Sick cleaning?

Recently, the speed of reading has slowed down, presumably because there are too many chores in my heart, I want to do too much, but there is always not enough time.

The use of time is really clumsy for me. I thought I could read more books on vacation, but I didn’t expect that my head began to remind me of things I haven’t done, calls I haven’t made, money I haven’t remitted, etc., so I read. The mind was interrupted again. And the things I have to do are often caught in such a cycle, so I always jump out to remind me of one thing before another thing is done. Often in this anxious mood, it is really a headache.

So I try to write down all the things I need to do, so that I can make a schedule, at least I can do a few things in a day instead of wasting it all.

In the days when I am not at work, I always hope to do more housework or read more books, but I find that the more vacation I take, the more nervous I am than when I go to work, and I am afraid that I will waste my time on rest. In fact, vacation is supposed to relax yourself, but I often make myself tense, because there is always a voice reminding me: what you should do, you should do this, you should do that. That voice kept urging me, as if I would feel sorry for everyone in the family if I didn't do it. In fact, isn't it just me who can decide what to do at home? I am the most vicious person in my family, and I am the one who can decide many, many things in my family, but I am still haunted by these thoughts. Is there a masochist? (laugh

I like vacations very much, but in the face of the upcoming Lunar New Year, my anxiety seems to be slowly increasing. At a glance, I can see many places in the house, and I feel that things should be sorted out, or the items should be organized. To rearrange it, the anxiety in my heart makes me unable to finish a cup of coffee and read an article with peace of mind, just like now I really want to sit down and write, but my mind starts to think about mine again. The room has not been cleaned, my kitchen and oven have not been cleaned, such voices keep popping up and telling me that today is not only a holiday but also a time for you to do housework.

I still haven't learned to let myself go, but what's different is that this year I'm really not as anxious as I was in previous years.

In the past, I always thought that when guests came to our house, the house must be clean and neat. Whenever someone came to our house without prior notice, they would be rejected by me, and I would tell them that my house was messy and inconvenient.

My husband often thinks that I am unreasonable and impersonal. I want to use a clean and clean environment to welcome guests. I think this idea is not wrong, but from the standpoint of the master, he feels that there are guests coming to us. Home, we are happy to receive it, we don't have to think too much. And guests will never care if your home is clean or messy.

They might not really care, but I would. I know that if someone invites me to someone else's house, I'll tell him that it's okay if the house isn't neat, we're looking at the person, not the home.

But when the same incident was applied to me, I couldn't accept it, and I lived a little hard for myself. But in the past few years, I have really slowly taken back this line of mine, because I am already tired.

Sometimes I feel that this kind of me is very tiring, and I get sick before the new year, and I call this disease a cleaning disease . And it's a dreaded disease. Back pain will definitely follow, and hand pain will come again.

But I know that this year I don't want to have the cleaning sick again.