Memoirs of a Loser 02: Inside the Circle and Outside the Circle

People today either haven't experienced the era of 1970, or they have forgotten it. At that time, Hong Kong was dominated by anti-communist forces, and the leftists formed a special circle of their own. Hong Kong's newspaper industry, publishing industry, and film industry are clearly divided between the left and the right. The left is the pro-CCP force; the right is the pro-Taiwan Kuomintang force. The cultural world is definitely dominated by the right. In the business world, British-owned companies dominate, and Hong Kong-owned companies are on the rise. Most of the newspapers at that time marked the year with "Republic of China" in their mastheads. If the year was marked in AD, no matter what neutral color was painted on it, even if it focused on Hong Kong news and avoided the ideology of the Kuomintang and the Communist Party, it was still considered a leftist. . Every year on 10.1, not many people build archways with five-star flags, but the streets and alleys are full of red flags in the blue sky and daytime of Double Ten. It is very difficult for young people from leftist schools to enter the mainstream system in Hong Kong. It is very difficult for them to enter universities and normal schools, not to mention the civil service exams. After the leftist riots in 1967, ordinary businesses in society also rejected leftist school graduates, and leftist workers entered factories and concealed their identity as a leftist union member.

The left wing has a small circle of its own, with low wages, but no worries about accommodation and three meals a day. Most of the school teachers, trade union members, and employees of Chinese-funded institutions have ideals, trust the country led by the CCP, trust and obey the leadership, and have a decent work style. I was a junior high school student at the left-wing Xiangdao Middle School, and I was nurtured and enlightened by several teachers. I still miss them to this day. There are many talents in the left-wing journalism. The "Ta Kung Pao" top ten talents, all of them have learned from Chinese and Western, and their writing is sharp. The comments and supplement articles are readable, and I have learned a lot from them. When I was 20 years old, I first contributed to the "Wen Wei Po"'s "Literary Weekly". The editor-in-chief of the literary section at that time was Rover, who was seconded from "Ta Kung Pao". .

For mainstream society in Hong Kong, the left-wing circle is an alternative. After the establishment of the Communist Party of China, a large number of mainlanders have flowed into Hong Kong in the past 20 years. The leftists do not participate in this kind of competition, but many people feel that there is a backing of the motherland and ideals of patriotism and socialism. People in society may look down on us, but we look down on ourselves.

I still think that the leftists in Hong Kong at that time were, as a whole, kind and simple people. Even if they participated in the riots in 1967, it was out of loyalty and trust to the motherland. But their motherland is not pure. What the leaders preach and what they actually govern are two different things. From the struggle against landlords at the beginning of the CCP's establishment, to the eradication of rebels, the anti-rightist movement, the Great Leap Forward, the Great Famine, the anti-rightist movement, and the great escape from Hong Kong, to the Cultural Revolution, which was completely anti-tradition, anti-common sense, and anti-social basic morality. Every time there is a movement, every time there is an incident that causes doubts about the motherland in the leftist camp in Hong Kong, the Hong Kong and Macao workers will send people to various patriotic groups to preach the situation. When employees hear that they want to know and feel it is "reasonable" After the explanation, through "learning", the doubts are lifted and the thinking is "unified"! However, if it is not only the news spread from the non-leftist media and Hong Kong society, but if there are relatives and family members and even their own experiences mixed in, then the actual predicament is not a big reason that can be relieved.

Sitting on the chair in the departure hall, I thought about how I defended the CCP regime in the past, but now that when the predicament is upon me, I cannot make any excuse for not only unreasonable, but also absurd. What I did before, is it wrong? In the future, if there is still a chance to "later", what should I do? What can I do? Do I have personal freedom?

(Article published on April 23, 2021)

"Memoirs of a Loser" serial catalog (continuously updated)

1. Inscription
2. break through
3. Inside the circle outside the circle

 ("Memoirs of a Loser" was previously published in "Apple Daily" and is now serialized in Matters)