Memories about music (25)

twenty five

In 1998, I got a job offer in San Diego, and then drove across the United States, returning to the West Coast after a 5-year absence. When I left, I drove a car that was overstuffed, and when I came back, I drove a Jeep that was overstuffed, and the extra space was filled with LP records.

Arriving in a new city, with a lot of new things to get used to, my writing slowed down. But the bigger reason may be that I was a little tired. During that time, I had to go to work during the day, and I could only write at night and on weekends, so I spent almost all of my spare time and lived like a reporter. In addition, I don't have much confidence in such a huge book, and I almost gave up several times.

At this time, Wang Yipei came to visit his relatives in Los Angeles, and I drove to see him immediately. We talked deeply all night, and Lao Wang's encouragement gave me courage again.

Because of a love affair, I moved to Silicon Valley in 2000 and worked for a year in a biotech company. A year later the love was gone and I moved back to San Diego. Thanks to my roommate Sharon for accepting me again, I lived back in La Jolla again, and finished writing the last few chapters of "Rebellion from the Folk" in the big house that we rented together, only 300 meters from the sea.

In the summer of 2001, Sharon introduced me to the Philadelphia Folk Song Festival. That experience left the deepest impression in my life. I even wrote it into this book. I won’t say much here. Let's see for yourself.

Shortly after returning from Philadelphia, 9/11 happened. Shocked, I went to Chinese websites and was surprised to find that both Zhang Guangtian and Wang Xiaofeng were cheering for the terrorists. I remember that I was dizzy with anger at that time, because these two people have always been my best friends in China and have always supported my writing, but their performance on this matter made me feel unbelievable, I even I thought about breaking up with them.

During that time, I really struggled in my heart, desperately trying to find reasons for their behavior. Then I thought of the reason: Maybe the US government is really not what I thought it was? Maybe it's because I didn't experience the bombing of the Yugoslav embassy? Even, maybe they are acting, there is something hidden that I don't know? In short, I really tried my best to suppress my anger and forgive them for the time being.

In the midst of this series of entanglements, on November 11, 2001, I finished writing the preface, and this book was officially completed. Counting, there are nearly 700,000 words!

Probably because I didn't know what to do, I didn't show anyone the manuscript before it was finished. After I wrote it, I passed it on to several friends, and soon I received a reply from Wang Xiaofeng, who revised the first few chapters of the book word for word. I remember that when I saw the Word document covered in red letters from him, I was speechless for a long time in front of the computer screen. This is the first reader feedback I've ever received, and it's from a senior music critic whose approval means a lot to me.

In February 2002, I returned to China to sell books. It has been 7 years since I returned to China last time. That short trip to China surprised me at the speed of China’s “changes”. After 7 years, China has become an out-and-out capitalist country. The United States is socialism! However, this is actually an important reason why I like the United States. This country is still a bit idealistic, and China has lost all this "stupidity".

After returning to China, I first went to Shanghai to meet many friends, including Zhang Guangtian who was recording in Shanghai. At that time, my mood was very contradictory, not only because of 911, but also because many new friends I met expressed strong dissatisfaction with him. In the end, the meeting was quite pleasant. He was still very talkative, and the years of friendship made it impossible for me to express my feelings. After that meeting, I realized that this is a very hard-working scholar and a very confident person, and no one can change him. If you want to defeat him, you must first ask yourself: Are you as diligent as him?

The above were my thoughts at the time. Today, I am very indifferent to Zhang Guangtian. In my mind, he is a bookworm with a good heart. Years of life in the bottom of the well made him completely ignorant of what the outside world is like, and he still clings to his own ideals. For such an old pedant who does not eat the fireworks of the world, the best way is to let him go. I am also indifferent to Wang Xiaofeng. He is a frog in a well just like Zhang Guangtian, and both of them are extremely confident. They always feel that their "independent thinking" is correct, so I am not surprised that Wang Xiaofeng has become a Sichuan fan. , let him go.

In the first two months after returning to China, I have been traveling in mountains and rivers, leaving all the books to Wang Xiaofeng. He told me that a certain publisher he had contacted wanted me to cut half of the content, and of course I couldn't do that, so I flatly said no. During that time, I was very anxious, thinking that the things I put in so much effort to write might be of no value at all, and few people would read such things.

At this time, I got in touch with Wang Yipei again. He was hiding in the staff dormitory in Xisanqi and devoted himself to writing all day long, and he only came to Renmin University for one day a week. One afternoon, I went to visit him in his dormitory with Mat (who still hadn't worked) and I talked to Lao Wang about my worries and worries about my future. He said don't worry, and then he took out a collection of his own novels "Wandering Songs" that had just been published, and turned to the title page. There is a line of writing on it, which was given to him by a spiritual teacher he met on the Wandering Yin Road:

A flower draws energy from the sun and offers beauty to all.

Lao Wang explained: "I used to always think about saving others and the world, but now I don't think so. I want to be a flower, absorb nutrients from nature, live a fulfilling life, and then put this Present this kind of life to everyone, so as to affect the world and make it more beautiful."

Lao Wang is like a tonic, always present at the right time, providing nourishment and motivation to all who need it.

One day, Wang Xiaofeng invited me to Xiao Chang Chen, a restaurant specializing in animal offal, to meet a bookseller named Lao Liu. So, I met a middle-aged man who often walked with his waist bowed and spoke slowly. What I didn't realize at the time was that meeting this person opened another door for me, and that's when I started the second half of my life.

[The picture on the title is a photo taken when I reunited with Xiaoyu & Wang Yipei not long ago in New York]

(to be continued)