The day my grandpa left... he was finally pain free

At this time, Grandpa was in the terminal stage of liver cancer, and he could no longer take care of himself while lying on the hospital bed. The only ones who were conscious were probably his hearing and consciousness. The older generation said that if you want to die, you must die in your own home, so other living people are making decisions for the dying - they must go home before they die. At that time, I wondered if Grandpa had given them such power when he still had the ability to express himself. Back home, lack of medical resources, less morphine to ease the pain, can these pains be transferred to these people who make decisions for him?

The ambulance whistled and took Grandpa home. I still remember when the car door was opened, the Walkman next to Grandpa was playing Buddhist scriptures, and at that moment I thought I had lost him. The uncles and uncles worked together to move him to his bed. He was still lying in the position where he used to sleep. At that time, he was asleep as usual, and I hoped that he would wake up the next day. Every moment he came home, he was actually waiting to die... The usually deserted home suddenly became lively, which seemed to be extra ironic. Are they really here to say goodbye, or are they here to play? When people are alive and healthy, why don't they often see you to care for them? Except for the last time when the grandpa came back to divide the property before he was conscious.

Maybe it was too painful. Several times Grandpa tried to bite his tongue to commit suicide, but the people around him quickly stuffed a towel into his mouth to stop his determination to beg for death. I will never forget the way he groaned in pain on the bed, and I dare not even think about it, because every time I shed distressed tears. At that time, I was thirteen years old. I prayed to God every day to bring my grandpa to heaven to have fun and not to let him suffer from illness. I didn’t know what else I could do for him other than cry.

A relative said, "Grandpa still has someone he wants to see, so he is reluctant to leave. Please let your mother come back!" After she was eight years old, her parents divorced, and her mother became an outsider in the family. Actively caring stance. After Mom came back, she held Grandpa's hand and said, "Dad! I'm XX, I'm back to see you!" Grandpa's hand moved, as if to say, "Just come back."

I went to school as usual, and the teachers and classmates didn't notice what happened in our house. Until the morning a week later, my uncle came to pick me up from school, and that day was the day my grandpa left. After returning home, he lay quietly on the straw mat, as if the pain also fell asleep with him. He looked decent in a brown Tang suit and white gloves. It was only then that I realized that this was what it was—loss. I started to cry aloud, he can no longer sign the contact book for me from now on. He was like our guardian since he was a child. He rode his 50cc blue motorcycle to take us to elementary school. My brother was in front of me and I was behind. signed.

I figured out the answer to that incident only after he left. Once when we were watching TV in the living room, he suddenly tapped the wooden chair with his hands. I was even more frightened by his actions when I heard the sound, so I asked him, "Grandpa, what are you doing?" "No! It's just a pain in my hand. "He says. At that time, I naively thought that it was just the simple pain in his mouth, and it would be better in a few days. I didn't know that his body had been eroded by cancer, and I couldn't understand the damage that cancer cells brought him. I didn't realize the seriousness until one day when I saw him coughing up blood with my own eyes and the ambulance rushed him to the hospital for treatment. It turned out that he was slowly walking away from me.

In the fifteen years since he left, the thoughts of him have never diminished due to the change of years. The pain of loss is too strong, too strong to touch this memory frequently. At the time of writing this memory, after my boyfriend came home from the stadium, he looked at me, who was sobbing and sobbing, with doubt and worry. He asked gently, "What's wrong with you? Did something happen?" I trembled and tried to hold back my tears, but I found that I couldn't. I shook my head and buried my face in my hands, Ren Sinian's tears flowed again. Thank you for not saying anything at this time, just giving me a hug and giving me time to deal with my emotions.

I guess the grandpa in the sky should still love to travel as before, and he must not have forgotten to bring me sweet potato chips. When he was practicing calligraphy, he must have known that I was by his side. I hope that on my wedding day, he will come and see me happy.