Interview with the "pig" in "The Days That Couldn't Make Love"

During the most painful time of quarantine, I couldn't get an erection. This makes me feel more and more like a pig in a pigpen...

The opportunity for the interview was when the reader knocked on the bowl and interviewed the author of "The Days That Couldn't Make Love" @DreamOver. After the other party readily agreed, he replied to my first interview (the first part ) almost in seconds. Lockdown with nothing to do at home?

People answered cheerfully, but I was not too happy (I have editorial disease), so I conspired with a few readers, embarrassing him with some questions, and reminded them that they can answer falsely or refuse to answer when it comes to privacy. Unexpectedly, he is still serious (Straight) Reply ( Part II).

Finally, I personally selected 10 golden sentences (paragraphs) to review this article (the third part) that resonated with the public. The reason why I feel the same way is because the article is asking about the source of the absurdity, why we have become pigs greedy for feed and regularly reporting test results.

No, people are not pigs after all, and people are more fortunate (or unfortunate) than pigs: people lose their libido, in some kind of absurd situation. (Maybe the same is true for pigs)

During the most painful time of quarantine, I couldn't get an erection. This makes me feel more and more like a pig in a pigpen. I eat feed every day, check whether the quarantine is qualified, and I can't do anything else. Originally, the difference between me and the pig was that I wasn't castrated. Now that I can't get an erection, it's no different from being stabbed. The pig was fanned to taste better; the meat was marinated to taste better. Therefore, the era of man-eating people in Lu Xun's writings is over. Now is the era of man-eating pigs. It's just that people are turned into pigs first, and conscience is less painful. It can be seen that the times are still progressing.

Your Matters homepage states that you are a photographer, but your words are very penetrating and have a unique sense of humor. Where are your articles mainly published? Or only at Matters?

My main work is photography and film related work, including the production and post-production of short films and documentaries. Writing articles is just my self-organization and expressing some emotions. You see, I have not written a few articles.

Before, I mainly posted things on Douban and WeChat public accounts. After I post them, I will go to Matters to back them up. After all, in the domestic environment, I don’t know when the articles will disappear.

This time, "The Days When You Can't Make Love" is more tortuous, because no matter on Douban or the public account, it was harmonious within an hour after it was sent out. After that, I tried several platforms, but it didn't last for half a day. In the end, it was only by sending the PDF on the network disk that it could barely be seen by others. Going to Matters to post after this kind of despair is like getting a lot of comfort, everything is smooth and natural, and the expression should be so natural.

This article is very long. In fact, it should be read together with the other two articles. Do you think your resentment is finished? Is there a day for the next one?

The resentment has been vented, or it may not be over, because I still have to live in such an environment.

Writing articles is mainly about sorting out and recording your own thoughts. Through various channels, including the articles of many authors on Matters, everyone should have learned about the inhuman treatment that the people of Shanghai received during this period. In this long-term depression, I can only rely on constant thinking to resist the erosion of powerlessness. When you know what they want to do, why they're doing it, and what they're afraid of, even if you can't change it, it's not that scary. Never look away is what the aunt of the male protagonist warned him before he was taken away in the movie "No Master's Work" . I think it is very useful. No matter what happens, don't look away and look directly at what they're doing. And constantly thinking, provides this courage to look directly at them.

As for the humor, it's trying to neutralize the cruelty and fear that's very direct. I learned this from Wang Xiaobo. I like Xiaobo very much. I think he provides a perspective on suffering and how to achieve self-resistance and realization in suffering. This kind of resistance is different from the resistance that takes up arms and rises up. To be precise, it is a resistance to inhumanity, and it is to allow oneself to maintain the survival and spiritual space that human beings should have in the midst of suffering. This kind of existence itself is a kind of resistance . It's probably something that's more usable these days.

The next article may be the day to lose weight , hahaha, I'm not sure, after all, I'm not a full-time writer, or I rely on the accumulation of life insights, and someday I will send out any strange things.

This article has been on the trend for more than a week and has attracted a lot of attention. Is this what you expected? Did your girlfriend have any response to this (the days of not being able to have sex)?

The attention was unexpected, and at first it was just for backup.

You know that after reading the article, I am somewhat schizophrenic, so every time I receive a like, I wonder, is this long, dying article really written by me?

I would like to thank everyone at Matters for making me feel that words can still spread powerfully.

I don't have a girlfriend yet. In reality, I'm a bit of a dull person, and I don't know much about topics. My expectation was that some female friends would come to ask me about sex after reading the article I wrote. Talking about the topic of sex is easy to miss what happens. It's about to be unblocked now, and I don't know if these things will happen.

Regarding Wang Xiaobo, can you talk a little more about his influence on you? For example, which book or article has influenced you.

The biggest impact is that I have always placed the pursuit of wisdom in a very important position, so that my personal will will not be consumed by this era of information explosion.

Wang Xiaobo's works are very beautiful, I think they can be read as little yellow books without any burden. After reading it, you will understand a lot of things. When I was young, I liked "The Age of Bronze" very much, and I was impressed by the wild imagination. Later, I liked "The Golden Age" and felt that life should be so fierce.

I especially like "Silver Age" now, because I start to really think about the relationship between people and society. Favorite chapter is a medium "2010", you will understand after reading it. One of the ideals in life is to make "2010" a movie.

You mentioned the 2018 German film "Blessed Works". What other parts impressed you or influenced you?

"No Master" is a film I personally highly recommend, about the transformation of an artist from East Germany to West Germany in all aspects as a young man. In addition to the never look away, there is also the part where the male protagonist finally finds his artistic expression, the teacher who rubbed butter on his head's understanding of art.

Readers are particularly curious about the origins of your ideas. Apart from Wang Xiaobo, are there any writers, artists or philosophers of particular interest?

In fact, the writers I have seriously pursued are Han Han and Wang Xiaobo , and they were both young. Others are thinking about what to see. I think everyone who has made achievements in literature, art, philosophy and images can bring a lot of gains. I know a little bit about everything, and if I'm interested, I can go deeper and learn more. For example, when I wrote this article, I went to understand Foucault 's works in depth.

The most important source of thought is to think about life. What you have read, heard and read is actually not that important. If you are too obsessed with what book you read, it will weaken your keen perception of life.

You are engaged in documentary production, would you consider shooting documentaries to express your views through images?

definitely will. It’s just that photographing things is not like writing articles. You can write with paper, pen and mobile phone. It costs money to shoot things, a lot of money, and if you don’t release them after you shoot them in China, you waste too many things in vain. Will definitely shoot when the time is right.

Can you please recommend three documentaries or movies about "thinking about life problems"?

"Borderlands", "Summer Palace", "Talent Outside the Gallery"

A citizen " @naked child" asked the following questions:

Q: In the article, you mentioned that "pretending to have an orgasm is no longer a prerogative of girls", and in the following text, you use the social collective (fake) orgasm as a contrast, which is actually a good comparison; but as a heterosexual female reader, I was actually a little uncomfortable when I saw this sentence.

The use of the word "privilege" seems to imply that women can benefit from faking an orgasm, but is this the case? Guessing that the author should be a heterosexual man, do you think that when you write this article from the perspective of a heterosexual man, do you (subconsciously) also stand on the side of power?

Take easy. This sentence is simply a satire on the fake orgasm. It is a mockery of the men who caused this situation, rather than emphasizing that women benefit from fake orgasms. After a lot of men, they ask the girls if they were happy just now, "Don't you know if you are happy or not, is the thing in my body just not yours but someone else's?". The absurdity of faking an orgasm is that men are too vulnerable to rely on these "feedbacks" for confidence. Think carefully about why the male-dominated society always makes it difficult for women and suppresses women, is it because they are strong? No, it's because they are too weak, their abilities, psychology, and knowledge are completely unworthy of the power they have. In this case, what should be done to maintain their existing power and interests, which is the same as the problem of the neighborhood committee and the owners in the article - by dwarfing women, setting limits for women everywhere, establishing a moral cage, making them Forget that you could have been stronger and have more.

If you look closely at life, you will find that those who are truly powerful are approachable because they are fearless. And those who always want to establish a strong position, in fact, because he can't.

It is written in the article that my rejection of sex is actually out of rejection of power. So obviously I'm on the other side of the power.

Q: Why does the title of the article want to read "Days when I can't have sex"? Is there any consideration for attracting people to come in? Or, is this related to the sentence "Everything in life is about sex, except sex. Sex is about power." that you quoted in the comment section? What is your interpretation of this sentence?

At first, this article was posted on my Moments and Douban, and I just wanted to read it to my familiar friends and be satisfied. I put Matters for backup. The two articles I posted two years ago were actually not read by many people, and I didn’t care much about the number of page views. It’s just that what happened later was different from what I thought.

Why this title. First of all, I have difficulty in naming names. I used to use xxx when writing articles before, so I continued to use it. As for making love, I think since the article expresses the concept of not taking sex as a shame, there should be a consistent attitude and the title should be generous. As for how others understand it, gain attention, earn traffic, or complain, I don't care. I don't care what my friends, relatives and colleagues think of me when I post it on the Moments, let alone netizens.

What's more, this is something written by a person who was locked up at home for two months. I can't buy food, I can't eat enough, and whether I can live or not are all problems. Do you still care what others think of me? Two years ago, another whistleblower, Ai Fen, said, "If I knew there was today, I would go everywhere to talk about it." This is how I write this.

Everything in life is about sex, except sex. Sex is about power. This sentence comes from "House of Cards" , and the source should be said by Foucault. My understanding is that sex itself is a power, primordial innate, independent of the world. Many people say that sex is used to rebel against power, and this understanding is somewhat superficial. I don't think sex is at all about rebelling against the power of the world, it's something that exists as long as a person is alive. But because of this, it is destined to be suppressed by the power of modern civilization. I think this relationship can be explained by a Greek myth, the story of Oedipus. You can think of the power represented by sex itself as the father, the human will as the mother, and when they combine, they give birth to Oedipus, the power of human society, that is, the power of human society is an imitation of sex , that is, to dominate and to be dominated. Then what did Oedipus do, kill his father and marry his mother. Therefore, what the power of human society has always wanted to do is to replace the father (sex) and gain control over the mother (human will). Personal random understanding, don't worry about who is the father and who is the mother, just an example...

Q: Your introduction on the homepage is "Irregular Photographer", why is it not serious? Could you tell us about your photography work?

(Is this your work?)

https://www.pinterest.com/fengq1010/

Irrelevant actually means half-hearted, that is, I am indeed a photographer, but I didn't shoot very well. And I often do other things, such as writing scripts, editing, post-production, drawing sub-shots, and doing special effects... It's very unethical.

This is not my work, just some references I found when I was doing design in an advertising company a long time ago. It can be seen from individual boards that I am really interested in the female body.

I don’t have any special works that I can do well. I actually switched careers halfway through photography. I’m still trying to figure it out. In the future, I want to shoot more works that I’m satisfied with.

I've never been told that sex is good, so it's hard for me to appreciate good sex. When we talk about sex, we always talk about morality. To be precise, sex is always associated with immorality.

Q: Chinese society often "associates sex with immorality". How would an ideal society in your mind view "sex"? What kind of beautiful sex looks like in your mind, you can describe it in detail, haha.

I think sex in an ideal society is just like what the text says, just treat it as a very natural thing. Don't avoid it, and don't take it too seriously. I haven't been to Germany, so I don't dare to say that it's ideal, but from what I know, it's closer. A place where women have been prime ministers for so many years, a place with a celestial bath, is ideal no matter what. Yes, at least it is developing towards the ideal.

The good sex in my mind... is that when it's over, everyone can sleep well, and when I wake up, I still think...

In fact, it is said in the text that it is very beautiful to achieve the purpose of connection, not only to feel a strong self, but also to feel a strong other party. So it's not something unattainable.

 The following questions, in fact, can't tell whether they are questions or sharing (or muttering to themselves), and also can't tell whether they are a reader or a group of readers. Do you see if it touches your feelings? or none can be skipped.

Okay, what do you think about adult films, the introduction is that some people think that "sex" is for doing, not for watching, watching porn is ridiculous and off topic, or watching porn itself is a matter of how sex is with oneself Things that have nothing to do with practice, may just be observed with a certain bias, or may only be extracted and referenced, and may not be able to have meaningful sexual discussions. --Is this point of view clear?

I think so, we should look at these two things in terms of origin and purpose. If the origin is a sexual drive, the two are one and the same thing. If the origin is wanting to connect with people, it's two things. In terms of purpose, if the purpose is sexual pleasure, the two are one and the same thing. If the purpose is a more advanced sexual experience, it's two things. There is a necessity for porn art to exist, which cannot be denied. But if you want to establish a good connection or understanding with others in a pure sexual experience, it obviously cannot be replaced by watching pornography. These are two related but different things, there is no need to favor one over the other, and not everyone has the right object to accomplish something that seems more advanced.

(My friend's experience is) The climax is an event that is very close to death. Liu Xiaofeng recounted the story of Kieslowski's "Double Veronica". Ka is having an orgasm with the puppeteer on the bed (possibly in their own parallel spiritual space and time), and it seems that they are bumping into Veronica, who is being buried in Poland... So the orgasm touches an individual quite deeply. Some people may cry bitterly, some may be furious, depending on how to ask you questions? http://www.rocidea.com/one?id=7928

I find it courageous to try to describe sexual experiences, but words have their limitations, especially when it comes to sex. This close-to-death description is nice and present, but it's not the only answer, or even close to the right answer. Sex can have an answer for everyone, just experience it and find it, there is no need to find a consensus on this experience. I think the great thing about sex is that it's indescribable, the language is pale, that's my understanding. The text also said that where language cannot reach, power cannot reach it. Power is constantly using language to discipline the dominated, so it can be understood that language is an extension of power domination. Sex cannot be described by language, so it has become a paradise beyond the reach of power. (This is Foucault's point of view)

If you want to be in-depth, you have to ask very personal ㄟ... Tell me about your sex friend standards, etc., will your friends repeat appointments or like one-night stands, what is the difference between sex friends and girlfriends, and whether there are at the same time Girlfriends and buddies, deconstruct your moral dimension and don't get entangled in sex. Ah, don't you have a girlfriend? Originally living a "sexless life", what does it have to do with the epidemic or totalitarianism?

This is really in depth hahaha. From what I understand at this stage, I try to weaken all relationships. Whether it's a buddy, a relationship, a marriage, or an open relationship, it's all trying to use the relationship to define the connection between two people. That is to say, we try to define this connection mode with different definitions, and give it a code of conduct, ok, you are boyfriend and girlfriend, then how should you be, how you should not be. From the perspective of each other, they will also guide their own behavior by defining the attributes of the relationship. For example, we are obviously gun friends, why do you want me to do things that my girlfriend only does. Things like this are putting the cart before the horse in my opinion. I think the connection itself is far greater than the relationship, so the existence of the relationship should be weakened. We should be more concerned with the connection itself, the sexual and loving parts of the connection, rather than thinking about how we should be because of this relationship. Many conflicts between people in modern society come from here. They have become accustomed to using relationships to kidnap each other's behavior, but they have completely forgotten the nature of relationships.

In my case, if I like a girl right now, then I try to connect. After the connection, they both felt that they could not be so close, and it might gradually develop into a relationship similar to gun buddies. If after the connection, like glue, they feel that they can become the existence of supporting each other, it is more like boyfriend and girlfriend. This state can also be changed. It's not that we establish a relationship first, we are boyfriend and girlfriend, then we should do what we should do.

As for the more private part, I've been single for many years, but that doesn't mean I don't have sex hahaha. I'm trying to practice what I've said above, so I don't care how relationships are defined, I just want to be better connected to others. You can say that I have a buddy, a romantic partner, or a girlfriend. It doesn't matter to me. But knowing each other must be done, and this is a matter of morality.

There are a lot of golden sentences written in the article "The Days When You Can't Make Love", and some of them are not very clear to me. Let's review them together, and also ask you to talk about the mood when you wrote these words.

Let me make an overview first : there are many reasons why you can't see through, because you may not live in this place, so you may not understand some things that have been nurtured by growing up in this environment. I call this situation A, and I will use A instead of the answer below . In addition, I think it's good to maintain a certain sense of mystery, and you don't have to read all of them to understand.

 1. It is best not to think when making love, because thinking will make blood flow to the brain. I am in my thirties, and I have been ravaged by society for a long time, and I am somewhat lacking in blood. The blood flows to the brain, and the blood supply will be insufficient where the blood is needed, and the scene will be a little embarrassing.

It's just some disgraceful statement of fact...

 2. Over the years, I have liked some girls, some became girlfriends, some did not; some had sex, and some did not, but without exception, the reason I like them has nothing to do with sex, I think about it now , which is also one of the problems.

Just wanted to say that growing up in this environment, if you want to develop serious relationships with other people, you don't think about sex in the first place. and A.

 3. Almost all the passionate parts are forced or even abused. I watched it with great enthusiasm. I was also really heartbroken in the part where I cut my hair later. The last disc of this film was scratched. For a long time, I suspected that I was a pervert. I became a pervert without doing anything and was very frustrated.

There's a bit of a legal issue here, ideological constructs don't constitute crimes. In terms of morality, only thought without action, does constitution constitute perversion?

 4. Looking back at my few romantic experiences, there are some notable situations, such as the more I love the person in front of me, the more I can't have sex with her, which obviously goes against my nature and talent in this area.

mere factual description. I had such an experience when I was very young. Not long after I fell in love, the other party made a request, but I didn't think about it at all, which led to some strange consequences. and A.

 5. Everyone knows this situation, because it is not only in the field of science, but also in all aspects of society: if you look at it alone, it is indeed development, it is indeed progress, and there is indeed a bright future - but if it is combined in Together, we synthesize our current life, but it is a stagnant pool, everyone is not very happy, there is no way out of working hard, no one wants to have children, and occasionally, like now, it will go back decades in the blink of an eye. This shows that something is higher than the science, law, morality, and ethics on which our lives depend, higher than the civilization and rationality we have been taught since childhood, higher than everything, but what is it and what does it look like Like, no one knows. In this way, only the gods can make sense. The land where we are now is also under construction like Disneyland. Only in this enclosed place can things related to gods be reasonable. So the so-called development in these years is nothing more than making this place more solid. Although Disneyland sells tickets, you can still come and go freely. The park we are in does not sell tickets, and there is nowhere to escape.

To the gods, you can only pray. It is not to pray to the gods to save you from suffering, but to pray that he and you should be on one side, otherwise, to the gods, you are just the slaughtered sheep, the slaughtered cows, and the slaughtered children.

Try to find the source of all the absurdities in your life. Under this kind of absurdity, how many lives and flesh and blood have piled up is actually very heavy.

 6. For example, when the lockdown was at its worst, I asked the team leader in the corridor group: Can I go downstairs to take out the garbage now? I have a strange feeling at this moment. In retrospect, it was very much like some kind of SM game, where you have to ask the supreme master for everything you do. In such repeated requests for instructions, I will fall madly in love with my team leader Lou, I will find out all the things that I can ask for instructions, and I will never get tired of it. but I do not have. Our team leader is a grandmother in her 70s. If the team leader was a young woman, I would want to ask for instructions every time I breathe, and would not hesitate to suffocate myself. This shows that I was not completely reversed, and I was picky, like a scumbag on a whim.

Regarding some instances of sexual inversion, I want to say that it sounds strange, but it's not that far from us. Especially in a place that likes high pressure everywhere.

 7. In this way, they have successfully created such a group of people. Even if the top is so tossed, the bottom will face it with a humiliating attitude, but never think, why should I accept these tortures. Even in the long-term torture, they will fall in love with this torture, regard this torture as justice, as the only way to go through lofty ideals, hate the same kind who do not need to be tortured, and eliminate all voices who do not want to be tortured. They realize themselves in this torture, move themselves in this torture, and climax in this torture. Orgasm is fleeting, and spiritual orgasm is lasting, as long as you keep paying tribute, keep chanting, keep broadcasting news, keep making gods and killing gods, keep slapping the wolf 12345, they will keep going. Get excited.

Just a few descriptions of what I've seen and heard in recent years. and A.

 8. Not only men and women have to learn to fake orgasms, this long-term oppression at the social level also leads to sexual inversion at the social level. For example, the current tendency of low-desire society is because everyone lives a life of being held on the ground. In order to adapt to this life, everyone inevitably becomes M. How to make love between M and M, as time goes by, the desire will naturally decrease. The matching of S and M replaces the normal gender matching, but where does everyone go to find S? This may be the reason why scumbags and scumbags are so marketable, they can play the role of S who causes harm very well. Many people always look hurt and in pain, but they just don't want to leave the person who hurt them. Because their hearts are actually eager to hurt, and the hurt and pain make them feel safe and feel the existence of themselves.

I'm in my thirties, and I'm about to enter middle age. In order to keep myself from looking greasy, I give myself three pieces of advice: 1. Don't think too much about educating others, 2. Don't brag, 3. Don't talk about pornographic jokes. But I've been ranting almost the whole article, not because I'm too oily, but just using sex to explain power, which is both vivid and graphic, in other words, sex itself is a symbol of power. It suddenly dawned on me that maybe that's why I'm awkward. Because I don't want to be pinned to the ground, nor do I want to be pinned to the ground. My rejection of sex is rooted in my rejection of power.

Can sex only be manifested in the form of power? This is my question now.

Try to explain the low desire society.

And the nature of my sexual rejection.

 9. When I finished reviewing my childhood memories one after another, I probably wanted to understand. Whether it's sex or love, the essence behind them is one's urge to connect with another. Sex is responsible for physical connection, and love is responsible for spiritual connection. The two are essentially the same thing, and there is no problem of unity. What sex can't connect, connect with love. It is this instinct to connect with people that weaves the entire human race into a society, and ultimately a civilization.

It's a simple truth, but it took me thirty years to figure it out, which shows how much garbage has been instilled in my mind.

Trying to articulate what I understand about the unity of sex and love.

 10. So, when someone asks how to relieve anxiety in this situation, my answer is still the same - having sex is the best way. The reason could not be simpler, it is to remind yourself that you are still a person during sex. This is indeed something that needs to be reminded when people are pressed to the ground and they are almost invisible.

Sex is deafening at the moment it happens, the sound is inaudible, the meaning is indescribable, the color is indistinguishable, and everything is indescribable. Where language cannot reach, power cannot reach, that is the only place where we can breathe.

When I recover and get a normal erection, I also want to understand a few things. I study hard and keep thinking. In fact, I want to create another JB in my mind, and use this JB to continue the vigorous vitality. I'm a little selfish and want to make the JB stalwart in my head a little bit, that's why I'm still working hard. As I get older, the JB that I was born with will sooner or later be powerless, the JB in my head I want it to be more and more majestic, and that's something I can change.

JB in the brain, no one can castrate.

In isolation, people will question whether they are human, because it is obvious that we are not treated as human beings. And when that feeling isn't instantaneous, but happens to you in a long, endless way, it's really something you need to do to remind yourself that I'm still human, and I'm still human. Sex is like a shot in the arm at this time.

As for having JB in my head, it's a metaphor...

❑ Postscript:

Thanks again @DreamOver for the interview. 🙏

Invite a reader @Joanna to give back to this interviewee:

Have a heart. The article "Days when I Can't Make Love" has written many feelings in my heart, and those that are hard to visualize were pointed out by the author. I can't help but think of one of the causes of depression, which is the feeling of powerlessness (fucked), which should have made people angry, but skipped the stage of anger and went directly to the feeling of sadness. Bless the author to keep those angers alive, anger will be easier to survive than sadness and melancholy.

The nickname of the penis, JB, is understood as the driving force of life. However, I am afraid that the JB in the brain is first castrated, and the JB in the body also loses desire. then what should we do?

I'm tired of the world every day, and I wake up every day without a problem, and treat it as an instalment payment, so as not to destroy myself in one fell swoop! Is there any other way but to create another JB yourself?