Nepal Adventures: Me, a Young Drug Dealer, and a Girl in an Underground Dance Hall

尼泊尔旅程结束时，遇到我的人都会好奇地问，那是一个什么样的国家？某书上写，那里是世界上最贫穷的国家之一，是徒步者的天堂，是嬉皮、精灵、自由与各种浪漫色彩滤镜，标签林立。对我来说，许是海拔作祟，许是噪音过载，或者因为某种特殊的空气。记忆里尼泊尔的一切都浸泡在一种绵延而梦境般的昏迷感受之中，只有极少数瞬间，我感觉清醒。很多事我现在也不知道是如何发生的，又如何震撼了我的心。

This article was first published in Youthology, a column I started writing this year. After I finished the main part of this article, my friend Goumao added some text, so it can be considered a co-writing. The friendship of the girls going on adventures together becomes a hidden thread.

01 Arrival

The whole process of entering Nepal by land makes one deeply understand what "dusty" means. Even though we were covered in dust, we were really exhausted.

Before arriving at Zhangmu Port, I and two friends, Goumao and her partner Kolo, drove from Lhasa to Nyalam in 24 hours, crossing the Himalayas. The raised circle on the map is the border between Nepal and Tibet, more than 5,000 meters above sea level, thousands of kilometers of trekking. People traveled in the concave gaps of the topographic map. When we arrived at Nyalam Port at 4 a.m., it was March, and the world outside the car was minus 15 degrees Celsius. We got into a small shabby hotel that cost 50 yuan a night and survived on electric blankets.

The next day, we got up and rushed from Nyalam to Zhangmu Port. For the convenience of the journey, we only brought some thin jackets, huddled together as much as possible, put on the thicker jackets, tied the thinner ones around our legs, and blew out trembling breath in the car.

The feeling of approaching Nepal is so obvious. The front is no longer a vast expanse of white. First, a small road made of stone slabs replaces the cement road. Then ochre and orange houses begin to appear. The temperature gradually rises. The world seems to suddenly begin to melt in a spring rain, warm, wet, and muddy.

The border between Nepal and China is a narrow river. On one side of the river is China, and on the other side is Nepal. We bid farewell to the Chinese customs building with shiny tiles and modern order, and excitedly crossed a bridge and followed the large group to wait in a run-down and inconspicuous shop. Many people stayed on the second floor. We tentatively walked up, the stairs jingled, and a layer of oil and dirt condensed on the old wooden floor. There were a few people sitting inside, like a hotel information desk.

After waiting for dozens of minutes, we finally found out what we were waiting for. It turned out that this was the Nepal Customs Building. There were two staff members sitting at the small front desk. It turned out that there was temporarily no Internet in the building, so the entry registration procedures could not be completed.

The disparity in infrastructure is like going back 30 years. Poverty and backwardness are so obvious that they cannot be ignored. From minus ten degrees to plus twenty degrees, we took off our clothes and the fatigue of the journey. We were obviously excited. The off-road vehicle drove on the bumpy and undulating mountain road, listening to the driver playing European and American pop music, all the way to the center of this small country!

The only way to get around in Nepal is by car. From the Zhangmu border crossing to Kathmandu, you can see a whole country, from dilapidated villages and dusty towns to the modern capital with tall buildings. In the more than ten hours of driving, we crossed the border with our bodies, and the geographical extension and the feeling of "measuring" the land were very strong.

Noise, speeding cars, dust, low air visibility, colorful houses, warm sunshine, chaotic traffic and exaggerated purchasing power of RMB. This is my first impression of Nepal. The story I am going to tell below happened in a world with such a context.

Invitation

We arrived in Kathmandu on an ordinary night. After 11 o'clock, we walked out of the hostel and wanted to find the local nightlife.

I suddenly realized that the cafe in front of my house during the day has turned into a night dance club at night. Going down two flights of stairs from the residential building, you will find a very local dim dance bar. On the low and small platform in the center, there is a belly-exposed dancer wearing a black sari, twisting her body to perform a local dance. Surrounded by a few worn-out black leather sofas, it was very quiet on Monday night, with not many guests, and it felt like an underground dance hall in a county town.

We were curious, so we prepared to sit down and take a look. The saleswoman walked towards us with a wine list. Suddenly, with a big step, a young Nepalese girl sat down on my left side, and her two feet in black high heels stepped over like compasses. She was dressed like a dancer, with black eyeliner, deep big eyes, and clothes that were too dim to see clearly. She took the initiative to talk to us. I asked her, are you a seller? She said no, she said she was a dancer, and she said, you are so beautiful!

She was a passionate fangirl the whole time. When she heard us say we were from China, she told us that she had danced in China last year. The dance hall was too noisy, so we had to put our mouths close to each other's ears to talk. She was shy, but she pinched my and my friend's faces and praised us for being pretty. (Although it looked offensive, it was actually very natural and enthusiastic at the time)

To be honest, the traditional music in the dance hall was too loud, and I couldn't hear what she was saying clearly. I asked her if we could go outside to talk, but she probably didn't hear me clearly, so she turned her head and said "OK" in a sisterly way, waved her hand, and got out of the sofa. But when we got to the door, she said pitifully that she was not allowed to go out. So we sat on the sofa closest to the door and added each other on Instagram. In front of us, under our noses, she liked my Instagram homepage crazily, and my phone screen popped up more than a dozen message boxes!

She asked us if we were free tomorrow, and she wanted to invite us to meet her outside. She stared at us intently, and since this bar was close to where we lived, we said OK. After we walked out of the bar, she continued to bombard us with Instagram, first recommending fun bars to us normally, and then... she asked us to go to her house tomorrow, and she said she would cook authentic Nepalese food for us. She said, "Don't forget to come to my home, otherwise I will not talk with you." Finally, we agreed to have dinner the next day.

When we agreed to meet, we were celebrating a birthday for a group of high school girls on the street for no apparent reason. We felt relieved after asking them for help. They said that she just wanted to be friends with you and had no ill intentions.

But this enthusiasm is beyond my imagination! The dialog box suddenly turned into a pink lips wallpaper, full of hey dear and hey beautiful, which made me sigh that it was so passionate and I was overwhelmed. I could even see the missed video calls when I woke up in the morning. She would learn Chinese to send me simple messages.

We were actually a little troubled before we set off. Mainly, we were worried about safety, because Google Maps showed us next to a green area, and I was worried that it was a mountain village and we would be sold... Then there was the question of whether the food would be drugged or something. Goumao and I had a tacit understanding that we had cultivated from years of playing around outside. When Goumao's partner firmly believed that this Nepalese girl was unreliable, we looked at each other and knew what each other was thinking. We felt that it was dangerous, but we also intuitively believed that this girl would not be a bad person... Because one of the three of us was a man, we finally set off late.

On the way here, I was always thinking, is it possible that there is no traffic light in this world? I didn't see a single traffic light in Kathmandu, and there were no lanes or zebra crossings on the road. Motorcycles, trucks, cars and pedestrians were shuttling back and forth in the middle of the road, and a little girl was held on her father's shoulders. Chaos, disorder and poverty are like a large-scale city game, but the world is still going on, safe and sound. Does the world always have another truth?

After we were ripped off by the online ride-hailing service, we were all tired and nervous when we arrived at the agreed location near her home. I was exhausted by the motorcycles and the huge noise of the city for half of the time in Kathmandu. We stood on the side of the road, surrounded by motorcycles speeding by, and I joked that it was a Wong Kar-wai movie.

After a long time, we were exhausted and waiting across the street from a cinema hall, searching for the girl who was coming to pick us up. I only saw her briefly last night, and I couldn't remember what she looked like. Suddenly, a girl ran towards us from across the street, small and like a rabbit. I was stunned, and I looked at Goumao and said, could it be her? - No way... We were both frozen in an instant.

Before she knew it, she had already crossed the crowded traffic and rushed to us diagonally, with a big smile on her face. "I am so excited" she said shyly, trying to suppress her overflowing joy.

——It was so fast and so shocking. Although this scene lasted only a few seconds, it seemed like the world was spinning. I looked sideways, and Goumao and I both froze in place, dumbfounded. This was a moment that I may never have again in my life. A strange Nepalese girl you have only met once ran towards you across the traffic. She was so light, like a bird swooping and spinning in the traffic; she was so calm, domineeringly commanding the vehicles to stop with her hands, like the king of this area.

It was only later that I realized that my heart, in the confusion and puzzlement at that time, felt an unprecedented "trust". That trust and kindness was so warm, with a strange color, not what I wanted, but it embraced me. I felt ashamed of my hesitation and doubt when I came here, and at the same time, I woke up completely as if I had been startled.

Unlike the black stockings and heavy eyeliner she wore in the dim bar the night before, she was now wearing the most ordinary white short-sleeved shirt, hot pants, slippers, a bunny headband, and a look of surprise. Her bare face looked like she had dark circles under her eyes, a wheat-colored South Asian complexion, and shortness of breath from running. When she stood in front of us, I realized how petite she was.

She said excitedly in English, I didn't expect you guys to come! Her smile was full of life, her eyes were black and shiny, and she was gleaming with joy. The word "smiling" was not enough to describe it. I was so surprised! I could hardly breathe at that moment and avoided her eyes. I even had a flash of regret that I should have taken a picture at that time!

sink

Anyway, we were here. We followed her through the shops on the street, first down and then up, climbing several narrow and dark stairs. The stairs were made of cement, and at the corner was a toilet with footprints and unknown stains. I didn't know where it led to. I asked cautiously, "Do you live alone?" She said, "Yes."

Finally we arrived at a rental house. Anisha motioned for us to go in and rest, and then she went to cook. Before we took off our shoes and entered, a young man walked out from behind the door curtain, and the alarm sounded.

When I actually entered the house, I was even more shocked! It was literally "barely furnished". Each wall had a color, light pink, light blue, pink purple... There was nothing in the room except two tapestries, a small bed, a sofa made of a mattress on the floor, and a lot of simple "carpets" made of foam cushions. It was square, but empty.

For the first two hours, we sat on the so-called "sofa" uncomfortably. Looking around the room, I was really worried whether the average income of Nepalese people was 600 RMB. They cut the watermelon we brought as a gift, and the fruit plate they sent had a vegetable smell.

We were hesitant to go. There was nothing valuable in the room, and more and more men came. One man sat in the corner, and another man lay on the bed smoking. They sat diagonally, like an arrow piercing through us. The three of us whispered to each other, and then we could only play with our phones in silence.

Anisha went out for a long time. For a while, there was no one in the room. We made fun of the situation and recorded a lot of nonsense videos, pretending that we were sold to a fraud group in northern Myanmar. Goumao's partner used Shanxi Datong dialect to imitate a man who was caught in the Golden Triangle, saying that he had accomplished nothing at the age of 30 and wanted to make money to buy a big house. We laughed in a very weird atmosphere, bursting out with improvisational comedy talents that we had never had before. What kind of psychological effect is this? I still don't understand it.

Then, after nearly two hours, the meal was not ready yet, and the two boys entered the room and stayed in the corner. The first moment that scared me tonight appeared:

Goumao patted me and whispered, "Look there! They seem to be doing drugs!" They were sitting cross-legged, turning over a silver stainless steel bowl with some white powder on it. One of them was using the flashlight of his cell phone to shine a light, while the other was holding a small, credit card-like object, constantly cutting and fiddling with it.

I took a look! It seemed real! Then I looked at them with a look that showed I could see through everything, and asked them with a casual smile, "What are you doing?" They just smiled and said nothing. Goumao said that I scared her by speaking directly, and she originally just wanted to remind me. But it is obvious that my courage will grow in extreme situations.

Mom, I've only seen people do white powder on TV, never in real life. All in all, we were increasingly convinced that this was a dangerous place, and we were ready to finish eating and leave.

At dinner time, there was no more sound of fire in the kitchen upstairs. Anisha served us Nepali dehl, only three portions. There were many dishes, including soup, vegetables, beans, and chicken. We were the only ones who had the most traditional Nepali formal dinner, with soup. They only had some leftovers and a little bit of shrimp crackers.

During dinner, the six of us gathered together and when Anisha introduced the two men as her childhood friends, we relaxed a little bit. From the moment she said they were undergroud rappers, the atmosphere became lively! Yes, there were really a lot of inexplicable things.

We asked to see their work, so a crude but decent YouTube music video started playing, and the atmosphere started to heat up with a series of “Wow!”s. Two ordinary skinny men in front of us were showing off the swag that hip-hop needed in the alley of the camera. Because they were rappers, it seemed that taking drugs became natural and easy to accept. (Smirk)

They asked us our names, cities and various information. We also asked their names. The more outgoing guy was called "OL", which roughly means "overdose", and the more shy guy was called Buddha. The second explosive point tonight was that after I asked them, they actually had no performance opportunities, so how to survive? The OL said, he: I don't want to lie to you, but you know drug dealers!

We, wow? I felt like I was in a Latin American fantasy story, a young drug dealer and her childhood friend, a dancer from an underground bar. It was like a dream, dizzy and exciting! I asked again, are there many young people taking drugs in Nepal? The office lady in a black and white zebra print jacket made a circle with her right hand and said, yes, a lot. Then I jokingly imitated him by making a big circle with my right arm and said, wow, this is all your area, so you are the captain! The office lady was amused by me.

After substituting them as drug dealers, Anisha's extraordinary enthusiasm and surprising state from yesterday to today also became traceable, and everything made sense!

As the topic deepened, we began to talk about each other's work and life. In some ways, none of the three of us had a job that was recognized by the mainstream society. One had just finished a working holiday in New Zealand and was unemployed, one was doing an unstable freelance job, and the other wanted to quit his online job at any time. The office lady glanced at Buddha, and I suddenly realized that they were the same.

OL told us that he wanted to work in Europe, where the income is almost ten times higher than in Nepal. When talking about this, the atmosphere became obviously heavy. Difficult employment, systematic poverty, and almost impossible hobbies and dreams are not only common and heavy topics that happen to us, but also to Nepalese youth, and even more serious.

While working in New Zealand, Goumao met many young people from developed parts of the world. She said, "They are all similar, friendly, energetic, and rarely troubled. But when I was with them, I always seemed to exude a smell. I later learned that this was a kind of East Asian nature, something that you need to repeatedly explain why it appears in you."

Talking with office ladies is much easier. We don’t even need to exchange background information. Just saying the words “working abroad” is enough to build a bridge of trust.

We are not alone in our sinking world.

Sway

After dinner, they invited us to the rooftop. I had heard about the rooftop culture of Nepalese youth. Climbing up to the dark rooftop, the house was on a small hillside, with a lush forest behind and swaying tree shadows under the moon, and Kathmandu in front of me with bright lights in the dark night.

It was a night in mid-March. For South Asia, the rainy season had not yet arrived, the temperature was like early summer, and the air visibility was as poor as ever. We took turns playing music on the rooftop while enjoying the breeze.

A simple stereo connected to a laptop, and a concrete rooftop. There are very few high-rise buildings in Canada, and the city is in full view. We deliberately communicated in Chinese, as if discussing some kind of tactics. As representatives of the youth culture of the two countries, we had a friendly exchange of young people's music tastes.

After I ordered Dou Jingtong and Fu Lu Shou for these two rappers, Gou Mao shouted to me in a childish way, "This is a duel among rappers! Who will you send to fight tonight!" The one who finally accepted the challenge was Cypher from Chengdu Group CDC! We danced on the rooftop while the two rappers were whispering and studying something. I was very excited and my heart was burning a little. Everyone started to relax and enjoy this moment. The music was so good that you would forget where you were in a trance.

OL and Buddha suddenly said that they wanted to sing a song for us, a melody rap, a new song that they had not released yet, and we would be the first listeners.

The OL in zebra print, with her left hand in her pocket and her right hand making hip-hop gestures, sang Nepali flow to the beat, her body swaying with the rhythm. Bubbha, wearing his grey pullover, sat on the edge of the rooftop. The OL's voice was very magnetic, her deep voice silkily following the changes in the beat's speed. This was a very chill rap, and although we didn't understand a word of the verse, we used the flashlight of our mobile phones to shake out a small spotlight, accompanied by the lights of Kathmandu.

"Me and my homie never never be sober~" the hook sounded. (How could this not be a reflection of their drug-taking life?)

Goumao and I hugged each other and said that we actually felt a little romantic. This was obviously a love song. Under the hazy moonlight, we shared the same uncertainty with the Nepalese youth. We sang a simple hook together. In such an intoxicating scene, the little bit of tenderness and sincerity swaying in the air was like the intersection of people's fiery eyes. There was no need to doubt it.

We hugged each other at last and took many group photos on the rooftop. A strange warmth rose in my heart and I smiled honestly, even though we didn't seem to have any deep communication. It was a magical thing that transcended language and everything unfamiliar, and made me feel such a strong love from the world.

Goumao gave Anisha the bracelet he brought from Lhasa. She said, "You are my first Nepali friend." They said, "You are also our first Chinese friend." In this place where material is obviously scarce, these Nepalese youths can give so much, and the friendship is so simple. A meal, a few words of broken English, and a song.

Back in the room, we sat on the mat and chatted again. Anisha talked about her friends in the city of Kathmandu who were very powerful and only wanted to play together when they had money, about how she got a tattoo on her arm for a boy she liked, about a girl who liked her blocking her, and about her childhood. The two boys were still sitting in the corner, tapping a piece of tin foil.

In the end, they still looked a little old. He smiled and explained to us again that the name Odinhell stands for overdose. He suddenly pulled out all their old photos and introduced us one by one to the small town where they grew up, their parents' occupations, their hobbies since childhood, and he talked endlessly, as if he wanted to tell us everything about his life.

We decided to leave. They finally held our hands and told us seriously that we were a family and asked us not to book a hotel next time and to stay at their home.

The taxi we took arrived downstairs. The three of them took turns pulling the door and warned the driver in Nepali not to charge us too much. Then they put their faces against the car window and said goodbye to us, saying that they were really happy today. It was like the kind of warm relatives from your hometown. The car finally started, and the narrow and short car was filled with rows of old-fashioned colorful decorations. Balls of wool and plastic pieces surrounded us.

We sang the brainwashing song "Me and my homie, we are never sober" again. Although no one was drinking, we all seemed to be drunk, intoxicated in a staggering night without caring about tomorrow.

Follow-up

After that night, we left Kathmandu and went to other cities in Nepal. Before leaving, in order to thank Anisha and her friends for their warm hospitality, we agreed to treat them to a meal at the best and most famous Chinese restaurant in Kathmandu when we return. (which is Chengdu Restaurant, which costs 30-40 RMB per person)

Anisha still continued to send greeting messages, asking where we were, how we were doing, and hoping that everything was okay with us.

One day, she suddenly sent me a message saying, "I don't have money to pay the rent this month. Can you lend me some money? I'll pay you back next month when I get paid." She said that the dance hall's revenue was very poor and the salary had not been paid yet. She wanted about 400 RMB, which was about half a month's salary for them.

Just as we finally decided to go to the dinner appointment that day, after some hesitation, Goumao and I split the money equally.

About half a month later, we returned to Kathmandu and asked them to have dinner together and return the money. Anisha said, OK.

——But she didn't show up in the end.

On the last day before leaving Nepal, Goumao went to get his hair permed. When we were standing on the roadside preparing to take a taxi, a man on a motorcycle suddenly parked his motorcycle across the road and walked straight towards us. He was determined to cross the traffic. When he came in front of us, he used his hands and feet to tell us that he was a singer! He was going to have a show in a bar that night and hoped that we could go.

I asked him where the bar was. He pointed to his motorcycle and said he would take me there. I said there were three of us, and he said, wait a minute. Then he went to a small shop next door.

By this time, the taxi we took had arrived. Amidst confusion and apologies, we got in and left.

We gradually got used to it. Stories like this always seem to happen in a country like Nepal.

*Author’s note: We must admit that there was an element of luck involved in this adventure, and we hope that everyone will be careful when traveling.