you should be selfish

Life is only a few decades, and you are wasting your life by focusing on the past that will never be repeated, or on the future that is still unknown. Your time is actually very limited and short. In this precious time, if you can't focus on yourself, you have to pay too much attention to others. Many people's desire to please others, or temporarily forbearance, is actually a kind of inertia. The so-called forbearance should be to temporarily abandon the current short-term goal for the sake of a more long-term goal. But many times, your forbearance is contributed to a bunch of bullshit makers. Those who disgust you are not and will not be the ones who will help you in your life. They are just pure disgusting people, or people with different values. You don't have to try to please them too much, just keep the normal mutual respect. But if you want to give up your own interests or give your own time for the interests of the other party, it is really unnecessary. Time flies, not concentrating on yourself and dedicating to boring people is really putting the cart before the horse.

Life is impermanent, the things that should be concentrated and the friends who can communicate with each other should be a very small number. And if you find that your energy is constantly draining, and your time is wasted in unnecessary communication friction, you should be alert and let yourself return to the right path.

Everyone is busy and everyone needs to take care of himself. If you focus your energy on caring about others, who cares about yourself? Are you constantly sacrificing and giving up your vested interests, starving and giving up good living conditions, just for the so-called struggle? Who promised you this struggle and the rewards that come with it? It is very likely that the state of these struggles and the promised rewards are just poplar stories in his mouth. I think I'm thinking independently, but I'm just following the crowd. It is famous in history and lingering on forever, but it is just a popular story given to you by "history".

The thickness of your life, the taste of your life, is actually contained in your every day, and your experience of the taste of every day. The taste of this day after day, whether it tastes sweet or salty, is only known to you. And every day, whether you should eat salty, sweet, or spicy, only your body and your spirit can tell you. The so-called imaginary story, of course, also includes your judgment on yourself every day, and your judgment on your sense of accomplishment. Do you have to work hard and strive in a high-pressure environment? Or, do you have to be a good leader to manage a group of people? Or, do you have to make a lot of money to be happy? I think these answers should be told by your heart, answered by your perception of each day.

Everyone wants to make a difference, but this is a very vague description. Some people's actions are very in line with poplar stories, that is, as much money and sister paper as possible. Some people's sense of achievement comes from the ability to continuously display their creativity. At this time, even if the number in the bank card is constantly rising, he feels like he is sitting on pins and needles. Some people's sense of accomplishment comes from creating products they touch. Even if they have a group of subordinates who can be controlled by them, they feel like a bird in captivity. Some people's sense of achievement comes from providing a relatively stable sense of security for their family members, and living with their family members is his pursuit. At this time, even if he owns several listed companies, he just feels like a torn personality, and he is separated in different places.

I think whether these standards are imposed on you by others or come from within you can only be judged by how you feel each day. People who like to create, sitting in front of the computer all day writing code and retouching pictures, will make them feel that their potential is released, their talents can be displayed, and every day is hearty. But the same method is applied to other people who crave social connection, and every day is a prison in isolation, restless and broken.

I once met a friend in Chengdu who was willing to give up the high-paying life in a first-tier city and return to Chengdu in order to invite friends to eat hot pot after get off work. I think this is a very clear judgment of your popular story. Knowing yourself through joys and sorrows, whether your state can make your life full and indulgent is not determined by the irreproducible past or the illusory future, but by how you feel every day. These repeated daily lessons build up your evaluation of life, your evaluation of your own life.

Being selfish and thinking more about yourself also means you don't cherish feathers too much and cherish your reputation. In many cases, these stigma and infamy are precisely the reason why one is not free and unknowingly dominated by others. To cherish feathers and not bear the slightest infamy on oneself is a form of vulnerability. In this way, if anyone deliberately creates a little rumor, or deliberately spoils your reputation, or fabricates some lies for you at will, you will be in a panic and be slaughtered by others.

The real anti-fragile approach should be to be able to live in harmony with infamy and insults, to exercise the temperament of dead pigs that are not afraid of boiling water, and to analyze and judge calmly. If it is found to be false, there is no need to rush to refute or clarify, and properly absorb some dirty water, but it can improve your "anti-fragility" better.

By being selfish like this, you can get rid of a lot of unhappiness and resentment. You don't get suffocated by someone's slander, and you don't ruin your day for someone's slander. You just need to focus more selfishly on your current understanding, gains and losses, so that you don’t punish yourself for the sins of others.

Focus on what matters. Cut all the bullshit.

recent review

" Most of the thinking is meaningless fantasy "

《 BBQ - 2020.02.16 》

" Different Channel Characteristics of Information Input/Output "



If you like my article or share, please long press the QR code below to follow my WeChat public account, thank you!

For more information exchange and viewpoint sharing, you can join Knowledge Planet: