Preparing to go abroad is not a romantic journey, but a war of annihilation with limited resources

one

I still remember the day on March 17, 2023 when my partner Ami and I held our online wedding. Due to the time difference between China and Utah, the United States, the wedding was scheduled to be held at 11:30 pm Beijing time. Good friends waited in the Zoom conference room one after another to witness this wedding that was different from the secular world.

The wedding was scheduled to be held in our rental house. We only notified our friends three days in advance. About 20 friends were able to attend the online wedding, and only a couple of friends were free to arrive on site. We did not prepare any wedding venue in advance, did not hold a banquet, and naturally did not accept any blessing red envelopes from everyone.

It was time to go to bed. One of the friends who came to the wedding yawned loudly and long, and dozed off while sitting with their pet dog in his arms. Another friend was adjusting her camera with great interest. She set up a fixed position and held a micro single-lens camera, which made the small house of more than ten square meters look grand. Ami and I wore the white veil they prepared, and each chose a white shirt and black pants outfit from the closet, and waited by the computer.

Ami and I were busy working all day, and I took time to write the oath an hour ago. Watching more and more familiar avatars pop up in Zoom, sweat broke out on my palms. I silently repeated the oath in my mind and confirmed the pair of rare metal rings that I spent 600 yuan on. I bit my lip and tilted my head to look at Ami. She seemed to understand my uneasiness and reached out to gently stroke the back of my hand.

When the ceremony time came, the pastor appeared in the conference room wearing a cute green bowler hat and greeted us humorously in pure American English. He spent 20 minutes to confirm the two witnesses of the wedding, and then quickly ended the ceremony in 5 minutes. Ami and I only had 3 minutes to read the vows and exchange rings. A 30-minute online wedding ended like this. We were sweating because we were too nervous, and we shed tears because we were too happy.

Ami and I are a lesbian couple. On that sunny spring day five years ago, like doing a headache-inducing elementary school math problem, we walked towards each other from the north and south gates of G University, and met at the lakeside in the center of the campus 7 minutes later. We both put on exquisite makeup that day, and I clearly remember that Ami's lipstick was almost perfect. At that time, we didn't expect that we would go from classmates to lovers a year later, and we didn't expect that we would hold a wedding in such a simple and even perfunctory way four years later.

After reading this, you may sigh about our love, but the fact is that we decided to get the marriage certificate on a whim. We want to study in Australia as a couple. Although we know that Australia has common law and does not only recognize official certificates like China, in order to increase the success rate, we still plan to use legal means to confirm our relationship.

The Apostille-certified marriage certificate came across the ocean. Our names were printed in cursive English on the certificate. The strokes were connected, exuding the fragrance of ink, and it was heavy with the weight of trust and love.

two

In the second half of 2022, after three long years of epidemic lockdown and the nightmare of more than 300 nucleic acid tests a year, Amy and I began to think about going abroad.

A tiny speck of dust in the era that falls on the heads of ordinary people is a burden that life cannot bear. After resigning, Ami has not been able to find a job. Nearly 100 resumes she sent out have fallen into the sea. Seeing her savings dwindling, she thought about going on a working holiday to earn some money and then make plans. If she is lucky, she can even learn a skill.

I had a stable job at the time, and I was not going to be laid off or have my salary cut, but I was not happy. Leaders in the system were keen to introduce partners to unmarried colleagues, and whenever they asked me if I had a partner, I would be in a dilemma. If I said I didn’t have a boyfriend, I would be introduced to other men, and if I said I had a boyfriend, it would be unfaithful to my sexual orientation. But in order to avoid future troubles, I usually lied that I had a boyfriend.

Part of my work is related to epidemic prevention and control. I am annoyed by the clichés in official documents every day, and I am criticized for my omissions in work. I thought of my mother, a poor township kindergarten principal, who was scolded for half an hour by the administrative leader because the nucleic acid test result of the kindergarten driver was positive, and the criticism was posted in various work groups.

At the end of October, I was sent by my unit to volunteer for epidemic prevention and control in other places. I left home early and returned late every day, going door to door to input information and collect nucleic acid samples. I patrolled the epidemic area in white protective clothing, and residents hid like mice seeing a cat when they saw me. A month later, I returned home from the quarantine hotel. When I entered the door, I saw the stinky cat breathing at me with its fur standing up. It didn't recognize me. At that moment, I made up my mind to leave this hellhole as soon as possible.

At first we hoped to go abroad through WHV (working holiday visa). It happened that in mid-October, the online application for WHV in New Zealand was open. I decided to try my luck and booked an e-sports hotel. Because of the time difference, I got up at 4 o'clock to grab a WHV quota. Two laptops and a desktop computer, two hours passed, and the immigration system was paralyzed. The best result was just to fill in the form information, but it was never submitted successfully. I tried to click on the entrance of France, Italy and other countries, but it was deserted. Only the battlefield in China was in full swing.

When my friend was trying to get a spot for Australian WHV in 2016, he easily got it by operating in an Internet cafe. I didn't expect that after a few years, New Zealand's WHV would be so popular. Later, I learned that several proxy agents operating with servers and codes had divided up the 1,000 spots, and the probability of success for individual investors was almost zero. I searched online and found that the price of a New Zealand proxy spot had risen to nearly 10,000 yuan.

I joined several groups where people were discussing things very heatedly. Grabbing a WHV spot has been broken down into a high-precision job. Which agency has the highest success rate in grabbing a spot? Someone made an Excel spreadsheet to compare and analyze several agencies on the market. Are there other ways to go abroad? Someone has compiled the advantages and disadvantages of each country in detail. There is even a dedicated WHV website that continuously updates relevant information, from real-time WHV information in Australia and New Zealand to WHVER's overseas work records. The Chinese people's involution is really everywhere.

Huge anxiety spread in the WeChat group, and I was encouraged to spend more than 20,000 yuan to buy two quotas. Every time I saw the two quotas in the shopping cart, I was like Hua Laoshuan in "Medicine", "pressing the pocket, the hard stuff is still there".

The Australian whv has changed from grabbing a spot to a random draw. Whether you can win depends entirely on luck, and the draw time is uncertain. The next opening of the New Zealand whv will be in August 2023, and it is expected to be more popular than in 2022. As expected, when I looked at the group message again, the spots for grabbing by several agents had been swept away, and the highest premium had reached 15,000 per person.

This is too outrageous. If things develop to this point, it means that this method is no longer feasible. In March 2023, Ami and I decided not to rely on WHV to go abroad. After consulting many agencies, we planned to go abroad through studying abroad, so we transferred the two previously purchased quotas.

If successful, I will go to Australia to study as the main applicant, and Ami, as my partner, can go abroad with me as a secondary applicant. I am applying for a master's degree, so the study visa will not limit the working hours of my partner. This is a very cost-effective way to go abroad.

three

After searching almost all public universities in Australia online, we decided to focus on a non-G8 university offering a master's degree in social work. First, this school still had places available in July, so we could go abroad as early as possible. Second, this school was located in a remote area and had low tuition fees, which could also add points to immigration in the future. After the plan was finalized, I started preparing the materials needed to apply to the school while preparing for the English test.

In addition to academic qualifications, identity, assets and resume, the most important material is the personal statement, which states why you want to study abroad and why you want to apply for this major in this school. The reasons and motivations must be personalized and convincing enough for the school to issue an offer.

In order to determine whether the applicant has an immigration intention, the Immigration Bureau will also focus on the individual's motivation for studying abroad and ties with the country, the latter of which are usually real estate assets in the country and parents who need care. GTE (Genuine Temporary Entrant) and supporting materials are often the key to issuing a visa.

The GTE of less than 400 words was revised six times before it was finalized. In order to prove that I had no intention of immigrating, I found my family's real estate certificate, car registration certificate, only child certificate, and the insurance that my family of three bought in China. Ami also pasted the land contract management certificate and the approval letter for villagers to build houses into the materials. It's funny to say that we went abroad to study with the intention of immigrating, but here we are desperately trying to prove that we will return to China after finishing our studies, like a paradox that has to be fulfilled.

In order to get the English test results faster, I chose PTE (Pearson Test Of English). Unlike the IELTS test, which requires long-term English accumulation, this test focuses more on test-taking skills. As long as you work hard enough and practice as many questions as possible, you can quickly reach the professional requirement of four 7s in listening, speaking, reading and writing.

In the first test in April, my oral English score was one point short of the required score. There were still two months before the start of the school term, but we still had a lot of documents to prepare for the visa application, and the immigration bureau would also need time to review the documents. After careful consideration, I quit my job and focused on preparing to study abroad.

Without income from work, in order to reduce expenses as much as possible, we did not renew the lease of the previous house. Instead, we rented a small cubicle of less than ten square meters for a short period of time. The rent was one-third of the previous rent. There I prepared for the PTE exam and prepared the visa submission materials.

The mattress was a low-quality Simmons mattress. I woke up with backaches, as if I had been beaten up at night. The wastewater from the upper floor rushed down the white PVC pipe, like countless small grains of sand being thrown on the floor in an instant. Every time I was woken by this sound, I comforted myself that it was a sign of good luck coming.

Although there are a lot of documents to prepare, it is fine if you follow the steps. What is a headache is the status of my passport. Because of the nature of my previous job, I was registered as a state employee by my former unit. After I resigned at the end of April, they did not send a letter to the public security department to cancel my registration status. This means that even if I get my passport back, I will be restricted from entering and leaving the country, which is tantamount to sentencing me to death.

I quickly contacted my colleague in charge of personnel at my company. The communication process was like a game of chess. I couldn't let her know that I was going abroad, but I had to make sure she would help me. I said that I wanted to take my parents to Hong Kong and Macau for a trip while I was free recently. The current status of my documents restricted my entry and exit. Since I had resigned, the record should be cancelled.

Fortunately, she was willing to help and submitted the application quickly. However, half a month later, the passport status had not changed. This made me extremely anxious. I had to log in to the National Immigration Bureau's applet every day to check the results, and from time to time I had to urge my former colleagues to help me follow up. Every communication made me feel stressed, and the waiting process was even more tormenting. One day a month later, when I clicked into the applet again, I found that the window of "National Registration Staff" no longer popped up, and my heart was finally at ease.

After nearly a month of full-time preparation, I got a qualified English score in early May. However, due to the school's delay, I did not receive the COE (Confirmation of Enrolment) issued by the Australian Department of Education until early June. Fortunately, other materials had been prepared.

After solving the problems of English test and passport, another surprise happened before the medical examination. We had dinner with a group of friends, and one of them was later diagnosed with tuberculosis. We were therefore considered close contacts and had to go to the Tuberculosis Prevention and Control Center for X-ray examination and tuberculin skin test.

Unfortunately, within a week, a round red swelling with a diameter of more than 20mm appeared on the skin test site on my left wrist, accompanied by itching. I went online to look up information, and some people said that this was a sign of positive tuberculosis, while others refuted that this was fine and there was no need to worry. There were so many different opinions at the time that it was difficult to judge, which made me more anxious.

Tuberculosis is a key screening item for medical examinations when traveling abroad, and China is a high-incidence area for tuberculosis internationally. If we stumble on this issue, it will be really heartbreaking.

A week later, we went to see the test results with trepidation. My heart was in my throat, and I just prayed to the gods to protect my health. The doctor looked at my X-ray, touched the redness and swelling on my wrist, and measured it with a ruler. He smiled and told me that there was no problem with the test results, and asked me to relax.

I feel relieved! I just barely made it through another level.

In preparing to go abroad, Ami and I were like soldiers fighting side by side, each doing our own job, cooperating well, and overcoming various difficulties like fighting monsters. Ami is good at collecting information and making decisions, while I have strong execution and high work efficiency. I am basically responsible for all the materials and translation work. When we encounter setbacks, we cheer each other up, and when we hear good news, we must celebrate for ourselves.

Four

The process of preparing visa application materials was full of twists and turns, which made us realize how difficult it is for ordinary people to get things done in China.

Ami was born in her own home in the countryside, so she didn't have a birth certificate issued by a hospital, and her parents didn't apply for a birth certificate for her later. The notary office stipulates that residents born after 1996 must submit a birth certificate before they can apply for a birth notarization, which really made us feel very difficult.

"Then you can do a paternity test with your parents to prove that you are their child."

Ami was so angry that her eyes were crooked. She was a left-behind child since she was young, and she has a younger brother. In recent years, her relationship with her family has become strained, so she kept her plan to go abroad a secret from her family. Moreover, not only are her parents not in the same city as us, they are not working in the same city either, so the possibility of doing a paternity test is almost zero.

Later, the notary office came up with another plan, requiring the village committee in her hometown and the local police station to each issue a document to prove that Ami was her parents' biological daughter, and then bring her parents' ID cards, household registration booklet, marriage certificate and Ami's identity certificate for notarization.

There was a small episode in the middle. The marriage certificate of Ami's parents was actually forged. Ami's grandfather used his connections to get a blank certificate in order to tie Ami's mother down. He filled in the information of both parties himself, without even a red stamp. The so-called legal protection is for respectable people to see, but everywhere you look, the countryside is full of such barbaric stories.

The notary office naturally would not recognize such an illegal marriage certificate. Ami gritted her teeth and found various excuses to ask her parents to apply for a new marriage certificate, and only then was her birth certificate notarized.

In the end, we sorted out nearly 60 documents, including 40 pages of proof of our relationship. I made a catalog in the format of an academic paper, sorting out our relationship in terms of daily life, travel, social life, etc. From the rental contract and daily financial transactions to photos of the two of us and tickets for every trip, every piece of evidence that could prove the authenticity of our relationship was pasted into the document. I entered a state of fighting with myself, maybe if I made the materials more solid and the format clearer, the chances of signing would be a little higher.

In fact, the biggest problem was money. We needed to prepare proof of at least 500,000 yuan of property to go abroad, but we only had 100,000 yuan in savings. I was so worried that I got gastritis. How could I get the remaining 400,000 yuan? Ami's family could not provide any help, so I could only try to seek help from my parents.

I had mentioned to my parents that I was going to study abroad so that they could be mentally prepared. As expected, they strongly opposed it. But after a while, they gradually accepted the fact and expressed their willingness to support my choice.

After discussing with my parents, we decided to let my father take out a short-term loan of 200,000 yuan. He has a long working life and a stable income, so the interest on the loan can be kept to a minimum. Regardless of whether the loan is signed or not, we will pay it back immediately after two months. We will not lose too much money if we choose the equal principal and interest repayment method. My parents will borrow another 100,000 yuan from relatives and friends, and I will borrow another 100,000 yuan from a friend, promising to pay them back in two months.

We are betting everything on this, and the success or failure depends on the next two months. If it works, our savings will last for a while, and we will find a job as soon as we arrive in Australia, and the rest of the journey will depend on our own efforts.

Ami and I decided to submit visa documents together and share the consequences of visa approval or rejection. We have not come out to our parents, and they always thought that I applied for a visa to study abroad by myself. I lied to them and said that Ami happened to be selected for the Australian WHV, and we could go abroad together and take care of each other. Although it is not good to deceive parents, it was the best solution for the situation at that time.

After submitting the visa application, there was a long wait. We would anxiously check the group messages several times a day, ask the agent about the current progress from time to time, and refresh the relevant information on the online platform over and over again. The Australian Immigration Department will be more strict in reviewing the spouse visa materials. The probability of rejection for a couple submitting a visa at the same time is higher than that of a single person submitting a visa. During that time, Ami and I had a lot of acne on our foreheads, and our sleep quality became very poor.

For some of my friends, going abroad is just one of many options, and they can travel between countries. For us, the process of preparing to go abroad is like a war of annihilation. We can only choose a target and use all our resources to strike accurately. There are embarrassment and anxiety when we encounter obstacles everywhere, and we have to haggle over every penny when we are stretched to the limit. We are not rich, and our parents cannot afford the cost of our going abroad. We can only try every possible way to reach that high threshold, just like putting together a puzzle, trying to put together the missing piece.

For us, this opportunity is not just about trying our best, but we have to do it. I have already quit my stable job and am heavily in debt. Without the status of a fresh graduate, it is also very unlikely for Ami to find a suitable job. We are ready to fight to the death. If the result is not what we want, we don’t know what to do next. It’s like a gamble.

After three weeks of anxious waiting, it was already late June, two weeks before school started. One morning without warning, Ami woke me up from my deep sleep and shouted in surprise on her phone:

"The lottery is drawn, the lottery is drawn!"

In my sleepy state, I thought she was lying to me, until I saw the visa confirmation letter sent to us by the agent in the WeChat group, I dared to believe it was true. Our Australian visas were finally approved, and we can go to Australia together!

That day was probably the most joyous day in my life. After more than half a year of suffering and preparation, we finally won a chance to go abroad, opening up a new possibility for our lives. We will breathe fresh air in a free land and live a life that is consistent inside and out.

five

In order to reduce living expenses after arriving in Australia, we planned to carry the daily necessities such as bed sheets, quilts, pillows, clothes, small electric cookers and kettles from China to Australia. We packed three 28-inch large boxes and three 20-inch small boxes, carefully adjusting the weight of each box, and just used up the checked baggage allowance included in the two tickets.

Although it would be tiring for both of us to drag so much luggage, fortunately I had already contacted the school bus to pick us up in advance, and we are still young, so we can afford to give it a try.

We departed from Chengdu and said goodbye to our local friends. We tasted Sichuan cuisine, but it was hard to find the familiar flavors after we went to Australia. We were reluctant to leave, but we were more looking forward to a new life.

The moment the plane landed at Melbourne Airport, I felt relieved. The person who came to pick me up was a Southeast Asian girl from school. She shook my hand enthusiastically, and I generously introduced Ami to her: "She is my partner." I breathed a sigh of relief, finally I didn't have to pretend that I had a boyfriend anymore.

We booked a homestay on Airbnb in advance. The landlord was a local white woman who owned a very large house and a black Labrador. Two days before arriving, we got our mobile phone cards, bank cards, and bus cards, so we had no problem surviving here.

I was very nervous when I first communicated with a foreigner. Ami was so scared that she hid behind me and didn't say a word. We walked into a restaurant and couldn't even form a complete sentence when we wanted to order. I was even more shocked when I saw the menu in English. I asked the waiter if there was pasta. The waiter said with embarrassment but politely: "Sorry, we are a Spanish restaurant, so we don't have pasta, but I can recommend you some signature dishes."

I ordered two dishes randomly, and felt a little dizzy halfway through. At first I thought it was food poisoning, but then I looked through the menu and found that both dishes contained alcohol, one was sherry and the other was mojo. The first day in Australia was really funny.

It was winter in Australia, and the temperature was close to zero at eight o'clock in the evening. We huddled in our down jackets and walked back to the B&B. The shops on the roadside had closed, and the beautiful little house was shadowy in the dark.

Australia, here we come.

Note: The original article was published on the WeChat public account "Sandwich". This article is the revised version by the author.