Weekend talk｜It's not self-effacing words

Write it up front: I wrote this title first, and the focus of the article should be on improvisation, but the window suddenly closed when it was almost finished, and the rewritten content was deviated.

ridiculous thing

In addition to the daily work of the dessert shop (trivial things, including online and physical store operations), there are about dozens of letters related to the coaching work to reply, plus two website operations, sometimes it is difficult to squeeze out Time to read, you will feel an indescribable anxiety and emptiness. That anxiety can make you breathless or sleepless.

I often have to convince myself, "I've done a lot today, and I don't have to read to make sense."
My mom reminded me of this before, she always said, "Take it easy, don't keep thinking about what book to read!"

In fact, I always feel that it is very strange to tell others about things like "I feel anxious because I don't read books" (I shouldn't write it in public and say it's strange to expose my anxiety about not reading , which is a bit contradictory... ), people who are obsessed with reading probably have similar symptoms. This is actually the same obsession with addicts and alcoholics. If you absorb more, you can suspend the discomfort, and there is no other trick.

But my problem is not the same as "book lover".

I'm not asking myself to read a book a day (in fact, it takes days for me to finish reading a book) or to keep up with other people's discussions. The object of my addiction is "reading" not "books". I don't read many books, but I focus on a specific field, and I never feel that I have to get any knowledge or information from books - I don't like fast food culture, but I believe that I will gain something in the process of reading, even now Not feeling is not in vain - this is perhaps closer to the concept of spirituality .

A ridiculous thing happened to me. Last week, I wrote a "chat" that mentioned "Soul Writing" , however, the book I read was "Spiritual Writing" - I made an oolong, and I searched "Soul Writing" but chose "Spiritual Writing" English version - the whole thing seems even more fantastical, this is the first time I read this kind of book (not literature or history and philosophy), and I accidentally got an answer to my recent writing bottleneck in the recommended preface, and at the time I thought it was really A miracle! And this book isn't what I was supposed to read.

Improvisation

I'm lucky to have the time to read as an adult, not to mention the time to write outside of work, which I've always felt is a mental luxury to be able to read and write.

I am a jazz lover. I go wandering with my flute, and I can jam when I meet other musicians. This may be the reason why I like improvisation. I don’t know the requirements and attention to improvisation of text, or how to execute it. this matter? What I do is start writing unplanned with the music on.

It's easy to write logical words when I'm consciously writing, but it loses the fun of literary creation, so I like to write dreams or miscellaneous stories like this written by several unrelated concepts.

Last Sunday, I suddenly thought of the creator of the coffee shop I wrote two months ago. It was a short story I wrote improvisationally in the store. Last week, I wrote two very short stories that are related but not connected. Playing my favorite music, I wrote it down as I felt, and when I finished writing it, I wasn’t sure if it didn’t contradict the previous one—it can be said that this is a very intuitive and lazy way of writing.

But I forgot that I decided to leave the broad sense of writing at the beginning, because I found that I no longer respect and revere writing, and I finished writing an article or comment in one fell swoop, and that was my food tool, everything changed. It's too obvious to be boring. So when I first joined the writing platform, I set my goal to just create and not write reviews. (obviously broke the contract)

 This part was originally the focus of this article, but the window suddenly closed at the end of the article, leaving only the subject part of the first paragraph in the draft. After all, the Zatan article was written very casually, and I can't go back to the original one.

How to define it?

Woke up yesterday to see an artist I admire taking my article, enough to keep me entertained all day long!

The ones below are not written for appreciation, but I'm a person who knows exactly what I'm "good at or not good at" at anything. I know that my logic and observation skills are suitable for writing review articles; I also know that my narrative style has a special tone, and indeed some people appreciate this narrative and like my writing.

At the same time, I believe that my cultural background is not as high as many others, and I always envy those who can master various cultural issues; Makes me very uncomfortable.

Four years ago, the editor of a fairly well-known literary publishing house contacted me on medium. If the conditions required by the other party are fulfilled, the cooperation will be broken.

It's not an excuse after the fact. At the beginning, I felt that I couldn't be the second of so-and-so, but I rarely admire writers who write well in prose. Many well-known writers' prose is very fictitious or even a little fussing about it. She is very good at current affairs observation and word processing. If an editor purely likes my prose and wants to publish it, of course, it's a great opportunity, but I don't want to be a copycat of someone else, claiming that it is always short before it reaches that level.

That's why I can't break away from classic literature yet, and there's still a lot of room to strengthen the basics.

 Thinking back to when everyone said that Wang Xinling was little Jolin Tsai and Ke Jiayan was called little Gui Lunmei, the temperament and momentum were just different...

Cover photo: The chandelier at Versailles was chosen at random