Quick Reading for Commuting | "We Should All Be Feminists" and "Addicted to Men's Words"

In the short few days before the Chinese New Year, the news of "Mother giving birth to eight children in Xuzhou" attracted attention in China, but the reaction on Twitter could be described as an uproar. First of all, the victim has long been called the "Mother of Eight Children in Xuzhou" on Chinese social media, although it is suspected that the victim is a girl named Li Ying who was abducted from Sichuan. Such a title is really heartbreaking. If she is really Li Ying, it’s hard to imagine how her parents, former friends, and classmates would react after recognizing her. It’s too painful. She lost her name, her freedom, her teeth, and became a sex slave. The offender was protected by various authorities and authorities, and it was unbearable to read. Secondly, the controversy she sparked reached foreign media and the video was spread. However, why are many intellectuals still discussing whether this matter should fall into the category of women’s rights or human rights? When I saw the video, I just felt angry and sad. In 2022, there are still such evils in that land, systemic evils, and they cannot be said or talked about because they want to celebrate the New Year happily. In the Year of the Tiger, it would be better for the tigers in the mountains to rush out and bite the damned people to death.

This tragic incident touched many hearts in many places. The Chinese New Year’s “pressure for marriage” and “pregnancy” are one of them, and the patriarchal oppression that women’s rights have been fighting for is the second. So, I put down the book "Addicted to Men's Words" in my hand, and I thought of the two feminist books I read in January.

The Nigerian female writer Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie was mentioned before in the article " Home Between Vancouver and Hong Kong" , but she is probably more famous for the booklet she often sees in the train station bookstore - " We Should All Be Feminists". Naturally, this is a book about women's rights, but I prefer her other book about women's rights - " Dear Ijeawele, or a Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions ", which will be discussed later in "Tiger Reading, Not Food" Introduced in "Zi".

These two books analyze women's rights and also talk about the systemic problems of patriarchal society. Two of my favorite views in "We Should All Be Feminists":

1. The role of language

 “The language of marriage is often a language of ownership, not a language of partnership.”

This is what the words "marry" and "marry" mean. The word "marry" sounds like fetch, which is a sense of ownership rooted in the language, not as good as "marry". Yes, how you word your words matters too. Because language becomes more and more natural when learned, many times we don’t think about the feelings behind the language. For example, a mother would say to her daughter when she is "inducing birth", "I'm still waiting for you to give me a grandson!" Or when "urging marriage in disguise," she would say, "I want to see if you can give me a grandson." Find such a handsome son-in-law!" The "give" here is actually the most uncomfortable. I know that many parents talk like this, and if we hear it too much, we will become accustomed to it. In fact, it is not the case. The word "give" directly strips away the daughter's feeling as a (female) person. The things the daughter does, such as "giving birth to a child" " or "get married" have all become "give her a grandson" and "find her a son-in-law". There is also a saying that "such and such a woman gave birth to a son to such and such a man" (it seems that the son does not belong to this woman) ? ), women feel directly being instrumentalized or having their individuality ignored. It might be better to say, "I look forward to your future children, who will be my grandchildren." Similarly in the Xuzhou sex slave case, the experience and inhuman abuse she suffered were not mentioned again and again, and instead the focus was on "she is the mother of eight children", while the rapist and prisoner was the "father of eight children". The degree of twist is indescribable.

2. The battle between women’s rights and human rights

 “Feminism is, of course, part of human rights in general—but to choose to use the vague expression human rights is to deny the specific and particular problem of gender. It would be a way of pretending that it was not women who have, for centuries, been excluded."

This dispute is similar to the situation where people say All Life Matters in the face of Black Live Matters. No woman in any country can deny the oppression that women have suffered over thousands of years of human history, and this is also a part of human rights, a very important part.

And the book "Men Explain Things to Me"🤣 is called "Men Explain Things to Me". It was a very depressing book to read. Starting from the first chapter "The Longest War", it talks about all kinds of oppression, abuse and rape of women at home and abroad in ancient and modern times. It’s challenging to think about the violence that women have faced over thousands of years in the numbers that the author lists, and more importantly, it’s not unique to any system or era, but it’s always been like this. As I read it, I felt a sense of desolation and powerlessness.

When marriage equality is mentioned in Chapter 2, the author talks about what she sees as the resistance to marriage equality. Many conservatives actually agree more with the unequal relationship between men and women in marriage. Same-sex marriage will break the "balance" that men and women have maintained for thousands of years in the form of "partners", which is unacceptable in the eyes of many people with vested interests. Tolerance has changed, and for this reason, many people must define the role of "who plays the man and who plays the woman" between homosexuals, as if this can be understood.

I don’t particularly like the feeling this book gives people. Maybe it’s my own fault. It’s still hard to bear after reading so much oppression and violence against women. I suddenly feel so lucky, but at the same time I feel that this feeling is the problem in the first place. , so at a loss what to do. It wasn't until the author talked about Woolf and Susan Sontag that he softened a bit. Woolf's reflections in her works are exciting for women. In "Kill the Angel in the Room" she ends with a young woman and a bottle of ink at the table. After getting rid of all the lies and hypocrisy in her body, she can fully get in touch with herself. But, what is "herself" after all? What is "woman"? I don’t know, and you definitely don’t know either... Maybe this is the dilemma of women. After being separated from those imposed symbols, roles, identities, and functions, what is left? Does anyone know?

Because of my continued donations, I received a letter titled "Women's Weapons" - the little girl actually held a pencil in her hand. It is a symbol, it symbolizes the hand that can write, the mouth that can speak, and the clenched fist is freedom and empowering! But, is this really the case? In fact, there is still a long way to go. They need our support, and at the same time, they also need our pen to touch that dark, long, so-called "traditional" and seemingly unchallengable area.

Finally, I excerpt this passage for your memory.

 “Feminism is an endeavor to change something very old, widespread, and deeply rooted in many, perhaps most, cultures around the world, innumerable institutions, and most households on Earth—and in our minds, where it all begins and ends.” 

Feminism is the effort to change ideas that have been very old, pervasive, and ingrained in many or most of the world's cultures, countless institutions, and most families on the planet. This concept begins in our minds and will end here.