what is best

What is best for children?

What is the best thing to do?

what should i do?

How can I be sure I'm doing it right?

How can I be sure I'm making the best decision for my child?

How can I not make the wrong decision?

Why do I think it is the best, but the child is unwilling to do it?

Why can't I get my child's cooperation in anything I do?

Why do I get no reward for all my hard work?

What should I do? what should I do?

The above questions have been popping up in my mind from time to time for more than ten years...I can't get rid of...how should I deal with it...Can anyone help me?

I've only recently discovered that...the appearance and recurrence of these problems...is really just an indication...that we are all working together in a way that emphasizes "problem analysis, problem solving, success, devaluation/acceptance of failure, achievement, socialization. Education..." but lacks "equal emotional support, respect for the uniqueness of life, free and autonomous space, recognition of what each life chooses to experience, humanized and nurturing education...".

So all of us didn't get the "true self/inner strength" that we were born with and fully developed in childhood, so we were lost a lot of the time because we didn't develop the deep connection and trust with ourselves. . Therefore, when we grow up and face people and things, we will have a lot of doubts, loss, lack of confidence, and don't know what to do...

Now after spending ten years with Pei Yan, I only understand... We doubt, lose, what is right, fear of failure, sense of loss in life, sense of powerlessness in life... We are all "achieving" us become better!

When these problems arise, now I will:

1) Take a deep breath first, calm down, rest for a while (maybe too tired) (bring yourself back to the present moment)

2) Ask yourself what's going on inside right now (maybe because of anxiety/time crunch/feeling no choice)

3) Try to identify the thoughts/emotions that are going on inside at the moment...what I "really" can/need to do right now to soothe (sometimes it may be rest, calm down, leave, decide, pause...)

4) If you have time/space, allow yourself to deal with the emotional or physical discomfort in the process first...before you deal/choose

5) If you feel that you need to deal with it immediately, you may try to write down the problems, feelings, choices, considerations... to help yourself organize and decide, believe that you have done your best to do this, and then have a good rest💓

Personal thoughts:

There is no best or worst decision

only this moment, this moment

Focus on what you are feeling at the moment

Listen to your inner voice

Take a deep breath and feel it

self here and now

Choose based on intuition and feeling

It's the most appropriate now

Even if it is later found to be inappropriate

you have done your best

Appreciate and embrace yourself

forgive yourself all

Because it was the best decision

The best you could do then

That's enough

you have lived the most beautiful you

Other criticisms are no longer important

It's important that you know when

you are really loving

do what you know

enough is enough

Enjoy yourself every moment

Because every moment makes you

This is a related article written a year ago, and I'm sharing it again here:

"What decision is the best? ! 》🤨

It is believed that many fellow travelers will enter the "contradiction, doubt and anxiety period" after receiving the advice of a psychologist or doctor after the child is evaluated for a confirmed rash:

1) Don't know how to choose for kids

2) Do not know which is the most appropriate method

3) Worrying about making the wrong choice and harming the child

4) The large expenditure of intensive training places a heavy burden on the family

5) The psychological load on oneself and family members increases sharply

6) Should I give up my job to take care of my children full-time

 … 10,000 questions… 10,000 worries…

...but can't find the absolute answer...it's easy to become confused!

...it's "completely normal" ... don't worry!

Ten years later, I...finally understand...

 …there is no best or worst option…

It is enough to choose according to the current state!

But I found out...why do I have so many doubts and worries? My personal feeling is... it turns out that I was...

1) Never deeply understand, recognize and face their inner fears

2) So I didn't know that I should first understand the child's own ability and inner real needs.

3) Growing up in the popular education and social system, I lost the "ability to think independently" and the "confidence of being able to handle it" unknowingly.

4) Only the familiar habit of following the direction of others

5) I have not developed my own unique beliefs to live with

6) I often doubt and criticize my own abilities and decisions

But at the same time...without the me of yesterday...how can I be the me of today?

Unconsciously...my heart has been transformed with different experiences🥰

And in the end...as the person who came here...

Say with certainty to everyone:

It doesn't matter what you do... there is no absolute good or bad...

What kind of encounters and choices come with "good intentions"...

Because... through the process of choice and experience...

Learn more about your thoughts, fears, desires, abilities…

Thus, in the "now of every moment"...dedicated to live...

With this "awareness"...it is enough...

Even though it seemed at the time that "I am not aware"...

I have always accompanied "myself" to this day...so...

I now understand and believe "don't be afraid" now!

I firmly believe that every life will try its best to make themselves live well!

If you're too worried, just look up at the sky and take a deep breath...

Use your whole body to feel...the moment of being alive...

Everything will flow...just feel the mind...

Sometimes I find...now the "heart" is attached to a certain good...

Now the "heart" is very anxious that negative things will keep happening...

Smile when you are attached...Smile when you let go...Not bad

Bless you all... always accompany your inner child or inner child🌹

Walk through and enjoy life together 🌸 Realize the life of your dreams

#Attach a photo made by my daughter to make you smile 😂

#Recently my daughter shaved her eyebrows with her dad's razor

#later found out that shaving eyebrows is to perfectly paint white eyebrows

#eyebrows will grow

#ideas always flow