New Russian Jokes (17)

118) Thanks for the creativity of netizen "bb bb"

Shevchenko called for sanctions on Russia, and some netizens went to his social account to satirize: "It is rumored that you opened champagne to celebrate during the half-time break of the Champions League final in Istanbul on May 25, 2005."

Shevchenko replied: "First of all, it's not me, and secondly, even if it is me, it has been surpassed by future generations: some people are in Kyiv on February 24, 2022, but they are drinking champagne while entering the field."

119)

Some supporters of Russian netizens satirized: "When will Ukraine hit Moscow, blow up New York, and destroy Tokyo?"

Someone left a message: "What? There is also a Putin in Ukraine?"

120)

Putin ordered a bottle of Maotai in a Chinese restaurant, and the waiter opened the bottle and handed him the bottle cap and said please use it slowly. He asked, "You call this little lid Maotai?"

"I was waiting for you to take down the entire Ukraine, but now you say that the goal has been completed. Are you going to take a Donbas and tell me that this is Ukraine?"

121)

On the morning of the first day of school, Russian children heard a phrase repeated over and over on the radio: "The United States of America, which always thinks itself is always right, does not listen to the slightest criticism, and invades other countries."

When we got to school, the new teacher wanted to test the students and asked if anyone knew who the President of the Russian Federation was. The child rushed and said, "United States of America."

122)

Two Russian generals are preparing for the pretext of unfavorable military action in Ukraine, intending to shirk the aid of too many advanced weapons for the enemy country to Ukraine.

"So, which country is now helping Ukraine with the most weapons?"

"Without a doubt, America."

"The second most, which country is it?"

"China." "Why? The president won't believe it."

"If it wasn't that they lent so much money to the United States, how could the United States have the money to help Ukraine?"

123)

Russian and Polish netizens quarrel over Ukraine.

Polish netizen: "I really hope the Chinese invade Poland and then return to the country completely, so that they invade Russia twice."

Russian netizen: "I really hope the Finns invade all European countries outside our country and don't withdraw, so you all 'Finnish'."

(Note: Finnishization adopted the route of high economic welfare and diplomatic compliance with Russia after World War II)

124)

In a speech at the Duma, Russian political theorist Dukin vehemently criticized some leaders for patronizing their own mansion, but leaving Russian soldiers on the front line short of supplies. Everyone was ashamed and silent for a moment.

Putin said first: "In order to attack Ukraine, I built a new home on the Black Sea. I am familiar with the climate of Ukraine. Don't get me wrong."

Shoigu said: "I renovated my home. It's an exercise for the next Yellow Russia plan. It's reasonable to be the defense minister, right?"

Medvedev was relieved: "With your two examples, I have been reminding myself: bring the fire of the Third Rome back to my home."

Note: In recent years, there have been media reports that Putin has a villa of 18,000 square meters on the Black Sea (near Ukraine); Shoigu has a Chinese-style villa of 9,000 square meters on the outskirts of Moscow; Medvedev is in Italy (the origin of the ancient Roman Empire) Land) also has luxury villas