practice quiet

In early April, I returned home to the north,
Every time I see my family,
Emotions that were originally stable can become easily affected.
Sometimes soaring, sometimes falling.
Back and forth a few times, the whole person seems to be hollowed out,
The energy is devoured completely,
Need to let go for a few days.
will be fully repaired,
Find peace of mind.

Probably the previous suite in the middle,
Most of the time by myself,
In addition, men often work overtime,
Emotions will naturally not fluctuate too much.
No wonder every time I go back to my northern home,
will be maladaptive.

In the first two weeks, because of the different positions among the family members,
And there were some heated arguments.
Although the protagonist of some events is not me,
But seeing the scene of the elder being scolded by the younger generation out of control,
Still sad.

One day, the family endured the anger all day,
Finally, because of a little thing,
I smashed the bowl and chopsticks in my hand,
Looking at the meals that fly out,
I can't help but think of the Japanese movie "Poem of Masochism" I watched before,
As soon as the male protagonist Hiroshi Abe hears something unpleasant, he will turn the table,
The director also presented the thrown dishes and dinner tables in slow motion.
At the time, I just thought it was quite humorous and funny.

until you are in it,
I just found out about this crazy move.
It turned out that it would scare others stupid, and even be overwhelmed.

I am frightened,
But I can't help but comfort myself,
This is the daily life of the northern home.
just didn't expect,
In the end I cried uncontrollably.

I think it must be that I have accumulated too many bad emotions.
So the body will suddenly switch to detox mode,
Force out those negative emotions,
It got much better after that.

I read an article earlier,
I just started thinking,
I'm not actually an emotional empath.
Otherwise, how could it be so easy to sway with the emotions of others.

Exaggeratedly,
I just watch tearjerking news and movies,
Tears were rushing like a faucet, and it was hard to control.
But there is also the benefit of
Even if I cry so hard,
let me watch some funny show or movie,
Immediately shift your emotions and laugh out loud.
I really don't know if this is good or bad?

Later, I will deliberately avoid some sad news,
Because I know too well that my heart is fragile,
It is easy to fall into some situations,
In order to keep calm,
Still have to filter what is in front of you.

Ahem, I accidentally digress again,
As for the relationship with the family,
Over the years, I've been thinking,
Why do similar incidents happen again and again?
Why does everyone have to express their opinions in such a pompous way?
Why not try to communicate calmly?
What could be better?
Maybe I'm not good at dealing with this dilemma of constant cutting and chaos,
After trying for a few years, I still can't solve the fetters between the family members.

Recently, I decided to stop being the coordinator,
Anyway, everyone is used to communicating in such a scolding mode.
Why should I torture myself?
Besides, I'm really tired of this feeling of powerlessness.

Even if the problem is not solved,
That's something everyone has to face.
I just do what I think is right.
It's so hard to change other people's minds.
At this time, I am envious of those who are good at persuasion.
Just a few words,
It can help the parties to change their original views.

I read a book "Satyr's Dialogue Exercises" earlier,
I deeply realize that communication is an extremely difficult knowledge.
The author Li Chongjian believes that as long as some correct questions are raised,
It can help the other party to find the psychological factors hidden behind those behaviors.
Because I found it myself,
more willing to change their own thinking and behavior,
It can be said that it is a very magical communication skill!

The book also mentions some real cases.
Several episodes are almost like situations that happen in life,
It creates a strong sense of substitution unconsciously.

In the past, I only cared about expressing my thoughts,
Or want to change the other person's mind,
After reading it, I found out that, then, it can be said,
question, you can ask,
The opponent will not be defensive.
You can even feel the questioner's willingness to understand.
This is the true power of words!

However, before I have practiced this profound kung fu,
or shut up first,
Do what you think is right!

By the way, this is not actually a post-reading review.
It's just that the old lady is thinking about it, ha!