Perth Diary Day 609, looking at the relationship between husband and wife from the perspective of camping life, from the perfect marriage to affair and cheating

As mentioned in the previous article, I bought this second-hand car because it was actively recommended by a friend. Although I was not very satisfied, I didn’t want to disappoint my friend and bought it because I thought that I might never be completely satisfied with it. There are pros and cons to buying or not buying it.

My friend also actively organized this first trip, but he didn’t have much interest in the camping spot he wanted to go to. In addition, my wife was under a lot of academic pressure during the graduation season and didn’t have time to stay overnight, but she still agreed to go there for a day. Although it was night before leaving, my wife had finished her homework and done some homework. Since she was driving out, she still went to a nearby scenic spot to stay for one night. She took this opportunity to buy all the necessary camping equipment. After all, it was a big day. It is an investment, but it will be more convenient to go out in the future. Everything has pros and cons, and everything is an opportunity. Change your mentality, work hard to make a commitment, change your mood, and see opportunities for various changes in life.

Three days and two nights, I had not bought all the equipment in the morning before departure, so I bought a gas bottle one night in advance. I wanted to buy a replacement can directly at Bunning or BP gas station, but all the 4kg cans were sold out, so I had to buy I had an empty bottle but couldn't find a place to refill my gas. Finally, a similar salesperson told me that I could go to camping-related stores like BCF and Anaconda to refill my gas.

On the morning before leaving, I filled up on gas and hit the road. After more than an hour, I drove to the store where my friend was camping. After a casual look, it turned out that it was exactly like I imagined a sandy campsite. There was no way to use the newly bought kayak. I helped my friend bring two bags of firewood and also I bought charcoal by mistake. It was my first time camping and I had no experience.

After driving for another hour, we arrived at the Honey Moon campsite we had booked. Campsites here generally check out at 10am and check in at 2pm. We arrived at about 3pm and took out a huge amount of money in front of everyone. The camping equipment attracted a lot of attention from others, and I felt a little embarrassed to be too aggressive. Later I found out that the people who came in front were all tourists, and the people who came behind were campers, and everyone’s equipment was mixed with each other.

I have been researching various tents before, and finally I accidentally went to a physical store to feel the texture of RV5, and I could no longer accept other tent materials.

The price is also an impressive 1,000+ knives, and with other accessories, it reaches 1,600+. In the end, I found an almost brand-new tent on the second-hand market for 1,000 knives plus various accessories.

Then there are shower tents, clothes drying racks, water heaters, sleeping bags, sleeping mats, water barrels, oil barrels, various living and cooking equipment, and power supply systems. It is like buying another home.

Finally, you can’t go camping without entertainment. I also bought an inflatable double kayak, followed by second-hand seat cushions, paddles, and life jackets.

Adhering to the mentality of never buying new products when I can buy the second-hand equipment I like, I still spend a lot of money. But in life in Australia, if I don’t go camping, I can only do exercise. Exercise is not boring, but I gave up. Australia’s unique camping resources are truly a sin.

Because I agreed to go camping with my friends, but I don’t like using other people’s things, I took this opportunity to get my own set of camping equipment.

The difference between the equipment that I carefully selected and organized and the equipment that I rented from exmouth last time is not the difference in use, but the difference in mentality. One is eager to open and use it, and the other is to take it out and make do with it as soon as it is available. With a flexible mentality, the camping experience will be greatly improved.

We often say that the trip that two people take before getting married can best tell whether two people are really suitable for each other. The camping life of two people after marriage is actually a test of two people's getting along. After experiencing some emotional twists and turns some time ago, we Now it’s easier to talk about anything, and each other’s inner openness makes it easier to be alone, and it’s fun to talk all night around the campfire.

In my opinion, it is difficult for most people around me to experience this kind of aloneness again after they get married. Children will become a common source of conversation. The common interest of both parties is for the good of the children, so it can become a common topic. The driving force, but except for the children, maybe most people have to separate. In my opinion, the fundamental reason is that different views bring huge differences in topics of interest. It is almost impossible to chat together, and it is impossible to appreciate each other based on personality. It is difficult to ensure the stability of marriage or even love. It is impossible to accommodate each other, and it is even more difficult to understand each other. It is more based on moral constraints or considerations of giving children a complete family.

However, these driving forces that do not come from the heart will lead to a superficial and distant relationship, so that cheating becomes inevitable. This is also a manifestation of human nature's desire for freedom and its unwillingness to be restrained.

Covering up a problem can never fundamentally solve the problem. Instead, it will definitely make the problem become irreconcilable. Instead of slowly disappearing as time goes by, the last thing left behind may be two cold hearts. In addition, The emergence of a fresh life will be the salvation of two cold hearts and make people feel new. Therefore, cheating will make people feel new and alive again. In this sense, maybe we should give this person’s voice a Feel blessed.

But in fact, the problem is not the infidelity itself, but the lack of communication that has been going on for a long time before the infidelity. The feeling we often hear in marriage is "I am too lazy to mention it, and it is useless to mention it." This is not an effective way to solve the problem. Method, of course, such problems do not necessarily come from one person, but from one person's lack of understanding, and from another person's lack of change of mentality.

These deficiencies may be because the basis of emotion does not come from true love and appreciation, because love and appreciation must come from personality characteristics, not external identity or material things.

These deficiencies will make it extremely difficult for the couple to get along. The appearance of a child does not solve the problem, but covers it up and gives a greater chance for the problem to ferment.

If two partners can reveal all their dark sides, they will feel relieved and give the other person a chance to make the right choice.

It is too difficult for two people to appreciate each other's characteristics. It is more common for one person to love one more than the other. The difficulty lies in how to keep one person attracted to the other person's love and make the other person love. How to understand and appreciate another person's love.

This actually comes from the mutual growth and progress of the two people, and continues to give each other a sense of freshness. This original intention must come from one's own requirements for oneself, rather than a compromise made to retain the other party. This is the most difficult thing.

Maintaining one's own growth is an eternal life issue for a person, regardless of whether there is a partner accompanying him or not, whether there are children accompanying him or not.

It is extremely difficult to see someone with this purpose, and it is even more difficult for two people to meet each other.

My wife loves me far more than I love her. I know the reason, because I continue to make progress. My love for my wife started from scratch. It was when I began to feel her selfless love for me. I reappreciate those personality traits that made me choose her, and then I see her transition from being dependent on me to self-growth, and in the process, our life together becomes better.

Everyone does have advantages and disadvantages, but it is undeniable that there are levels of cognition. This cognition comes from the understanding of the outlook on life and the judgment of the world view. My wife and I get along. I spur and encourage her to start from a different perspective. She got a stable job in a public institution, jumped out of her comfort zone, learned French and English, and went to study abroad again in her thirties. She chose to stay with me. During our relationship, I taught her swimming, fitness, and diving. , driving, taking her away from the domestic involution environment. In the past, I forced her to learn my skills, but now she also started to want to learn tennis from me. In the process, I also began to feel her transformation, To feel her growth, these changes require an opportunity, and the opportunity may be an opportunity at any time, an opportunity to break up the relationship, and an opportunity for the relationship to become more stable.

Now, I don’t believe in any perfect love that can fall in love at first sight. Behind any seemingly perfect love, there are countless undiscovered flaws.

The only three views we can choose are the cornerstones of marriage. Our openness and sincerity to each other can shorten the time cost of mutual recognition.

This similar foundation of three views, such as integrity, kindness, pragmatism and non-hypocrisy, can become the starting point for common growth and gradually develop into life issues for each self-growth. If they can become teammates who encourage each other, this marriage will have the opportunity to develop towards a perfect marriage. , if not, this relationship will become a hotbed for infidelity and affair. Understanding infidelity and affair from this perspective is not a derogatory term. If we focus on each independent individual, in addition to morality, , we don’t need to commit to any other concept from beginning to end of the relationship. If the beginning was a mistake, then the end will be a kind of compensation, but based on moral constraints, most people will stick to an imperfect marriage. Until another episode occurs. From a moral point of view, we would consider cheating to be unfaithful, but from an individual point of view, it may be another opportunity for a soul longing for love. How to grasp it depends on the individual's behavior.

My articles never want to endorse any morality, religion, or law. I want to try to understand the essence of life from the perspective of an individual. When you analyze your inner desires deeply enough, you will go Entering everyone's heart, and each individual growing, is the original intention of all my sharing.