048｜Before "finding what you want"

When you are in your early thirties, most people around you will be more or less "confused" to some extent. Since I was young, I have been very envious of those who "know clearly what they want" . Now it seems that even if what "you want" is missing at the time is "correct", this sense of firmness is actually the is really admirable.

However, before "finding what I want" , I think the more important thing is to look directly at my "confusion" and the courage to face "Ah, I haven't figured out what I want" . Only in this way can I really start thinking about this problem. If you don’t face up to this problem, even if you want to face it, you will be immediately overwhelmed by the fear, anxiety and overwhelm, and eventually you have to hide in the inertia of your original life.

In fact, the state of "I have no idea what I want" is normal. Different stages of life, different life experiences, we are experiencing changes every moment. How can you think about what you want tomorrow? There is no fixed formula or answer in life, nor does it lie in the height and breadth of life, but in "elasticity" and "tenacity" .

From "not thinking about what you want" to "knowing clearly what you want" , there is another very critical step that no one mentions. That's the determination to "decide to figure out what you want."

Yes, if you want to figure out what you really need in your life, whether it’s life goals, relationships, or material pursuits, if you don’t make up your mind, you’ll never find the answer .

Deciding to figure out "what I want" is to put a stamp on myself in my mind. In ordinary life, you can live a "conscious" life. Anything big or small in life will never grow without this "awareness" .

You bought something you like, what makes you like it? is the function of this thing? Or appearance? Or satisfy your social desires? After eating delicious food, what makes you feel that you can't stop using chopsticks? Is it the cooking method? Or with the sauce? Is it the freshness of the ingredients? Meet a new friend, what makes you connect quickly? What have you gained from this relationship? Which social needs are being met? blah blah blah...

I think the reason why many people are confused is because they regard "don't know what they want" as an excuse to escape , so they make do with job hunting and starting a family, and finally, amid complaints and compromises, they walk away in despair life is over.

This determination to find out "what you want" is the choice of the brave and the choice of the wise.

"We're not on a stage we choose, acting is not a script we choose."

This is the famous saying of the philosopher Epictetus. How to understand this sentence? My understanding is: although the script and stage may be, it is very difficult to change at birth. But we can completely choose our "way of interpretation", everyone is "qualified" to have a wonderful interpretation of life, and is fully capable of doing it.

I will not discuss too much here, the method of "finding what you love", there are a lot of methodologies on the Internet that you can learn. Finally I want to end this post with a question:

How determined are you to "find what you want"?

May you become a better version of yourself and gain peace and love.

 About Korgi Chu (Grilled Chicken)
International Coach Federation ICF Certified Life Coach / Rainbow Coach 🌈
(Member number 009600446I) 👉🏻 The personal website is committed to promoting the "output" thinking system, and using "output" to promote the growth of more people.
Issues I care about are: gay issues, LGBT issues, personal growth, self-care,
Self-worth exploration, establishment of personal brand, career transition, efficient learning methods, financial freedom.
And everything that can make you a better version of yourself.
May everyone become a better version of themselves and gain peace and love.
Contact me: korgicoaching@gmail.com