grandfather

My mother called me and said, on the first day of the Lunar New Year, your grandfather left, and you were traveling in the United States at that time. We didn't want you to be unhappy, so we didn't tell you at that time.

I'm going home, I said.

Don't go back, you won't be able to see it when you go back, it was cremated in the third grade of junior high school, and then buried.

Grandpa has been ill for many years, and the way the family relieves the pain is to often joke in words—"I'm afraid the old man won't live long".

Thought they were ready until death really came this winter and the family was raided.

Caught off guard.

For half his life, Grandpa operated a rice mill.

This machine can process rice harvested by villagers from the fields into edible polished rice.

Grandpa is never short of catties, and everyone in the village asks grandpa to grind rice;

The villagers next door walked a few kilometers to find their grandpa to mill rice.

That machine occupies half of the yard, its shape is ugly like a monster, its iron skin is hard and cold,

As soon as it was started, it kept hesitating, and there was a loud bang, shaking the whole house from side to side;

Gray fumes billow from the chimneys above the machines and sink to the ground,

When the wind blows, gray air fills the courtyard,

Accidentally exhaled, my nose ran out, and I was about to cry for a long time.

Every time the machine was turned on, I fled into the room, closed the doors and windows, and avoided pollution like the plague.

But grandpa stayed by the machine, never leaving it from morning till night.

His blue polyester card jacket was covered with dust,

He covered his cough,

After one bag of rice was processed, he hurriedly picked up the next bag and poured it into the machine.

He will rely on this machine to prop up the whole house,

The eating and drinking of the two sons,

Wife's oil salt sauce vinegar tea.

The sons grew up slowly,

The eldest son didn't like reading, so he sent him to learn carpentry.

The second son's grades were good, and he asked him to continue studying based on his simple intuition about education.

Tuition became an issue,

Nearby are poor relatives,

He became ruthless and borrowed usury.

Year after year, the interest rolled over, and he frowned, carrying a mountain of debt.

Carried until my son graduated from junior high school, high school, and college.

Confined to the village all his life, his greatest hobby is wandering around the village with his hands behind his back,

Look to the left, look to the right, and join in when you encounter small talk,

Discuss a few words of right and wrong, answer a few words,

There will be some satisfaction in my heart;

The inner and outer third floors of the mahjong table are crowded with people,

He kept digging in,

The people at the banquet drew a good card, and he laughed,

The pair was not evenly matched, he shook his head and sighed,

For the thin pleasures of this life,

He was full of enthusiasm, more affectionate than the people at the table.

In bad harvest season, no one mills rice,

He rode on his beloved permanent brand bicycle with 26-inch big wheels,

Ride to the town, the main street with many shops.

That was the only distance in his life.

Because they cannot bear the risk of the car being pushed away,

He doesn't park on the side of the road,

He just held the car with both hands, didn't enter the shop, stood in front of the shop door, stretched his neck and poked inside,

Look left and right, look carefully,

After visiting a family, I pushed the cart and moved slowly to the next house.

He can't bear to buy anything,

In the end, only at the pork stall at the corner,

Cut a piece of meat and go home.

Back in the yard, he parked the car, squatted down, locked the car,

The meat hanging from the dragon's head, swaying left and right in the air,

Grandma came out of the kitchen, pursed her mouth, and cursed, "running around if you don't have the skills."

He doesn't refute, doesn't argue,

Just bow your head, like a child who has done something wrong,

Smiling shyly and shyly.

Ten years ago, he started coughing profusely,

Sputum, occasionally hemoptysis,

The breath is full of fine moist rales.

On the CT film, his lungs are crumpled white paper,

"This is because the lungs have been infested with dirty gas for a long time," said the doctor.

Everyone thought of the rice mill.

But no one poked it, and there was no way to blame it.

What's wrong?

The ultimate culprit is not a machine, but life.

The house has been quiet since then,

It's just the sound of coughing with phlegm,

It's getting more and more complicated and turbid.

During the three years of the epidemic, I did not go home once,

He only occasionally heard his mother mention his recent situation on the phone.

He took medicine for a long time,

He needs to be hospitalized every six months.

His hospital stay was getting longer and longer,

He was infected with the new crown,

He was lying on the bed with his eyes closed and an oxygen mask on his face.

He was incontinent, slurred his speech,

He was no longer breathing, on a winter morning when he was 77 years old.

After hanging up my mother's phone, the family group rang a message.

I clicked in and saw that his WeChat account was still in the group.

His profile picture is his picture,

Wrinkled face, weak smile.

I suddenly found that my mobile phone has my selfie, dinner photos with friends, work photos, travel photos, photos with my parents,

Not a single picture of him,

Why is he always ignored by life.

I saved his profile picture on my phone.

I want to always remember grandpa.

I will always remember Grandpa,

like remembering this winter,

Countless ordinary, ordinary, and ant-like deaths.