李怡，1936年生，香港知名時事評論家、作家。1970年曾創辦雜誌《七十年代》，1984年更名《九十年代》，直至1998年停刊。後在《蘋果日報》撰寫專欄，筆耕不輟半世紀。著有文集《放逐》、《思緒》、《對應》等十數本。正在Matters連載首部自傳《失敗者回憶錄》：「我一生所主張所推動的事情，社會總是向相反趨向發展，無論是閱讀，獨立思考或民主自由都如是。這就是我所指的失敗的人生。」

Memoirs of a Loser 194: 2019, a new chapter in life

Sep 13, 2022

I made this decision because I felt that commenting on current affairs was becoming less and less interesting. No matter how reasonable my analysis is, Hong Kong's politics and society will still go in the opposite direction.

At the end of March 2019, I thought I would be 83 in a few days. So I said in the column of "Apple Daily" that in the next five days of the week, I will write about the past events in my life that are worth remembering, and the mental journey along the way. It is not a complete autobiography, but it is my last wish in life to keep some memories.

In other words, the column will no longer comment on current affairs.

A few years ago, Wang Guangya, director of the Hong Kong and Macau Affairs Office, proposed three conditions for the selection of Hong Kong's chief executive: love the country and Hong Kong, have high governance capabilities and social acceptance. There are no criteria for the first two conditions. Whether the country loves the country, loves Hong Kong, and how high the governance capacity is, all depends on the free heart of the leaders of the CCP. However, although there is no quantitative criterion for universal suffrage in terms of social acceptance, at least there are opinion polls. refer to. Therefore, Leung Chun-ying will use the scandal of Tang Yingnian to raise his own opinion polls and make the CCP's excuse for obedient election commissioners to vote for him. However, when the chief executive is re-elected in 2017, the CCP simply does not mention social acceptance, and insists that the election committee give up Tsang Junhua, who has high popularity, and vote for Carrie Lam, who has low popularity. Even if the polls support this one condition, can the chief executive still act without 100% listening to Beijing's words? Not only obedient, but also trying to figure out what to do to meet Beijing's wishes!

Hong Kong's independent judiciary, the rock of Hong Kong's social stability, has also changed its color. In addition to the fact that the new law released by the National People's Congress has retrospective force, the Hong Kong courts have repeatedly increased the sentences on the grounds that the sentences must be "deterrent". In all jurisdictions with sound judiciary, "deterrence" can only be considered as a minor factor in sentencing, otherwise it would violate the spirit of sentencing according to law and become justice serving politics. People will not forget the "strike hard" initiated by Deng Xiaoping in 1983, that is, "severely and severely crack down on criminal crimes", and many misdemeanor cases were sentenced severely, among which there were reports of "stealing one yuan and sentenced to death". With more and more "deterrent" sentences imposed by Hong Kong courts, citizens also lose judicial protection.

These are just two things that come to mind: the chief executive's cult of totalitarianism, and the downward slide of the judiciary. The public opinion in Hong Kong is powerless, let alone I just wrote a small column in a newspaper.

Since the current review can't change anything, I thought of writing a memoir. At least ten years ago, a friend urged me to write an autobiography. My life experience is insignificant, but it is both fortunate and unfortunate that I live in a time of great change in China, Taiwan and Hong Kong, and I am in the midst of a sensitive media that observes, reports and comments on these three great changes. , experiencing the era when Hong Kong was most able to freely report the situation on both sides of the Taiwan Strait, and also saw the loss of press freedom in Hong Kong. My background, work, family, and tangle at intersections are also special. I want to leave myself a few slush claws in my lifetime.

At 83, maybe it's too late. But at least start doing it to fulfill your last wish.

I wrote several articles, and suddenly received a call from Li Zhiying in early April 2019. He said he wanted to discuss with me whether he could temporarily stop writing his memoirs for a few days and comment on the revision of the "Fugitive Offenders Ordinance" in Hong Kong. I said I have written one before. He said that he had just arrived in Taiwan, and a Taiwanese friend told him on the same plane that he would like to see me comment on this matter. Not someone else, but specifically to see me write. I said yes. Li Zhiying even said thank you, please.

In the more than 20 years of writing for "Apple", Boss Li almost never told me what to write. This time on the phone, it was obvious that he was very concerned about this matter. In fact, the development of events has also made me more and more concerned.

Unexpectedly, this writing is not only a few days, but a whole year. It wasn't that Jimmy Lai asked me to write, but I was moved by a turbulent anti-extradition movement, which made me no longer in the mood to cherish the past. Every day, I am drawn to what is happening in society. I cannot help writing my own feelings and comments on current events, and I am constantly examining my existing concepts due to changes in the current situation.

This year I have awakened in a lot of cognitions. I put aside my wish to write a memoir, because at that time, I felt that my past experiences were not so important. The new understanding has changed my perception of Hong Kong and Hong Kong people, especially the younger generation, who have lived for more than 70 years. The whole process of the anti-extradition movement was like a great inspiration, which gave me a new awakening to the course of my life. This is a new chapter in my old life. No matter what I do in the future, including writing a memoir, this chapter is so important to my thinking and writing.

Although writing a political essay requires rationality, what a person does and which path he takes is often governed by emotion rather than reason. I put down my memoirs because something spectacular happened right in front of my eyes, and people cannot do what they want to do without being emotionally motivated. People can resist many things, but they cannot resist feelings.

Next, I will write about the meaningful Hong Kong 2019. Various media have reported a lot about what happened this year. I also published a book "Hong Kong Awakening". Here, I won't repeat the well-known things, but I will write down the origin of things and several important changes in my perception.