Dear grandpa, wish you a good life on the other side of the sky

2022.02.20 Starting Matters

That was something my brother told me to know. On the other end of the phone, it was my mother's choked voice.

Her father, my grandfather, is gone.

The night before, I couldn’t get enough of writing, so I picked up a literature award portfolio and read one of the novels, “That Summer, You Called”, recalling the daily life of my granddaughter and grandfather from a first-person perspective. For elders, the young granddaughter was always a little impatient and perfunctory, and she didn't really start to miss it until she really left.

The next day I received that call, and the call from that summer, corresponding to me, was New Year's Eve that year.

When a person reaches a certain age, he will definitely realize that life and death are far away than imagined, especially, it is a familiar person, a person who has spoken well.

My college friend passed away in a car accident the other day (1/28), and I haven't fully recovered from the shock and consternation.

Three days later, my grandfather also left.

The weather went south that day. There were no traffic jams, no sharp horns, and it was very quiet. The same is true at night. There is no passing car on the two-lane road, only the lights illuminating the road.

Grandpa's house too, quietly, as usual.

The cold sea breeze blew through the lonely countryside, and the red lanterns outside the ancient house swayed and swayed with the wind. It was nominally a kind of joy, and the atmosphere had long been blown away by the wind.

Everyone was silent.

Grandpa's mourning hall is bright and bright, and the photo is still him in my memory. It has always been like that.

The mage took his place, rang the bell and chanted sutras. In the fragrance of the fragrance, I seemed to see that familiar figure standing behind the screen door in the past...

"Grandpa!"

"Ami, come back!"

Grandpa was hard of hearing, so he had to shout loudly every time he went back. Sometimes the TV at home turned too loud, and even after shouting a few times in a row, my grandfather stuck his head out.

When I was young, I was actually afraid of my grandfather. He had a majestic face and a loud voice. Afraid of life, I often hide from elders other than my parents, let alone my grandfather. My mother always warned that children should never go to grandpa's room to play, he would get angry, and I would not dare to approach him.

Only later did I hear from my mother that I was the only granddaughter who was held by my grandfather and took me to the temple fair to drill under the sedan chair.

Drilling the bottom of the sedan chair is, to be more precise, the Drilling Centipede Array (Art Pavilion). Among the five incense families in Tainan, the centipede array is the highlight of the temple fair. Children play the role of prodigies and sit on the nearly 200-meter-long art pavilion.

Usually, when the people see the centipede formation near their house, they will also get down on the ground and get through the bottom of the formation. One of the taboos is that the zodiac cannot be a Rooster, because the Rooster pecks the centipede.

My grandfather was a rooster, but he didn't care about it at all. He hugged me, who was still very young at the time, and got through the centipede array. When others discouraged him, he just smiled.

This is something submerged in the deep sea of memory. It turns out that my grandfather has such a warm and distressed side to Sun.

Later, when I went to college, the mid-term assignment for a class was to ask my classmates to visit their elders at home and write a family history. Because my grandparents have long since passed away, my grandparents are the best candidates to be interviewed, and their experience is also worth recording - they used to be the salt workers in the salt field.

The old man seemed to be very interested in telling the ancients, especially his grandfather, who said that he had seen Japanese planes crash in the nearby Yantian, and had seen more than a dozen American planes fly out from the horizon and drop dozens of bombs. After getting married, in order to raise a child, I dry salt and raise fish during the day, and repair water-drawing windmills after get off work. From morning to night, my relatives rarely care about it. Tired.

"Fuck your mother!"

My grandfather suddenly burst out with a swear word full of rage, which shocked me a lot when I was fascinated by the story.

This is the first and last time I've heard him speak foul language.

Before leaving the interview, Grandpa suddenly turned around and walked into the room. Not long after, he took out a blue bill and stuffed it into my hand, telling me to study hard.

This is also the first time I have received pocket money from my grandfather.

"It's past 9 o'clock in the evening, let's light some incense, and tell Grandpa that we are going to rest." Auntie said.

My grandfather usually turned off the lights and went to bed after 7 pm. On New Year's Eve this year, not only the lights were bright, but he also stayed up late with our children and grandchildren.

That's how he looked at everyone. The elder brother said that for a moment, he saw his grandfather smiling.

I didn't realize until I grew up that there was a smile curve under the majestic face.

Once, on a whim, I cut my long hair, which I had kept for decades, into short hair for boys. A few days later, with neat and handsome hair and a long black dress, I went back to my grandfather's house for dinner with my mother and the others.

His reaction that day was not particularly surprising. Chatting as usual, the volume of the TV was as loud as that of a movie theater. He said to his brother, "Hurry up and eat, the lady has finished eating", and then continued chatting.

"Grandpa, we are going home!"

"Hey, are you A Meizi?!"

Grandpa giggled. It turned out that the young lady he just mentioned was treating me as his brother's girlfriend, and that "grandpa" made him realize that it was his granddaughter.

I didn't expect my grandfather to be shy too.

Not long after I met my boyfriend, I took him back to the southern countryside to find my mother. At that time, my grandmother had mild symptoms of Alzheimer's, and my mother lived at her parents' house to take care of her.

This time, my grandfather didn't misidentify anyone, he just sat across from him without saying a word, looked at us, stared at his boyfriend, and smiled shyly.

My mother gave us a wink and said to go outside to hang out. After walking out for a few seconds, the surround sound like a cinema immediately came from the house.

It turned out that my grandfather was embarrassed to say that he wanted to watch the news.

After New Year's Eve, the TV at home also went quiet. Outside of chanting, everyone sits around and folds simple ingots like sushi rolls, holding them in the left hand and rolling them in the right hand. After the two ends of the gold paper are folded inward, continue to fold the next one.

Everyone didn't talk much. Maybe they were not familiar with each other, maybe they were studying the right way to fold. The ingots on the table were different in size and shape, like sushi rolls, becoming more like sushi rolls.

In silence, watching everyone fold ingots became my only pleasure. The reference ingot style is one, and the speed of origami paper is another.

Yuanbao sushi rolls later became Yuanbaohua. At first, the staff of the etiquette society didn't plan to teach everyone, saying that it was too difficult to fold, but the samples they folded were used by us to disassemble and study, and they were successfully copied. Not only that, my cousin also estimated that the dog has come up with another more complex and three-dimensional way of folding ingots. We laughed and said, so that my grandfather does not have to change money all the time, and there is no exchange rate problem.

Grandpa, gold and silver ingots are for you to enter the new house.

Your new house is a two-story mansion with Mercedes, iPhone, computer, and a beautiful courtyard. You don't have to worry about being too extravagant or spending too much money.

You don't have to be good to yourself anymore.

"What kind of shirt are you wearing!"

"Ahnaka cool!"

In the afternoon several years ago, my grandfather was wearing a white short T that was so torn that the chest was bare and the back was exposed. He said that he was going to water the vegetable garden. When my grandmother saw it, she stretched out her hand to tear the dress, and my grandfather flashed a smile.

He said, you can wear it and don't be too particular about it. He has always been like this.

Always.

From youth to retirement to old age, my grandfather has been reluctant to eat well, dress well, and use it well. Enough living is the greatest satisfaction for him; occasionally, when he is free, he goes to hang out with relatives next door, or sing and sing at karaoke at the entrance of the temple. Others, he does not ask much.

"Grandpa likes wearing this coat very much."

At noon that day, the staff of the etiquette club asked us to prepare a few pieces of my grandfather's clothes. We searched for a round, but only picked out a few thin summer clothes. Later, my cousin found a sports jacket with Dingshan Daitianfu printed on it.

Mother felt that it was not enough, and said that she would pick a few more pieces for him, and went in to rummage for clothes. I followed her footsteps and stepped into my grandfather's room for the first time.

The years seem to have stayed here forever.

The calendar hanging opposite the bed is the advertising calendar of the car dealership in 1981. The wardrobe and desk in the room exude a faint retro taste of wood. In the corner of the drawer, there is also the salary bag that my grandfather worked in the salt field 30 years ago.

At that moment, I suddenly understood my mother's admonition at the time that my grandfather's room was filled with his memories, which were more precious than any money, and no one could touch them arbitrarily.

The person you love doesn't know if you dare to listen

Finally, the time has come to actually say goodbye.

It was a gloomy morning on the day of the farewell ceremony, and the coolness of falling rain at any time was accompanied by the sea breeze, but the raindrops did not really fall.

The etiquette club helped my grandfather P with a human-shaped standing card in a straight suit, and surrounded him with a lotus flower full of flowers, very solemn and peaceful.

From the New Year's Eve to the present, the lanterns floated lonely in the wind, the red joy of the New Year, but the feeling at this moment is silent mourning.

Everyone was also quiet, gathered up their emotions, held back their tears, went through the process of laying down the ceremony, and then quietly sent Grandpa off for the last ride.

"If the fire comes, your soul will flicker, and you will come home with us."

The crisp ringtone is like a guide, and in the Liuying Luyuan where yin and yang souls coexist, gently light a bright lamp to illuminate the way home.

Grandpa, you have to follow us.

Back to Qigu, the sky also cleared up.

After placing my grandfather's ashes and walking out of the ossuary hall, the sky outside is a clean blue sky, calm and calm, everything is so peaceful.

It is complete.

When I went home for the funeral, I once thought it was going back to my hometown for the New Year, listening to my grandfather talking about ancient times, watching TV with him, and having a reunion dinner. After today, the fact that my grandfather left became clearer. The owner of the ancient house was no longer there.

In the past, if you missed it, you could go home and shout; now, when you remember it, you can only whisper.

I miss your face day by day, but why can't I say what I miss?

My brother said that he came to visit his grandfather in the middle of the month. At that time, he had a clear mind, and he could talk and walk without any abnormality, but he would never see him again in less than a month.

My cousin said that because of the epidemic, they who lived in Taipei did not plan to come back for the New Year this year, but my grandfather said it was okay. But on New Year's Eve, he still called everyone back.

My uncle said that my grandfather seemed to know that his time was up. The night before, he specially asked my uncle to go back to sleep with him. After falling dizzy the next morning, he never woke up again.

My grandfather passed away at 5:20 auspicious hours on 1/31, at the age of 90.

5:20, 520, I love you.

we love you too.

Grandpa, the wind is blowing, you have to ride the wind and go to far, far places. There, take good care of yourself and wish you a good life on the other side of the sky.

We'll be fine, and you must too.

I will miss you.

Grandpa.