Forget it, live your life! : Stop unconstructive rumination, relieve excessive anxiety, overcome decision fatigue, and focus on worthy things

I remembered that a few months ago, just because I didn't reply to a friend's message and phone call in time, the follow-up actually triggered "Tingting's disappearance", which was almost impossible to handle. The reason was that one of the friends made up his own mind because he was too worried. After many plots, and then through the infinitely expanding imagination to make false messages to the third person, finally a ridiculous farce was staged, which also caused me to be extremely displeased and protested. Because of that experience, I chose In order to keep a distance from this friend, I also deeply realize that "overthinking" will not only make one's own anxiety rise to the highest point, but also cause serious trouble to others, which in turn affects interpersonal relationships.

"Overthinking" refers to wasting energy on things that are not worthwhile. Most people will define such behavior as easy to "think too much", and they will also feel that such people are easy to "hesitate" After making a decision, they often "repent". At the same time, we also observed that such people are always entangled in many things, and seem to spend a lot of time thinking without getting relatively good results. In this case, improving "overthinking" is an important topic, and the author of this book shares effective solutions from his own experience.

Perhaps many people will question, "overthinking" seems to depend on a person's personality, is there really a way to improve it? In fact, it can be achieved by changing the way of thinking and habits . For example, when a colleague who is prone to thinking too much is worried that tomorrow's proposal will be rejected by the client and tossing and turning, my approach will be to prepare more than two proposals for the client to choose, and also prepare a dialogue in advance to deal with the advance and retreat, so It can reduce anxiety and ease the brain's repeated thinking. The most important thing is not to be afraid of failure . When we realize that there are no completely predictable things and perfect presentations in this world, we will feel relieved about many results and stop berating Own.

As a non-perfectionist actor, I very much agree with the author's theory that " values influence decision-making " in the book, because I myself are "value-oriented" when making decisions. First of all, what do you care about the most about something ? It is not required that every aspect of the matter can be completely satisfied. When the goal is determined, you can move forward bravely. The advantage of this is that it can save time and unnecessary emotional labor, and it will greatly reduce the probability of regret afterwards. Therefore, it is imperative to establish your own values first, and these values only need to be suitable for you.

One of the interesting points in the book is that the author puts forward the statement that " waiting for time is a waste of time ", which means that important things do not have to be slow , but sometimes too many choices lead to hesitant, usually when I encounter such a situation. , what I do is to set a time for myself to make a decision, I will tell myself that endlessly spending time in the process of thinking will make myself miss more things worth paying attention to, and the process of trouble and entanglement will also Create negative emotions in yourself, so try not to put it off for too long or you'll lose out.

Some people may say that the phenomenon of "overthinking" is difficult to control by self-control. The author also proposes that the attention of overthinking can be distracted by sports that require concentration , and it can also enhance vitality and improve mood at the same time. If you calm down When sitting in front of the desk, you can also write your thoughts on paper and then tear them into pieces and throw them away, symbolizing that the matter has been resolved. Don’t write down all the turbulent emotions on the paper in a long speech. This will strengthen the neural circuits of the brain and keep ruminating and repeating. thinking has the opposite effect.

I think each of us should be the master of thinking, and we should also have the confidence to control our thinking . Don’t always use our innate characteristics that are easy to think too much as a shield that we don’t want to change. Through conscious adjustment and openness of mind It can really improve , and this book not only provides many detailed solutions, but also tells us that it is okay to add some fun to the established routine of life, we should open our hearts to accept the infinite possibilities of this world, And in every thinking and decision-making process, I have tempered courage, and I look forward to experiencing a rich life.

If you are also caught in the whirlpool of overthinking and eager to grab the driftwood, this book will help you get rid of the captives of your thoughts, unblock the overloaded information one by one, and naturally relieve your inner insecurities and fears. After purification, we can be more grateful for life.