not good" X He said with a smile, it seems that biologically heterosexual men have a sense of disgust of "fear of being fucked", as if they do not meet their expectations of their sexual orientation, they should be scolded. X reluctantly said, maybe we can form an alliance of disgusting men?