【Mood Drawer】Answer

18-08-2021

I don't know if anyone else is like this. Although there is no show after work, they just don't want to go home. After leaving the company, I wandered around, with no destination, no special reason, and simply did not want to go home.

After work, I rode a bicycle to the direction of home. Usually I wish I could go home early, but today is different. I involuntarily slowed down the speed while riding, as if I was afraid that I would arrive at the door of my house in the next instant. I can't tell why, there is an inexplicable feeling of emptiness.

When I was about to get home, I even went for a bike ride around the park near my house. I still didn’t want to go home after the ride. Now I’m sitting on a park bench and starting to type this article. I don't know what the final article will be, so let's just go with the flow. .

Looking up, the clouds in the sky were particularly thick, thickened into an uneven gray, and then the whole large piece was blocked in front of the sun. A faint light came out from the gap between the clouds, as if trying very hard to reach out to comfort me and give me some positive energy. However, the cloud layer in front of me was too thick, and no matter how hard it tried, it couldn't get through.

The breeze blowing on my left face was gentle, cool, and very comfortable; in comparison, the inexplicable sadness in my heart became more obvious. It seemed to be blocked by something. I opened my heart and found it was empty. .

The yin and yin days, coupled with the yin and yin mood, the yin and yin of me are full of negative energy.

I don't want to tell Young Master Ye, I don't want to infect him with emotions that I don't even know about myself, and then let him accompany me at a loss and finally the two of them are depressed and unhappy together, it's unfair to him.

Then, let me sit a little longer, let me be alone a little longer, and go home when I have the mask ready.

24-08-21

For many people, my current life is very enviable: living and experiencing different cultures in a western country, having a 9-5 job, not having to go to work on weekends, living in a peaceful country, having three meals a day and having food and clothing I love my other half, my family is healthy, what else can I be dissatisfied with?

But I always feel so empty in my heart, I feel empty in my heart, no passion, no motivation, no direction. . No, nothing. Well, it's like The Walking Dead. Every day is dragged by time, do this now, do that later.

I seem to have everything, but it seems like I have nothing.
I seem to be alive, but I don't seem to be really alive.

What exactly is life?
What is life?
Why am I here now?

I imagined that I was standing in the center of my heart, shouting at the four walls, but only my very disturbed echo echoed in my ears.

Does every question have an answer? Is it possible that some things just don't have an answer?

Or is no answer an answer in itself?

If you see this, thank you very much for reading my little thoughts. Every now and then these things come up and make me feel down, and I don't know what to do with these little emotions. . Some people may think that I am too busy and too free to have time to think about these things. Possibly, maybe. .

But I was wondering if I didn't ask the question to force myself to think about it, would it be when I was 80 years old that I wondered why I was alive? Will it be time to regret why you didn't try to find the answer? Will you find yourself in a hurry at the end of your life, living your life inexplicably? ?