sex

1. Sex and love are essentially two different things: the former is about the body, while the latter is about the spirit.

2. People's pursuit of the unity of sex and love may be because people pursue in sex. In addition to desire, there is more connection with the lover, harmony, being accepted by the whole body, being able to completely forget time and loneliness, and fully experience love and being loved , The peak feeling of being fully immersed in it.

3. However, the pursuit of "sex and love unity" may also be because we have never been educated that sex and love can be separated.

4. The media, schools, families and religions have hardly provided us with the option of "separation of sex and love". We have been educated (brainwashed) in every way.

5. There is a sociological theory that explains that this is because social continuity requires stability, and sex can easily destabilize it.

6. Sex can suddenly occur in any social relationship—bosses and subordinates, relatives and friends, even mothers and children— and the original social structure can be instantly disintegrated by sexual relations.

7. Therefore, the more totalitarian a country is, the more oppressive it is.

8. It can completely suppress sex and hinder human reproduction.

9. The solution society came up with was marriage.

10. Restricting sexual behavior to the marital relationship, the husband and wife possess each other's sexual desires, which can greatly restrict the extraneous issues of "sex".

11. Therefore, the more totalitarian the country is, the more it must encourage marriage and hinder divorce, for example, the cooling-off period for divorce.

12. Marriage binds "love, sex, and childbirth", three completely different needs, into one.

13. Society fixes marriage as an institution, stabilizes it as a structure, and sells it to individuals.

14. When we suddenly discover that we can have sex with someone we don’t love, want to have children but don’t want to get married, love doesn’t mean we can get married, and get married but don’t have love, we suddenly discover that, “Love, sex, birth, Marriage" can be dissolved.

15. The process of disintegration is often full of bloody, unspeakable pain.

16. The horror of brainwashing, or "ideological violence" is that when we feel pain, we seldom question the problems of the system itself, and we always look for reasons from ourselves.

sex and women

17. When totalitarianism meets patriarchy, women suffer greatly from the consequences of sexual repression.

18. In traditional society, women are either regarded as belongings by men, and their bodies are occupied through marriage; or they are regarded as commodities by men, and their bodies are purchased through money.

19. Now it is the 21st century, but female Durban and Shouzhen Temple still pop up from time to time, and virginity complex is still a hot topic.

20. When the word "sexual desire" comes out of a Chinese woman's mouth, she will be seen as brave, open, or frivolous, lewd, but not normal.

21. When a woman says "I want to have sex," she's not a slut, she's not trying to impress, she's not trying to get weird looks and nasty looks.

22. She said "I want to have sex" in the same mood as saying "I want to eat".

23. It's all just a physiological reaction.

24. However, under the patriarchal system, the most basic physiological reactions of women have never been accepted, recognized, respected, or fully discussed.

25. For example, male masturbation has several "nicknames" such as "job the plane", "shoot the gun", "handjob" and "play J", but female masturbation is still a taboo that cannot be mentioned.

26. For another example, from time to time, I hear female friends around me say "I'm afraid that if I give it to him the first time, he won't cherish me anymore".

27. Every time I hear such remarks, I am filled with anger.

28. What I am angry about is the violence against women by the patriarchy, so violent that women also start to be self-violated by ideology.

29. Under the patriarchal system, women are never given the right to initiate sexual desire, and are only regarded as the projection of male desire.

30. Under the patriarchal system, women do not seek pleasure from sex at all, but only regard sex as a sacrifice, and regard themselves as sacrifices to men.

31. Under the patriarchal system, women's sex is for sacrifice, dedication, cooperation, obedience, transaction, and business, but not for happiness.

32. Those women who are happy because of sex are Pan Jinlian, sluts, and sinners.

33. By shaping "sluts" and by stigmatizing, ashaming, and criminalizing women's sexuality, patriarchy controls women's desires, and then controls women.

34. I have no intention of creating antagonism between men and women, let alone criticizing men. I just want to state a structural injustice.

35. Men, too, suffer the consequences of injustice.

36. The recognition of female sexuality is the liberation of all human beings.

37. When women are not ashamed of sex, when women's "want" can be recognized, sex can be regarded as self-satisfaction, not a sacrifice of "whom I gave it to", so that " Sex" as a tool for emotional blackmail is good for men, isn't it?

38. When women are not ashamed of sex, they can be more active in the sexual process, and the quality of sex will be greatly improved. This is good for men, isn't it?

39. Girls, enjoy sex. Explore your body. Pleasure is innocent, lovemaking is justified.

40. Girls, try sex toys. Men are to sex toys what tractors are to Ferraris when it comes to making women orgasm.

sex disintegration

41. The marriage rate is getting lower and lower, the divorce rate is getting higher and higher, open relationships, hook-up software, love in bars, pregnancy out of marriage, more and more forms of love... "love, sex, childbirth , "Marriage" loosening is almost an irreversible trend in modern society.

42. This trend has somewhat liberated women. For example, on social software, women have never been given the right to "stare" and "select" men.

43. On social software, women are encouraged to get rid of the concept of chastity. They are no longer just the sex objects of men, but become the subjects who can actively initiate sexual invitations to others.

44. Social software also makes women's sexuality no longer imprisoned in the marriage system or love relationship.

45. Even so, the social acceptance of men's "separation of sex and love" is much higher than that of women.

46. ​​Women still suffer from the slut-shaming of hook-ups.

47. Even encountered online or offline sexual harassment and sexual violence.

48. At the level of thinking, "wanting to have sex" and "wanting to eat" are both physiological reactions, but at the level of action, for women , the former is much more dangerous than the latter.

49. Men have more physical and strength advantages than women, which makes it easier for men to injure women during sex.

50. Besides, it is always the woman who bears the greatest risk of sex—unplanned pregnancy.

51. Many female friends around me have bought a pregnancy test stick from the supermarket in extreme panic, nervousness, and anxiety after having sex, opened it in the toilet nervously, and did not completely relax until they saw a bar.

52. Men can hardly empathize with this fear.

53. In view of the natural differences in the body structure of men and women, I cannot agree with the extreme feminist position that "men and women are the same", but I agree with the reason why they put forward this position-equal rights of men and women.

54. It was a group of radical feminists in history who invented the contraceptive pill at the risk of breaking the law, committing crimes, going to jail, and losing their lives, which greatly reduced the risk of female sexual practice and liberated women to a great extent.

55. But the female contraceptive pill—the most successful method of contraception available today—is still a product of patriarchy, because it is still a way to seek contraception from women.

56. If it is said that men are naturally more sexually motivated than women, and male desires are more recognized, isn’t it true that male contraceptives can increase the overall contraceptive probability of human beings?

57. The irony is that there are many brands of contraceptive pills for women, but no contraceptive pills for men.

58. Research says it's because male birth control pills have side effects. The problem is that female birth control pills have never had fewer side effects—depression, depression, loss of libido.

59. But women have to - they have no better way.

60. When it comes to contraception, women are forced into a situation where "the two harm each other and take the lesser" .

61. Unless women can completely dominate reproduction, they will never gain the same freedom as men.

love

62. Love needs the participation of others, which makes love have an essential "otherness".

63. Given the otherness of being in love, you cannot completely control what other people say or do.

64. Given the otherness of love, you cannot determine your value in the eyes of others. In other words, no matter how much you meet the "standards of success defined by the world", you may be replaced in love.

65. To choose love is to choose a more adventurous and even out-of-control life.

66. Love is like venture capital. The risk of venture capital is that the principal may be overwhelmed. The risk of love is that all contributions may not be recognized by the other party.

67. This means that all sacrifices in love—time, energy, emotion, money—are for nothing. You don't have to pay more to get the same return.

68. So people have to have a basic disk other than love. No matter how sweet the love is, it is necessary to discharge a life that does not require the participation of the other party and a happy way independent of the other party during the relationship.

69. The basic plate can guarantee that the critical attack of out-of-control love will not destroy itself and deprive the enthusiasm of life.

70. Many times, quarrels between heterosexual couples are not due to problems between the two, but may be rooted in gender differences.

71. True love between opposite sexes is based on the full understanding and respect of gender differences between both parties.

72. This requires a lot of experience with the opposite sex.

73. No matter for men or women, the process of recognizing the opposite sex is full of disappointment and disillusionment.

74. For women, the first step to correctly understand men is to turn off all idol dramas.

75. Dedicated, affectionate, rich, considerate, and handsome men are basically extinct in reality.

76. After all, most men can't even be "specialized".

77. This has nothing to do with social evaluations such as their appearance, height, figure, wealth, status, etc.

78. In male thinking, liking apples and oranges does not conflict.

79. If there is no social discipline and moral criticism, men will not feel that there is something wrong with "playing".

80. If you don’t spend money, maybe you dare not do it, maybe you do it secretly, maybe you are too lazy to do it, maybe there are more important things to do.

81. The contradiction between men and women about love and possession has not ceased since Zeus Hera in ancient Greece.

82. In fact, a woman cannot possess a man, even if she is her wife and girlfriend.

83. A man cannot possess a woman, even if he is her husband or boyfriend.

84. Because people are people, people cannot possess.

85. In love, what you have is just an opportunity to get in touch with each other physically and mentally.

86. What you lose is just this opportunity.

87. Since you have never owned it, how can you talk about losing it.

88. Since you have never owned it, why waste time on possession.

89. Since you have never owned it, it is mediocre to prevent cheating, prevent mistresses, be jealous of your ex, and worry about losing.

90. Specificity is the result of mutual agreement and mutual satisfaction, not a requirement.

91. Possession and control are a waste of time, it is better to use it for learning, growth, and self-improvement.

92. Persevering in commitment in love is like asking for a sword in a boat.

93. The reason why the promise is moving is that it is like the water moon in the mirror, which will break when touched.

94. Never give up your own accumulation because of any promises made by the other party.

95. Commitments may be false, but one thing is more likely to be true - the quality of time you spend together.

96. Whether being together is growing or consuming, and whether we can coexist reciprocally, equally, and happily are the essential criteria for judging whether an intimate relationship is good or bad.

97. Even if there is no intimacy, don't have an intimacy that consumes each other.

98. The temptation in love is tantamount to lifting a rock and shooting yourself in the foot.

99. Human nature is fragile, it is better to care than to test.

100. Not asking the other party questions such as "Who did you save when your mother and I fell into the water" is a basic respect for yourself and the other party's IQ.

101. My distaste for "Survival Questions and Answers" comes from the fact that women turn their lovers into actors, turn true love into a self-deceiving drama, and turn the originally beautiful intimate relationship into an infinite prisoner's dilemma.

102. Whether you are a man or a woman, you can be strong without desire in a relationship. The less desire you have for your partner's physical, financial, financial, status, and emotional worth, the more secure your position will be.

103. True love is not love because of need, but need because of love.

104. Some people can use relationships as a means of obtaining resources, but what does that have to do with love?

105. I don't believe in shortcuts in the world; I don't give others the control of my own life; I don't want to compromise the purity, enthusiasm, and brilliance of true love, the sincerity of two hearts when they meet honestly, and the selflessness of giving and receiving Great - not at all. True love is priceless, priceless.

106. In love, you can get what you believe in.

107. All relationships end in separation, failure is destiny, but staying together is luck.

108. Since relationship is not a means to obtain resources, it has a doomed ending of separation, and all the efforts in the relationship may be irretrievable, why are you still in love?

109. This question is like "since people will always die, why should they live".

110. Everyone has a different answer.

111. No matter what the answer is, being alive is an experience, and falling in love is the most wonderful, rare, highest-concentration, and most violent peak experience in this experience, and it is an extremely lucky event with a small probability.

112. Love allows us to understand ourselves and others, and to see clearly the many weaknesses of human nature - selfishness, desire, fear, jealousy, control, worrying about gains and losses...

113. Love also allows us to transcend the weaknesses of human nature, learn tolerance, acceptance, selflessness, put the needs of the other party above ourselves, and gain divinity in a moment.

114. In the interaction of relationships, we can recognize the bottom line of ourselves or the other party, and realize that it is impossible to possess, grasp, and control another person.

115. Recognize that even in the closest relationship, there is no 100% understanding.

116. After thoroughly understanding the loneliness of being a human being, a moment of sympathy and mutual understanding is so precious.

117. This is probably why loving sex is so attractive.

118. Sex with love, or sexual union, is a ritual in love that transcends loneliness, isolation, and closure.

119. Sex with love is a peak experience full of passion, understanding, and respect, and to feel the gift of the universe through the other party.

120. Who wouldn't want to have sex with their lover day and night?

marriage

121. Attending a wedding when I was young felt sweet, but now attending a wedding feels tragic.

122. Is marriage the result of mutual love? no.

123. There is only one result of falling in love: in love, or not in love anymore.

124. How can a paper certificate tie a person's heart?

125. The trivialities of marriage are more likely to kill love.

126. To maintain long-term attractiveness in marriage, you need to grow yourself, provide emotional support to the other party continuously, and create freshness for the other party's body and soul in trivial daily life.

127. It is wisdom that one person can do it; it is luck that two people can do it and meet each other.

128. Love is human nature, and maintaining love requires transcending human nature.

129. So every time I see people ask “how can people engage in extramarital affairs”, I really want to ask back, “how do people refrain from engaging in extramarital affairs?”

130. Of course, the reason for marriage, besides love, may also be profit.

131. Occasionally the two do not conflict.

132. Sometimes interests are even stronger than love.

133. But happiness or not is another matter.

134. There are also people who get married because they want to eliminate loneliness and gain a sense of security.

135. But the reality is that people who hope to resolve loneliness through others, hope to gain a sense of security through marriage, and hope to solve their own problems through the external environment are often disappointed.

136. On the contrary, people who clearly know that choosing marriage is choosing a more complicated life, are willing to take on more responsibilities, and are mentally prepared for possible failures are more likely to have good results.

137. There are also people who marry for children and retirement.

138. Indeed, in a social environment with an imperfect welfare system, non-marriage will be decisively inconvenient in terms of child rearing and old-age care.

139. But why does society not focus on solving inconveniences, but instead finds ways to urge unmarried people to marry?

140. Is this a top-down, social, structural laziness?

141. Marriage may not change the relationship qualitatively, but fertility will.

142. To choose to have children is to build an irreversible and indestructible "blood" bond.

143. With a child, whether divorced or not, the other party will always be the child's father or mother.

144. Blood relationship is the most difficult relationship to loosen in social networks.

145. In most marriages, it is not so much that the two sexes have to raise children together because of love, but it is better to say that because of the need to raise children together, both sexes must have love.

146. No matter how complex and diverse the social relationship is, the blood-related family is the most difficult and stable kind of relationship.

147. This is probably the reason why so many people know that marriage is false, have repeatedly witnessed and even experienced marriage failure, but still grasp at this life-saving straw.

148. So marriage is still the ultimate form of relationship between the sexes.

149. The marriage system is still the main structure of society, and its functionality is difficult to be replaced in a short time.

150. As long as marriage remains the mainstream, those who do not get married will be repeatedly asked "why not get married".

151. As long as childbearing remains the mainstream, those who do not bear children will be repeatedly asked "why don't they want children?"

152. If you choose marriage and childbirth, you will naturally enter the mainstream discourse system of society.

153. Regardless of whether it is Chinese or foreign, family harmony and having children have always been one of the mainstream success criteria.

154. To take the road less traveled requires greater courage, takes greater risks, and has fewer successful cases.

155. But I still feel that there is no so-called public road or small public road in one's life, only the road you want, the road that makes you happy.

156. Regardless of men or women, do not get married because of the so-called social clock, the urging of people around you, or the eyes of others.

157. I don't comment on those who step into marriage in a daze; I respect those who see marriage clearly and still want to try bravely.

women and marriage

158. In a patriarchal society, the value of women in society is never equal to the value of women in both sexes.

159. The advantages of men in society and in the relationship between men and women are almost the same: career, status, resources, knowledge, education and so on.

160. However, the advantages of women in society can easily become disadvantages in the relationship between men and women: no matter how successful you are, if you are not young and beautiful, you will be regarded as an obstacle to leaving the single.

161. The social value of women—higher education, career success, resource advantage, profound thinking, etc.—is almost not recognized under the patriarchal system.

162. There is even the term "leftover women", which completely denies all social value of women and regards the status of marriage and love as the only criterion for evaluating women.

163. “No matter how much a woman achieves, as long as she doesn’t marry and have children, she is a failure.”

164. How can women be happy in such a context?

165. Are men also under greater social pressure? Even if a man is sincere and kind, as long as he has no car or house, he is not worthy of marrying a wife and having children—is there such a tragedy?

166. This situation may be improved when men are not subject to harsh social pressures and women are not viewed as reproductive machines.

167. It is emphasized again that women's voice against patriarchy has never only liberated women, but also liberated men.

168. It is also said that this is because men naturally like young, good-looking women who are in the best reproductive period.

169. But the problem is that women never live for the liking of men.

170. For many women who have careers and spiritual lives, marriage and even intimate relationships have never been a must.

171. What's more, when a woman finds out that housework such as sacrificing herself, contributing to the family, raising children, and caring for the elderly is not recognized and rewarded at all, and is very likely to be irreparable, how can she put all her eggs in one basket and enter the extreme cost of making mistakes? What about Gao's marriage?

172. The root of encouraging marriage and childbearing lies in the improvement of women's status and the protection of women's rights and interests.

173. Instead of creating fear and anxiety for women that it is difficult to marry after the age of thirty.

174. Women also please do not fall into such traps.

175. Whether you are twenty, thirty, forty, fifty, or seventy, you always have a choice. As long as you want.

176. Even if you have nothing to choose, you can still choose to face the attitude of "nothing to choose".

177. This attitude is the wisdom of growth, and it is the most precious thing that the years have brought us.

178. Sometimes it is nice to think about growing up, maturing, getting old, and gaining the wisdom that comes with it.

179. When we were young, we were naive, arrogant, arrogant, and hurt others. After suffering a lot and shedding tears, we finally understood the truth— how can such a precious gift be devalued because of other people's eyes?

180. The beauty of time has long penetrated into life and refreshed the soul, so why worry about whether others will appreciate it?

181. What's more, the most precious thing in life is never a piece of paper, but a happy, happy, upward and positive state of life, isn't it?

182. Does building a family and raising children make you happy?

183. If yes, please respect what you want after thinking about the price.

184. If not, do not compromise yourself under pressure.

185. When being kidnapped by the traditional concept of marriage and love, ask yourself, why am I here? How many dreams do I have? What am I trying to accomplish? How can we sacrifice ourselves for what others see? How can we give our time and our lives to relationships and people who just make do? Should we spend this precious, short, and fleeting life bravely and fearlessly?

Included in the compilation #intimate relationship

4

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