Late Night Conversation｜The Trouble With High Sensitivity

As a highly sensitive person, I have always had a problem.

My sensitivity allows me to hear footsteps, pick up objects, and open doors to identify who the action is (if I know someone). Or go shopping with acquaintances, chatting freely and happily, passing a commodity shelf during the chat, and with a glance from the other party, I can know, "Have you met an acquaintance who you don't want to say hello to?"

Or, when I was a student, I talked to my tutor, and when it was confirmed that I could talk, I sensed the teacher’s embarrassment and seemed to want to end the call. I was afraid that the teacher would be embarrassed to say it, so I asked first.

"If you have something to do, we can talk next time. It doesn't matter."

"Why are you so sensitive, the time is okay, but I made an appointment with a student in half an hour, just pay attention to the time."

Or, people are accustomed to wrapping negative words into kindness. Of course, I fully accept completely kind words. However, I can always easily perceive the maliciousness wrapped in kindness, even if the maliciousness is as small as a hair. People are always in denial because they are often unaware of their own looming thoughts at the moment. A friend once said, "You always distort other people's meanings", "Don't be self-righteous", etc., but often it is only at the end that the other person realizes "So I had this feeling at the time, I had this idea!" It's just that even if you finally understand or admit your mistake, the hurt has been created while saying things like "you always twist what other people mean" and "don't be self-righteous", it's a fact and it won't go away. The harm comes from the sincerity felt from the words.

In fact, I have wondered if pretending not to know everything I perceive is the best option?
I did this for a year or two before meeting the friend who said hurtful things to me.
At the time, however, his evaluation of me was "indifferent and only concerned with his own affairs".

Or when I sense the slightest emotion of the other party (other people of the above friends), I express concern, but the other party thinks that I am too sensitive and very stressful.
At first I didn't know how to adjust the proportions so that the people around me could feel cared for and not feel pressured.

I want to be someone who gives warmth without burdening others.
I want to be someone who makes good use of Gao Min's talent without causing trouble or torturing myself.

Maybe I'm too greedy and want to have both, that's why I'm not human inside and out...
Maybe people who don't want to understand me don't have the fate to be good friends themselves...

 This is my first time to edit and post on my mobile phone, so unfamiliar...
The conclusion is that I can still post it on a computer in the future 🤣