Reading Bigen｜# is getting old• Facing the choice of life, old age, sickness and death

Under the epidemic, facing the separation of life and death, will the wanderer who is far away in a foreign land come back to see the "last side"?

■ The decision to go home: see the last

In the past month, I have been in contact with two families. The two "uncles" who have been taking care of me since I left the society are dying. I also know their children. Similar situations, but very different responses.

"I'll meet your family. Huh! Will you go back to Taiwan?" I asked tentatively.
"No. The cost is too high to afford it," L said.

When I hear the word " cost ", I feel a little sullen at the moment. Can the bond of family love be measured by money? But when I thought about it, it was someone else's housework, and I couldn't talk about it, so I stopped the conversation.

⋯

Y resolutely chose to return to Taiwan.

Writing this, everyone must be worried, will they "miss a major event" because of entry quarantine? It turned out that there was an emergency channel. This mental journey and customs clearance details were recorded in writing (quoted with the consent of the parties concerned)….

 I haven't returned to Taiwan for more than 2 years, but when I set foot in Taiwan again, I saw my father for the last time.

Over the past year, my father's condition has not improved.
They all thought that you with strong willpower could survive this time.

There are only 3 days from the decision to buy a ticket to departure. I started to explain all the jobs at hand, looking for PCR tests, filling out a bunch of forms back to Taiwan online (due to the epidemic), booking anti-epidemic hotels, and the child's next needs... Everything was handled in a hurry, just because I was afraid of Taiwan's strict border epidemic prevention. Controlled and unable to enter the country.

After getting off the plane, I was immediately taken to the hotel by a special anti-epidemic vehicle for isolation. When I arrived at the hotel, I was desperately preparing the procedures and forms for applying for emergency going out, arranging for another PCR test, making numerous phone calls and emailing (health clinics, National Taiwan University Hospital, Department of Health, Quarantine Office…)

Afterwards, the anti-epidemic special car took me to the PCR test. If it was negative, I was allowed to visit my father in the hospital for 1 hour.

When my family went to the quarantine station to help me get the inspection report and sent it to the hotel, it was already the third day. After getting the report, I immediately applied for emergency going out.

The commissioner of the Health Bureau helped me arrange contact with National Taiwan University Hospital and pick up and drop off in an anti-epidemic vehicle. When I arrived at the hospital, the nurse immediately asked me to put on an isolation gown, clear the road I walked, and the elevator I took, and would not let me have anything with anyone. Contact, even my family can only look at me from a distance.

(The National Taiwan University Hospital is such a large hospital that it is not easy to clear the aisles, elevators and other wards to close their doors.)

I was only allowed to accompany my father in the ward, and I was escorted out of the ward after an hour. Every place I passed, the hospital was strictly sterilized.

Thanks to the Commissioner of the Health Bureau who knew my situation and personally helped me review and arrange everything. If it wasn't for her, I couldn't see my dad on the 3rd day as quickly as possible.

This journey is really not easy.

Before I left, I told my two children to help my father, and my father would take care of the two of you alone (three meals, transportation to and from school, tutoring, homework, life matters), and it would be really hard to be busy with work.

I can't let go of both sides, but sometimes people really don't have so many choices, as long as I don't worry. He will handle it well, I am really touched at the moment... Even if I don't give up, I still have to leave...

□□ and □□ video told me that they clean the floor, fold clothes, collect bowls, organize school bags every day...

One is 9 years old and the other is only 6 years old.
I was moved and saddened by their sensibleness.

Fortunately, they have been trained in all life rules and attitudes since childhood, and they are responsible for their own affairs. At this critical moment, their independent and sensible come in handy.

Because my parents taught me the same way.

Under the epidemic, how many foreigners are helpless and sad.

This trip is not cheap. Y mentioned to me:

" To choose now, what is most important to you? "
" If it's hard to choose what's important, choose which one to lose, and you'll feel the most. "

I seem to be relieved.

He and he each have their own values. In Y's view, money for filial piety cannot be saved.

■ The choice of sacrifice: remembering the deceased

 Zigong wanted to go and tell Shuo's goat. The Master said, "Give it to you, you love its sheep, and I love its rites."

Gao Shuo is a sacrificial ceremony. Food sheep refers to raw sheep, that is, they are not cooked, but are sacrificed directly after being slaughtered.

Zigong was the richest student of Confucius. In addition to being a businessman, he was also a diplomat. He should have shouldered the heavy responsibility of telling Shuo. Stop offering sacrifices! Or use another alternative.

Confucius said, "Zigong! It is the sheep you love, and which ritual I love."

The former is pragmatism, the latter is an attitude of absolute importance.

He and he each have their own values. In Confucius' view, money for ritual cannot be saved.

■ Care choices: where is the retirement home?

There are many similar disputes in life: no burning gold paper, no burning incense, no firecrackers... a more environmentally friendly alternative. Times are evolving, and we are always adapting/dealing with one contradiction after another.

Going back to the theme of #is getting old , should you send your old relatives to a nursing home?

From the perspective of Fang Cai Zigong's pragmatism, he should choose a nursing center for the elderly. In the era of fewer children, if one is an only child, married and has children, one has to take care of one’s own parents and the other’s parents, and it is difficult to take care of themselves. Family.

He has his own values with him. In any case, care and companionship cannot be spared, no matter where you live.

Make some extra time!

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