HJ|Chaos to Cosmos
HJ|Chaos to Cosmos

我們不說再見,我們在路上見|https://liker.land/redisyoyo/civic 多感善愁、哲思玄想與永遠拒絕政治正確的小天地 Chaos意即混亂、混沌,Cosmos代表規律、秩序的宇宙 寫作,對我而言,便是從雜多當中找回理解與共感的可能

Chaos Daily Essays | Turning Points in Life: From Third Person to First Person

(edited)
This was a turning point in my life, a turning point in learning to love someone.

It was the first time I participated in the Matters community activity. I read several articles that participated in the activity and inspired a lot of inspiration. Among them, I read two particularly moving articles, which are the articles I linked.

In contrast, the two creators have a wealth of life experience. They have a slash life mixed with the noise of children and bank bells, or they have an enviable discussion about what a happy married life is.

The author's life seems to be beginning to learn how to integrate with society, and the two stories told by time may also be difficult for young people to understand.

However, as a 22-year-old young man who has not only been told once that he is too mature and sophisticated, but has been misunderstood as a "teacher" by administrative colleagues around 30 years old on the university campus many times.

I think it's not surprising that I, who is so mature in front of everyone, can empathize with these stories.

However, in the face of feelings, I always completely let go of my restraint or persistence in front of that person, and give my most sincere feelings without reservation.

There is no pragmatic story facing the society, no intrigue in the workplace, and no ambiguous mutual testing. When facing that person as a precocious teenager, the little boy hidden deep in his heart finally revealed his true identity.

This was a turning point in my life, a turning point in learning to love.

Related to another of my own works is to tell stories from bystanders, and this one I want to start from myself, write those words that are too subjective, reject the possibility of being objective or neutral, and what I want is absolute intuition and No cover up.

The meeting with him was prepared in our institute, and the former cadres of the university community organized the training for the new cadres. As a senior and an event staff member, I naturally assumed the position of team assistant.

He is my player, and my first impression of him is that he is kind and simple.

In the course segment discussing "Aim and Goals of the Society", he said that as the new president, the goal he most wants to achieve is to bring warmth to people, hoping to give the members a "home" feeling.

When the old-fashioned senior was leading the discussion, he heard the answer and said with a smile, "It's a lovely goal, I hope you can achieve it. Well, what about the next one?"

At that time, the answer I was looking forward to hearing was the standard answer if the goal was "concrete and clear", and the deep muttering behind the "cute" sentence: another person who can't hold events.

In the past, I often over-categorized the people I met. I would classify him as someone who "couldn't talk to me", and would contemptuously label him as "pursuing Xiaojiabiyu and Xiaozheng".

However, if love can be predicted and develop as I expected, maybe he has lost the key to my fascination.

What makes me fall in love is not the various ideal standards I originally set: not younger than me, not too mild in personality, not optimistic about human nature...

No one would have thought that the man who made my heart flutter never met the above "self-imposed" standards, yet he has the drive to keep me pursuing better and more love.

Unfortunately, he never had the same emotion for me. After being rejected more than once and officially announcing my breakup, I had a delusional thought in the middle of the night: Was it possible that these things would not have happened without meeting him?

If you don't participate in the event preparation, you won't meet him, if you haven't been a cadre as a senior, you don't need to prepare for the event, if you don't perform well, will you not be a cadre...?

Self-denial on the edge of madness and out of control, at the extreme: Shouldn't you just not go to college or be born?

The late night of May 20 this year was a turning point in my life. It was I who decided to let him go free and no longer love him and pursue him with the love that I lost.

It was me who decided to let go of myself, learn to love someone, and learn how to love myself. The turning point is only a second, a moment, a decision, when I decide to make myself happy and make my tenderness more precious.

I think this is a turning point in my life.



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