Nomad Project｜If I can do it, please believe that you can too

Self introduction :
This may not be considered a self-introduction, but more of an inner monologue.
I grew up in a traditional family. I don’t want to say it, but I have to admit that the environment and social environment in my early life had a profound impact on my self-perception.
From a young age, it has been instilled that women should marry early and devote themselves to the family. My parents' expectations and society's conventional paths planted the seeds of norms and responsibilities in my subconscious, but over time, these norms began to conflict with my inner desires. Deep within me was a desire for freedom and exploration of the unknown that was antithetical to the values ​​I was raised with.
I tried many times to follow the traditional path, find a stable job, and live a seemingly peaceful life, but this lifestyle left me feeling suffocated and lost. After every effort to adapt, there is a strong urge to stop and get some fresh air.
I tried to stop on a small scale for a while, but every time I stopped, various voices were still echoing in my ears, "How can you live like this while your parents are still suffering?" "You don't want the rest of your life." ", "Why are you so lazy?", "Why don't you work harder?" The inner personality is still constantly blaming and lashing myself.
To be honest, I'm scared. I feel like I can't live well in the moment, and the process of perception is always filled with guilt. At the same time, I still lack courage. If I still have nothing after many years, will I regret and blame myself? Will I also be abandoned by this era? In the end, I also lost myself.
In 2023, I will start the cycle again, but this time I hope to give myself more time and no longer stop just to "feel better". I know I am not a natural adventurer, but I know that only by stepping out of my comfort zone can I find my own way of life.
There are many courageous people in the world who are nomads, and there are also many people who want to be courageous enough to explore themselves. Obviously, I am not the former, I am the ordinary and ordinary person.
I am a complex of contradictions. On the one hand, I hope that I can comply with the regulations and satisfy my parents' expectations, but on the other hand, I hope to find myself. This inner contradiction has become the main driving force in my life journey, pushing me to explore different lifestyles. .

Where I want to go and why <br class="smart">I chose to go to Chiang Mai, Thailand. Thailand is the first country I have arrived in except China. There were many opportunities to go to more places before, but in the end something went wrong.
I wanted to go to Thailand partly because the culture there is diverse and inclusive, providing me with an ideal testing ground to explore myself. In this exotic place, I can temporarily escape from those inner social and family pressures and give myself a space to explore and realize myself freely.
Secondly, I also want to learn English well so that I can see the world better.
At the same time, I believe that through in-depth contact with the local culture, I can better understand my own inner needs and desires, thereby achieving a kind of spiritual balance and self-realization.

Specific nomadic plans :
I want to spend a year studying English in Chiang Mai. At the same time, I can really integrate into the local area and experience the local culture and customs. I also hope to conduct a spiritual exploration and self-healing through this trip. Healing, these activities not only allow me to have a deeper understanding of Thai culture, but also help me realize self-exploration and growth on a psychological level.

Desire to interact with the local area :
I hope to be able to establish deep connections with the local area by participating in local community activities, such as volunteering or cultural exchanges, and going to unknown small places nearby. This interaction not only helps me better understand the local culture, but is also a reciprocity on a psychological level: I can gain growth and satisfaction from it, and at the same time, I hope to have a positive impact on the local community through my contribution.

Record the entire trip plan:
When documenting this journey, I will focus on my psychological changes and growth. I plan to record my thoughts and feelings on the journey through writing and photography, especially those moments of self-discovery and inner change. These records are not only a testimony of my personal journey, but also a record of my inner growth and change.
In this way, I hope to be able to explore myself more deeply, while also providing inspiration and resonance for others with similar inner conflicts and desires to explore.