Essays｜Free writing｜Youth, growing up, people and things that have to be left behind

This article is one of the free writings in my notebook in 2019. I found it by chance today and felt something, and I want to share it with you.

Today RC announced the end of service.

I was a little surprised and a little sentimental, thinking about their advertisements on TV back then, "the lightest, the smallest, the most powerful" , and the games that used voice communication as a means were gradually developed. Only typing can communicate, or like World of Warcraft, the voice in the game is exaggerated, and the same sentence has to be said many times before you know what you are talking about. It is like listening to a radio broadcast with noise interference.

So RC was born , with a lot of advertisements that I still remember to this day, filled with advertisements on almost every device, so in addition to downloading the main program to play the game, you also have to download the RC.

Although I wrote in the group today "Life is constantly losing from the age of 30" , but in fact, it should be 20 years old in my impression, I dare not write too young, because we are already far away from 20 years old. I have been an "uncle" for many years. If I really wrote down the terrible number of twenty years old, even myself would be a little panicked.

That day, in the book "The Passing of the Seventy-Year-Old Death Act" , when I saw the protagonist's mother spinning in the snow, she felt like a girl, and I thought to myself, "This is really shameful, and the aunt has a girl's heart too!" I feel the same way. It is no longer the age to say "I am a young man". It seems that I was a teenager who just went to college. I still remember it very clearly. The picture of the dormitory, and the picture of grandma following me and my mother to confirm the supplies in the dormitory the night before. I remember the picture of grandma taking out the electric fan and putting it on the table. The electric fan is now in the corner of my room. I think it's the only one left to go through all this with me.

oh! And my mother, of course, but my grandmother passed away first.

Looking back, I still think that life is constantly losing this thing after the age of 20. It is really too philosophical to say.

We grow up slowly, and gradually pick up items on the road of life. Family members, friends, classmates, as well as many accustomed items, things that are taken for granted in life, eventually fade away slowly with the wind after we grow up.

After the age of twenty-five, I always feel that my body is really eroded by the years, as if an invisible shield is gradually fading, so the turbulent waves of time are eroding my body and spirit . I can’t take it for granted to stay up late. Whenever I go to bed after twelve o’clock, the next day I feel like I can’t think in chaos, and I start to “learn” to flash to my waist until I can’t take care of myself, and I can clearly feel the years in my body. The passing of the sand is really like quicksand passing in the palm of my hand. I can't describe it in other ways. That kind of decline that can't be grasped and can't be saved is like fine sand passing through our clenched palms, quickly and surely slipping away from our fingers. So the more anxious we try to grasp it harder, but it always has the opposite effect.

Gone! Gone!

We have lost something, something that represents youth.

The bookstores and film rentals in Jincheng that used to be all over the street closed down one by one. I could only go in and feel the warmth of youth while the "leftovers were cleared" , as if we were still like us when we were 18 years old. We shuttle between bookshelves and DVD shelves to find books or movies that we are interested in. I know that these are the torrents of the times that we cannot grasp and cannot avoid. I never change the trend of the times . At this moment, I really want to... I really want to stay in place like this, try my best to stop it with my body, use my feet to stand firm in the rushing river, and continue to stay here for a moment, as long as this For a moment, to feel the afterglow of the times, and the last ghost of our youth.

Once we lost something, it was a title page that filled our youthful years, Wuming Xiaozhan, MSN, remember the time when everyone was still "waiting for the lights", when we got home and opened the familiar chat frame, The waiting screen for logging in jumped in front of me, which made me excited, looking forward to how many people could chat with me and how many unread messages were there at the moment of logging in.

Who updated the nameless station today? What new articles should I write? What new photo to go with? These troubles are so familiar and distant, as if I close my eyes and I can still remember when I shared an account with my college classmates and wrote some nonsense on it, as if I closed my eyes and I could hear the familiar message notification sound, But when I opened my eyes, I couldn't even recognize a little bit of reverberation. Those objects and familiar things that once represented our youth, those that once represented our youth, marked the life of our generation, are gradually changing from my Disappeared in the visual forest , so I opened my eyes, and what I saw was that those illusory bubbles of reality did not even leave a "Boom!" when they disappeared.

We have left many things we don't want to leave behind on the way of growing up, the streets we used to know, the people and things we used to know, the friends who used to laugh and dance with you, the partners who used to spend intimate nights with you, The brothers who used to smoke and chat with you on the streets late at night, the Internet cafes, restaurants, coffee shops, book rental shops, rental film shops that we used to love, the daily habits that we used to take for granted have all disappeared , like spring Bubble, when our years pass by like a fleeting moment, like those objects that must be sacrificed, disappear.

Written on 2019/3/19
Half-hour uninterrupted free writing practice, 1696 words