2020 LOVE Matters｜Annual Questionnaire

Dec 21, 2020

My 2020 started in a hospital bed, and I spent the first day of the Lunar New Year in hospital, and 2020 just got out of hand. There are many, many moments that I don’t want to recall, and I especially want to write them down, but I’m hesitant to say anything. For sure, 2020 has been one of the hardest years of my life. When I woke up this morning, I suddenly saw a photo of Anita Zhang in the group. I miss her singing very much. Just listen to her song and write this questionnaire.

【2020 Matters Annual Questionnaire】

There are only ten days left in 2020, share an event that you didn't expect to happen this year at the beginning of the year? How has this event changed your life?
What I didn't expect at the beginning of the year was that I would move this year, and I never thought of it. [I just said that the first day of the new year is the first day of hospitalization, in a trance, and the night is also a person quietly. Although there was a Turkish patient who was in the same ward, we often chatted at night, but she did not know that it was the Chinese New Year's Day. Growing up so much, I have never shed so many tears during Chinese New Year. 】Moving is to seize the gap between the first wave of the epidemic and the second wave at the end of the year to change a place. It is said that "trees move to death, people move to live", this is a particularly big transformation, and it is also recorded in this article " transformation ", and now, there is only joy.
In 2020, what gives you the deepest sense of meaning?
Two poems in English have been published in Sonic Poetry. Although I have been persistent in writing, I have not achieved much. These two poems are from my past life, some very early and some very recent, and they give me meaning.
The global epidemic is still severe, please record an epidemic event that you think is worth remembering.
Maybe it's the death of Dr. Li Wenliang. ~~"Yes, I understand."~~ "No, I don't understand." ~~"I can't understand."~~
How has travel restrictions in 2020 changed your relationship with others/the world? Is there any person/thing that you must see/do when the epidemic is over?
There were many travel plans in 2020, but they were all put on hold. There is a discovery that the intimacy of the relationship cannot be changed through the so-called frequent video calls. It is how I feel in my heart. It's my sentence: "Feels are my own." I found that many people actually want to control your feelings. From telling you how you should feel to telling you how you shouldn't feel, remember what you feel in your heart. , only one can perceive it. There is no one you have to see, but you have to go to Disneyland. 😄
Talk about a conflict you encountered in 2020 that was difficult to resolve. The conflict here is: You feel your beliefs and actions are in conflict.
This is a question that requires a book to answer. I did come across it this year, like never before in my life. I found that I had some inherent beliefs that were instilled in my childhood. Even if I thought I wasn’t influenced by the concepts of “loyalty and filial piety”, I was actually just deceiving myself. Beliefs are related to people's behaviors, and some beliefs, sometimes unconsciously, will lead to certain behaviors, and over time, become habits. Of course, it will be very complicated to be specific to each individual. What I find most complicating is the realization that one's behavior is actually a response to this deeply ingrained belief in the context of self-denial that one has no "loyalty and filial piety" belief. Circumcision. In conflict, the body will first issue a warning, then the mind, in any case, starting with changing beliefs. It's not easy.
Share a moment when you "suddenly understood what I was against."
There are too many such moments to list. why? Because I am too sensible. I understand other people's affairs, and even if I object, I have been trained to put myself in their shoes, so I suddenly understand, what do I understand? Suddenly I understand why the other party keeps hurting me, and suddenly I understand why so many injuries are dressed in the guise of "for your own good" and in the name of "worry". It is not difficult to understand the position I am against, it is even more difficult to understand myself.
How has your relationship with your body changed compared to a year ago? Do you like your current body more?
Because of the move, my knee broke. So I contacted an accident in Macau, @MeforzoeThank you❤️ for reminding me that at that time, my jaw was bleeding, but I still took the bus and went to the health center. The health center was unable to handle it and went to The University of Science and Technology Hospital, stitches without anesthesia, the feeling of threading needles in the skin. Naturally, the knee is also damaged. Years have passed, but my knees are still weak. After physical therapy, I now do related exercises every day, which is much better. Of course, I prefer my current body.
After 2020, have you found something about yourself that you cannot stop?
Of course, writing.
Please share with us your favorite song, favorite book, or movie<br class="smart">favorite book in 2020 , it's hard, but I'll choose Collection of poems by Mary Jean Chan, my article here - show you the lines crossed out . There are so many lines of poetry written by Mary that I can relate to. The most often heard is Nikki Minaj's new album Queen.
Finally, could you please represent your 2020 with a photo.
I drew a Minion, I liked it very much, and then it was treasured by my husband, full of love, representing my 2020 - there is too much unhappiness, but also momentum and love, I survived. After seeing the photo [I didn't post a selfie, I wanted to post a selfie, but the selfie really doesn't mean much. 】
Please fill in the blank: 2020, LOVE matters