EP13. Order a small drink, why is there a mini cup?

foreword

A friend of mine once asked me how to achieve goals through talking, that is, like a conversation between you and a colleague, or a proposal with a client, or even sharing some interesting things with friends, how can I make it Your sharing has become more interesting, and then you can further promote this cooperation. I have also observed that it is usually the same story, but some people tell it like a statement, some others People tell you stories to make you feel that interest, and then let you enter into his stories. I think this is very interesting because I wanted to train my way of speaking so that people can be more interested. So I will find some talk shows, and then find the common points of those speakers, then I will start listening to the Podcaster's narration, and then I will analyze what common elements they have achieved, and there are also some of them. Where are the differences.

individual case

Talk about feelings first, then talk about things

Then I think the difference between them mainly lies in the "sense of story", which is how to create an atmosphere so that everyone can enter the world you are talking about. Taking my personal example, it is just like when you were doing magic before. You need to induce the audience's attention through the way you speak, so that you can deceive him. For example, first focus on the order of the story, if you speak Chinese, um... just tell a story, for example, say that there is a person present The top shot and then the three-pointer. His three-pointer is very accurate. That's because he usually practices hard. It's like it's the usual four o'clock in the morning. He's still training hard, so his The three-pointer is so accurate. It's the general Chinese way of narrating a thing. If it is changed to English, how will it describe it? It may say that there is a three-pointer who trains very hard. Hand, he still practiced resolutely at four in the morning every day, no matter how cold the weather was, he still did not give up, just like he has thrown this three-pointer now, as always, he is in the bag. This is a comparison between Chinese and English. After the show or podcast, my own experience, I think they are actually just flipping the grammar, but flipping it can make people feel the current story better. The English way is to slowly bring it from the outside to the inside, and That is to say, it is slowly brought from the environment to the protagonist, just like we are watching a movie. Many American-style opening scenes will first put a big vision, maybe the picture of the helicopter, or in any case, it is the picture in the air, and then overlook the whole city. , and then slowly push it forward, to the entire protagonist, and even to the case of a close-up, then its way is to first let you understand its time and space background, its environment, and then sculpt its essence, On the other hand, when we speak Chinese, we tend to be more precise. Then, after I have covered the whole core point, and the information is insufficient, I will continue to supplement it infinitely. I think the process of supplementing in this way will distract people. Moreover, your information will be scattered, and there is no way to focus on the content of what you are saying, because after others listen to what you say, they have to synchronize the structure in their own minds, so of course there is no way for them to focus 100% on you. story above.

Do not distract from the accumulation of the atmosphere of the story

Let’s take another example, this time I will reverse it, because I am afraid of the order of Chinese and English, I just said Chinese first, and then change English, I am afraid that this may affect the feeling, so I reverse it this time. , then let's take some interesting things that happened when I was a soldier, that is, if I want to share with my friends, the English structure will probably become "When I was a soldier, I couldn't sleep well because of the hot and cold weather. , and the soldier on my right would kick me when I was sleeping, because someone snored very loudly in the middle of the night, and that person happened to be sleeping on my left, so I kept being snorted when I thought it was me. The one on the right kicked and kicked until he was discharged. He didn't tell me about the situation until the day before he was discharged from the army, and then finally found out that the wrong person was kicked and apologized to me." This is the point of the matter slowly brought from the environment, if it is in Chinese , it will become "When I was a soldier, someone would snort so loudly in the middle of the night, even the Lin soldier next to me thought it was me, and then came to kick me and wanted me to be quiet, ah, my Lin soldier happened to be sleeping in me. The one on the right, who snored, slept on my left, and the one on the right didn't tell me until the day before he was discharged from the army, and found out that he kicked the wrong person, and then the weather just happened to be hot and cold, so it was very difficult for me to sleep.", Although it is only a short story with a few words, you should be able to feel some differences. That is, when narrating in English, it is brought from the environment to the story, while in Chinese, it directly tells the core. I just tell you what happened at that time, and then I'll add, what I just said, it's like I'm halfway through, and then I tell you that one is on the right and the other is on the left, and then finally I add that the weather was bad at that time, so it was difficult for me to sleep together. , then if it is applied to the proposal process, who doesn’t want the other party to understand the core of your proposal, and then fully feel it? Because before you tell the story, the structure of the entire story has been set up, so others don’t need to Take some effort to organize what you said again. This is what I have observed in English talk shows more often, that is, when you watch his talk show, you basically don’t need to rethink his environment at that time. Instead, you can be very immersed in the stories he tells, and then finally come to a breaking point.

Convergence and divergence through frequency confirmation

OK, then, after you can bring these feelings to the other party completely, how should you control his thoughts? Let me explain first, these things are purely my personal experience and observation, no The actual research, so everyone still needs to judge these things independently, then my own way of influencing the other party's thinking is to constantly confirm our frequency with the other party, that is, to always match the frequency with him, this method is actually from a long time ago. , I trained it when I was doing magic, because like when I was doing magic, for example, I put the card you selected here, and then no one can move it, and then I secretly after doing some actions Change the card away, then before I surprise you, I'll confirm with you again and say "Huh? None of us touched it just now, right?", and then you'll say "Yes", because you didn't find it, Then the last card is gone, or I replace it, then you will be very pleasantly surprised, because with the confirmation in front of you, "I have never touched this card", it will improve the latter Tension, otherwise if I just make the cards disappear, and then do something, and then suddenly tell you "Hey your cards are gone", you may feel like saying "Eh? Eh? Disappeared, when did you disappear?" , that's all, it won't say "Huh? I just made sure that it's still there, why is it gone now?", so this is the same as the convergence of the proposal, and it needs to be confirmed multiple times to make the other party feel like saying this about me The confirmation is based on my own thoughts, and then I get it, he will become more at ease, and then go to listen to what you are saying slowly, otherwise you are talking too fast when you are talking, maybe he is still there Think back to what you said before, and then you talk about it later, how do you discuss things when you don't have the same frequency?

Master the conversation and lead the outcome

Then when the other party confirms, it is the next frequency match, that is, we discuss the next stage, then if we do not confirm, we will continue to discuss this issue, because it is the place where opinions are currently divided, so you are like this. The problem will be gradually limited, rather than infinitely divergent, because some bosses will think that saying that I have been divergent is equivalent to saying that I have thought deeply about this product or project, because I have thought about a lot of things Well, but many are not necessarily good, and many are useless without a focus. In fact, this method will only make your things infinitely magnified. Then we will talk about it at the end of the discussion. "Ok, we have just thought about this. There are many things, and now we will run it again from the beginning, and then we will evaluate that its order is still feasible.” In fact, this thing can be done at the beginning, and it can be done step by step, so relatively speaking, it is I wasted a lot of time and energy, and I didn't confirm anything at all. You just kept um... It's just a wish to say something ugly. We usually divide it into divergence and convergence when doing research. The common divergence method is like The general brainstorming is brainstorming. The mainland translation is called brainstorming. If it converges, it will become a kind of verification method for research. It depends on whether you want qualitative analysis or quantitative analysis. When talking about this kind of customer, I usually focus on assisting and restraining. It depends on whether you want to use a solid canvas to make him determine whether his business model is complete or not, or to analyze the competitive products to see if you have missed something. , then at this stage, when you can follow the progress of the meeting, or the speed of our conversation, you can already master this conversation, and naturally you can package it according to the way you want, and then slow down Take it slow and lead to the result you want. For example, the famous example before is um... a beverage shop, and if you order a drink in it, and you don't want to order a large cup, you ask him if there is a small cup , then he took out a cup, which was smaller than the cup on the table, and asked you, "Well, is this OK?", then you may subconsciously think, "This is a small cup, then Of course Ok", but how do you know that he is not smaller? Because he did not say that this is the smallest, so this is a mastery of the dialogue, if there is something wrong in the process, the other party disagrees, of course he It will correct you further, but you know that it is not that you do not know what he is thinking, it is just the way you lead, or the way you propose that he does not accept, that's all, just like the cup just now, he may Just ask, "Is there a smaller one?" Then you have to come up with a smaller one, because you didn't say that this is the smallest one. In this process, you are actually guiding you all the time. Proposed.

practice experience

I operate these ways of speaking myself, and I think it is quite easy, especially by understanding the needs of the other party, and then packaging them according to the results I want, and then confirming with them, not only can I reach me more easily In addition to the purpose, you can also make the other party feel that you are listening carefully to what he has to say, and even help him organize the whole idea and structure, and imagine it for him from his perspective. I think this is also the difference between sales and consultants. One, no one says that a consultant can't sell, and no one says that selling can't make people feel that you are thinking about him. Whether you are a consultant or a salesman at the moment is actually determined by the other party's current feelings, so this is related to Empathy is still very relevant, after all, before you want to guide the other party, you have to make him feel that you are thinking for him, then when he has already felt that "well, you are really thinking for us, to find the problem for us, Then come up with some solution" and the rest is your show time!

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