Why do you feel confused about "choice" and how to make a choice?

Do you feel anxious about some important choices in your life? For example, when you were in school, were you confused about which school to go to? Or after leaving the society, feel at a loss as to what kind of job to choose? Why is this?

In this regard, I would like to share my subjective thoughts today.

👀 Why is choice so important?

Before I talk about my own thoughts on the issue of "how to make choices", I think I have to say " why are choices so important"?

I believe many people have heard the words that if you work harder and persist a little more, you will definitely succeed, right? There are also some people who will advocate that hard work is very important, and you should find a way to persevere, and one day you will be successful!

But is this really the case? Efforts will definitely pay off, as long as you persevere in perseverance, will you be successful? I have to be very honest and clear first: " The answer to this question is probably not known! " As with many philosophical issues, there are some questions that you can't answer no matter how you think about it.

Having said that, if you let it go, you may miss a great opportunity. I don't think efforts will necessarily succeed, and often the choices made at the beginning can make or break things.

If what I just said is the same, I have to say that I can't prove this, I can't prove what is the right choice, even "Whether it's the right choice", "Is there any luck involved? ', I may not be able to answer these questions. So this article is just my personal experience.

Returning to the topic of the previous paragraph, if you have no idea what you are working hard for and what you are working hard for, then I would think that this is completely "gambling chance". Why do you say that? Suppose there is a project, and the goals of the project are clearly set at the beginning, but the part you are executing is completely unrelated to that project, do you think there is a way for this project to get good results?

Maybe there are times when there is a mishap, there is an accident, and there is an unexpected effect, but most of the time the situation is often the opposite of the former, right? Therefore, how to make choices to maximize the results of your own efforts will be a very important issue!

🙋 Why are you confused about your choices?

So, knowing why we make choices and how important choices are, let’s explore why choices often leave us feeling lost and overwhelmed? What is the reason for this?

I want to explain it from two aspects. The first point is "self", or "reality"; then I will talk about "other", or "ideal".

• 📍 Reality

The first is reality. At this level of reality, the concept is "what you have now", "reality". If we want to achieve a certain purpose, it must be done through our existing resources.

We must recognize the reality clearly and clearly understand what we have and what we lack, so that we can make accurate choices.

If you don't recognize your lack of ability and choose an option that overestimates your ability, you will most likely not be able to accomplish that goal, or be extremely miserable in the process.

• 📍 ideal

Then there is the ideal level. Why separate this aspect? The reason is that I think that when we make choices, we often hope that we can achieve a certain purpose, and that purpose is often not yet available, so we want to achieve it through choice and hard work! (kind of like crap)

So, if you want to accomplish something, you must know what your ideal is, and try to imagine what your ideal looks like, even if it is difficult and very abstract.

You can choose to do something different and explore what your ideals really look like.

In general, although the above is divided into two aspects to explain this matter, it is clear that the reason why we are afraid, confused and overwhelmed by the choice, I think a very big factor comes from "unknown" , "do not understand" . In other words, human beings feel uneasy, anxious and fearful about the unknown.

Therefore, at this time, it will be extremely important to clarify those things that are unknown to you . Blind choice, I think it is not a wise move.

🔔 Ask yourself: "What exactly do I want?"

Continuing from the last paragraph, I said that human beings often feel uneasy, anxious and fearful about the unknown and the future. It is very important to clarify those things that are unknown to you. You must be clear about what you have and what you want. What is it, you have a way to make a choice.

Next, I would like to describe this aspect of "ideal" in more detail.

When you get to the bottom of it, you'll find that you have to ask yourself a very central question: " What exactly do I want? "

Yup! What exactly do you want and why do you choose?

Therefore, the main premise or core problem of making choices is that you must first understand what your goals are and why you should make choices! If you think about this issue and you find that you don’t know what you want at all, then you should go back to this issue and think about it.

In the end, if you get "you have no goals but you are not satisfied", then you have to find your goals first; and if you get "I have goals but don't know how to achieve them", then you can keep working hard; in other words, If you come up with "I'm quite satisfied," that's fine too.

When you know exactly what you want, find a simple example, such as: " find a good job " and then you clarify the reality and the ideal, then the remaining things will be what you lack. Things, you need to start making serious choices; and if you find that you have enough ability, then obviously you can stop thinking about choices.

Those things you lack, of course, depend on "learning"! For example, if you want to find a good job, then you must have the corresponding ability, and you do not have it. So the next choice to make is perhaps which way to study, go to a cram school or study by yourself? How to choose this? Of course, it is to repeat what I just said to clarify reality and ideals, and find out the learning method that suits you.

❓ Right and wrong choices

Coming to the last paragraph of the article, you may ask, " What if I make a serious choice and fail? "

Questions like this, I still feel anxious about my choice, do I think I will make the wrong choice, and will I regret it?

I think that even though you have exhausted your existing abilities, resources, and made your choice seriously, there is no need to worry too much about it. Because you have to know that if your ability is there, then the things you can change will also be there , unless you continue to learn, you have the opportunity to change. Besides, there are so many unknown things that we can't change now, who has a way to know what will happen in the future?

Instead of worrying too much about "choice", it is better to focus on the follow-up efforts. I think this is the most effective. So regretting the choice is really unnecessary, after all how do you know that you will succeed if you choose another option?

Of course, if you really can’t control it or feel anxious and regretful, that’s normal! If a single sentence could solve these problems, then professions such as psychiatrists and psychologists would not need to exist. Therefore, if your situation is "you know the truth, but you still feel anxious ", then I suggest you seek professional help (if it affects your life for a long time).

Seeing here, you may find how the purpose of this article is a bit like "how to achieve goals". You're right, it's somewhat related, because I think choices tend to be purposeful and that's what ties the two together. The issue of "how to achieve the goal" will definitely be more complicated than today's issue, and there will definitely be many setbacks in the process that need to be assisted in other ways.

And I don't think you'll suddenly make a choice after reading this article. As mentioned in the article, when making choices, you have to think about those questions over and over again, and the more serious the issues, the more you need to think about them. But I hope that after reading this article, you will no longer feel too anxious about "choice", but focus on which choice is right for me.

This article ends here. At the end, the core topic of this article "how to make choices" is listed in a column-like manner:

1. Think about what you want
2. Clarify your reality
3. Work hard to make up for what's lacking until the reality matches the ideal
4. Keep trying and don't get overly anxious about choices
5. With new questions, choices, repeat back to point 1

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