Si Kaoru | Acting bravely can bring you closer to your dreams

inner conflict

In the past, I always chose to do anything in a low-key manner, and would not take the initiative to express myself. In the past, everyone would help each other in the workplace, but under the rigid process of kPI's personnel system, no one would do anything that was ineffective, and it would cost money The more time there is, the more detrimental it is for me. At work, I am very tired and helpless in this fierce snatch atmosphere.

This has caused a lot of conflict with my heart. I am very busy every day. Especially now, I must review the work log and telephone interview with the manager before leaving get off work. After a busy day, maybe there is no business gain. The company has a colleague with a high salary and a high position, but he can't even speak at the counter. The supervisor will only ask others to do it, but he can't ignore it.

Maybe she is waiting for retirement. It doesn't matter. In the financial industry, there are many mistakes, but not doing well. Everyone is afraid that they will be criticized for their mistakes. They can push them when they can. I can't imagine that under the pressure of survival, I often start running against my inner self. , I really chose the wrong industry, I wasn't ruthless enough to kill, I really wasn't suitable for this industry.

Love yourself to be able to love others

Writing was originally an expression of myself escaping the frustrations of the real world. At the beginning of writing, I felt that I was useless and could not do anything. Fortunately, I love myself very much. Without the encouragement of others, I will encourage myself. The industry must have a strong will, because it will always be reviewed, the good will be better, and it will not stop, so in the process of writing, through continuous exploration of the heart, I did not expect that I have not written an article in 20 years, and I have not participated in the blog section. In the heyday, I simply wrote down my own mental journey, I just wanted to leave my record, and I can leave a memory for the children that belongs to [the fantasy world of the mother's heart].

Maybe people in our family have a bad heart, and the risk of leaving in an instant is much higher. This low period of inner conflict is really painful. I want to thank my son. He was hyperactive when he was a child. , Although in his little mind, the feeling of being labeled and despised by everyone must be very deep, but he has an optimism that is different from ordinary people. He always makes himself happy, so he is wide-hearted and fat. I hope he will stop going to horizontal development.

I ask him every day about my mood today, and I will also share my mood. He always uses his unique words to warm me and make me laugh. He asks me: "I care about the process or the result, there are only two choices. One, when he said this, I really touched my heart, didn't I want to have it all, so I made myself so miserable? I can't think of the past that often bothers me, and I really grew up.

Soul Writing Makes You Grow

Thinking that I created 723 works and accumulated 557,053 words. At the beginning of this process, I read a lot. At the beginning, my heart was simply heartbroken. Why is there melancholy between the words, I still clean up the garbage in my heart, like the petals of an onion, and the tears flow out with the words, listen to my inner voice, I don’t want to live a life like this, just change myself !

If you can't do anything, what should you do? In the past, I never knew myself, never thought carefully about the meaning of life, and I was full of self-confidence. I always felt that my thoughts were right. This is what I feel good about! ㄧ Once you awaken your self-consciousness, it is like a domino effect, shattering all your original self-confidence and rebuilding your self-confidence, which is more difficult than imagined.

When my daughter suffered from depression, she asked me what is the meaning of life? This made me speechless, because I never explored the meaning of my life, I wondered what happened to this child, only 12 years old, how could I have these thoughts, I was actually very naive like a child, and I never deeply understood my heart , children's problems, let yourself explore the inner world, without opening the lock in your heart, you can't accompany the children to face their problems. I have been frustrated on the road of educating children, and I even doubted what I did in my previous life. How many bad things, my children will have so many problems.

God gave me a deep understanding of this feeling, so I re-entered the workplace and realized what is bullying? What is labeling? When I was young, I was the treasure in everyone's heart. I was always very popular and popular, but the years took away the advantages of youth. Older people can only take responsibility, because these supervisors only care about young people. After all, they With the advantage of youth, it is easy to go anywhere, and it is really easy to replace the older ones. Unless you can create productivity, it is a matter of time before you are replaced.

For writing like me, getting support is the greatest encouragement

My article is from myself. I think that 100 people read it at first, but now 58,000 people read it on PopDaily. This is a great encouragement to me. Now I will tell everyone that I am a blogger @si Kaoru, I I feel that I have more mission to write, starting from myself, I hope to bring more warmth to people, my thank you for persevering is really my original intention of writing, and I won 947 shots, which really encourages me to move forward , The self who knew nothing at the beginning, bravely do it, and then have the self who has grown up now.

I can bravely tell you

I am a blogger @si Kaoru

In the mediocre work, I became a blogger and created another way for my future. Unexpectedly, I gradually became a graphic creator, creating short stories, completing ink painting, calligraphy, freehand watercolor, blue and white Zen winding, gilding, The online exhibition of electronic painting, and the annual writing activity of expressing body and soul, I want to thank so many people for their support, so that I can keep my path consistent. Now in the eyes of other people in the company, they all feel that I Going the wrong way, I have my own dreams, I just want to be a better me, I think I am already on the road to my dreams in the future.