"Do Nothing" Education

In an earlier reading session of "A Glimpse of Seguo", everyone discussed the article "The Strategy of Doing Nothing". Author Carolyn Shepard Fox is a parent and a midwife at Thur Valley Schools in the United States.

The author believes that childbirth is a wonderful and natural process of the body, and that caring for production is mainly about observing and waiting for a very natural process to happen, letting it go and intervening only when necessary. She described it as an art of "doing nothing", a process of seemingly "doing nothing".

The author's philosophy of midwifery is consistent with that of education. She trusts children very much, and is also very hands-off. Her two daughters are studying at the Seir Valley School in the United States. However, along the way, she also experienced all kinds of doubts and struggles, and her inner fear drove her to ask herself, "I have let go for so long, should I intervene? The worrying and nagging part of me is questioning myself, fearing that I am a bad mother. Maybe waiting and letting go is the wrong choice?"

Parents who take the road of self-education in Segu must have felt this kind of fear and doubt. What everyone is most afraid of is often the accusation that "I did not fulfill my parental responsibilities". In traditional social values, "doing nothing" to children is like neglecting to take care of them, like not providing them with good environmental conditions, and like exploiting their education.

However, is "doing nothing" in Segu really negligence and ignoring anything?

Looking back on my experience of practicing Segu education over the years, I deeply feel that in the process of "letting go", "doing nothing", "going with the flow" and "doing nothing", what I practice and play is better than "teaching children". "More profound power.

1. Trust

What is behind this "doing nothing" is trust in children, not ignoring them.

Parents often say to their children, "If you can prove to me that you have done something, then I will trust you." This kind of conditional exchange that requires proof first is distrust.

Trust is the confidence to believe without evidence. For example, Segu believes that children have enormous learning abilities and that they want to grow up to be capable people. And this kind of trust in children comes from trust in yourself and trust in life. If a person does not trust himself and life very much, "letting go" and "doing nothing" will only bring infinite fear and anxiety, making it difficult to practice the Segu educational model. Trust cannot be faked. Only by being aware of your inner self, facing your fears honestly, and connecting with the source of life, can you live in trust. For me, practicing trusting children is more relevant and more tangible than taking any class.

As the author stated at the end of the article: "When we let go, we give the child the space to let it go. Practitioners have meditated for many years to get a glimpse of this emptiness of surrender, and growth takes place in this emptiness. As a parent, a midwife , gardener, the challenge of being a human being to decide when to step in and when to let go is to be constantly aware of your most basic emotions.”

2. Giving and protecting space

It is often said in the field of spiritual healing that the truly outstanding therapists often do not rely on specific counseling skills, but whether they can guard a space for the client (holding the space), be present, and let go of their own projections, Allow the client to make the healing happen at their own pace in that space. Moreover, great therapists do not take all the credit for healing themselves, but believe that they are only a conduit and that the true healing power lies within the client.

This is the same as Segu's "do nothing". This kind of "doing nothing" is actually giving children space, guarding this space and letting them play. Giving space means that we will not impose our own values and aspirations on our children, but it is not the same as being absent from their lives, but we will stay behind our children and become their safe base, where we can accompany, listen, and be there. Assistance when needed. And when children learn and grow, we humbly give credit to children, believing that they have exerted their natural strength.

3. Careful observation

Neglecting parents are often ignorant of the inner state of their children. In Segu’s letting go and letting things go, we understand the child’s personality, inner state, emotional needs, etc. through careful observation. What we observe is not just the child's superficial behavior, test scores, and how many awards he has won, but also the transformation and growth that cannot be measured. For example, how well do children know themselves? What emotions does the child suppress? How does the child overcome the difficulties in life at his own pace? When do children need autonomy and when do they need our assistance?

It's always easiest to criticize a child's behavior. As long as they don't meet our expectations, we make a judgment call and ask them to change. If they don't change, say they have a problem. How convenient. But in Segu's "do nothing", we are constantly getting to know the reasons behind the child's behavior. What needs and difficulties does he have? Only by careful observation can we see their invisible progress and know when and how to respond to them.

4. Equal communication

In the process of trusting, giving space, and observing carefully, there will naturally be a lot of equal communication with children. Equal communication means that when we communicate with children, we do not put them in a second-class position, but treat them as people worthy of respect. We will communicate the feelings, needs and boundaries of both parties and discuss solutions.

But since most of us grew up in traditional families, children must obey adults, and our habitual communication mode is often authoritative top-down, full of criticism, lessons, control, and teaching. It is a profound knowledge to communicate well and equally with children.

Traditional education advocates that adults should "do" a lot, and they should be applauded if they teach children in all aspects. However, in the midst of a series of prophecies and subconscious expectations and teachings, children are desperately trying to behave as their parents want them to be, often not feeling that their parents are a safe base to fully accept themselves, or that many children are in I live for my parents, I don't know what it's like to be myself.

Segu's "inaction" towards children seems to be "doing nothing", but I really think that this practice of inaction has allowed me to establish a closer relationship with the children, and has taught me not to put my life The regrets are projected on the children, and they can be truly supported and accepted as who they are.