Day 8—The price of suppressing your inner voice

Yesterday, I was reminded to be cautious about expressing my opinions and personal information on the Internet, because speech control is becoming more and more strictly prohibited. Because of this reminder, when I started writing today, I was a little timid about what to say. I can only ask myself, how much am I willing to compromise? How long can you keep suppressing your inner voice all the time? If I accidentally say something wrong, will it really ruin my future? If yes, then can I still survive in such living conditions? What is the price of giving up freedom of speech and thought?

In fact, I have also made a lot of adjustments. I am not criticizing for the sake of criticism, but I want to understand how a totalitarian system affects people's psychology, just like those psychologists who recorded the dreams of people in Nazi Germany at that time. From the perspective of Jungian psychoanalysis, while examining the outside, we must also notice how the centralization tendency in the heart is displayed, in order to understand the "shadow" of the "collective unconscious".

I mainly want to do my own inner work, and be my own healer and patient at the same time, so I have been consciously doing "self-education" and "self-therapy" recently. I can't help anyone because I can't be responsible for others, I can only be responsible for myself, which is the most responsible thing I can do.

In the course of my life, in order to adapt to society, I allowed others to manipulate my thoughts and feelings, and even delayed the growth of my own inner authority. When I faced those who questioned me and threatened me with questionable mainstream social values (eg, male superiority, hypocritical positivity, totalitarian superiority, etc.), I instantly lost my voice and strength to defend myself. In order to be able to speak for myself in the future, I want to rediscover the self that I once abandoned because I wanted to integrate into the society.