032｜Love yourself starts with being happy for yourself.

Please recall, when and under what circumstances was the last time you felt “happy” in your heart?

I think most people will naturally feel happy when they are "recognized" , "rewarded" , "good luck" and other "external rewards" .

So when do you remember the last time you were really happy with yourself?

After thinking about it, I was like, "Ah, I seem to have forgotten how to be happy for myself," and then realized that maybe this is the biggest reason why I "be happy" when I can't be alone.

After realizing this, I began to rethink my current "source of happiness" :

1. To be recognized by others

2. Have an in-depth discussion of a topic with someone you trust

3. Seek outside help and help others

4. Gain new opportunities

5. Needed by others

It is not difficult to find that these sources are actually very reasonable "sources of happiness", and everyone will feel satisfied and happy because of the above-mentioned events. But at the same time, it is not difficult to find that these energy sources all come from the "outside" (others or the environment) . If you only rely on these energy sources for a long time, the biggest danger is to "overrely on" the positive feedback from the outside world, thus gradually losing your self -esteem. own "identity" . And "self-identity" is the cornerstone of a healthy personality.

Through this awareness, I pulled myself away and asked myself this question:

How would I be happy about myself?

This thought made me change the source of happiness from "exploring outwards" to "exploring inwards", and back to the core issue of "what kind of person am I/what kind of person do I want to be" .

So, how am I going to be happy about myself?

1. The self who is willing to care and help others without asking for anything in return

2. Persist in writing and insist on publishing content

3. Actively focus at work and forget about eating and sleeping

4. Love plants, can take good care of flowers and plants

5. I like cooking and can make delicious dishes with ordinary ingredients

6. In the face of setbacks and difficulties, the self who can not give up small actions

7. Responsible and hope to do the best in everything

8. Be full of love for life and have your own life aesthetics

9. You have the special skill of "not worrying about money" (not because you are rich)

10. I can insist on getting up early (it’s not very early, it’s 7 o’clock)

11. Always be passionate about self-growth

Writing this, I accidentally discovered that there are far more things that can be "happy for myself" than "happy for others' eyes". (Writing here is also very happy!)

Many people have a misunderstanding in their thinking, which leads "inward exploration" to the direction of "inward exploration of themselves in the eyes of others/immersed in internalized negative emotions" .

Typical "inward-looking" mistakes are:

• Indulge in negative emotions and feelings of inferiority caused by an event

• Get used to comparing yourself with others and create a “feeling of difference”

• The habit of comparing one's own weaknesses to others' strengths

• Self-criticism and self-doubt: I'm just so useless, I just can't do anything

• Being overly modest when you've achieved something: there's nothing to be happy about

Being able to be happy about the small progress you are making is the foundation of everyday happiness. As stated in "12 Laws of Survival":

We only need to compare ourselves with who we were yesterday, not with others today.

You can start by writing your own "happiness list", or you can start with any small improvement next time, and be happy for yourself once, from the heart.

To practice the ability to be happy with yourself is to practice the ability to love yourself.

May everyone become a better version of themselves and gain peace and love.

about me:

A roast chicken that lives in the southern hemisphere.

Export Studies Instructor, ICF Certified, Member ID #009600446I

Committed to promoting the "output" thinking system, and using "output" to promote the growth of more people.

The topics I focus on are: self-growth, self-compassion, gay issues, building a personal brand, workplace transformation, and anything that can make you a better version of yourself.

Chat with me: milagro0828@gmail.com

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