no more cheer 🍃

I have many friends and hear my story with my daughter

will say to me:

"Come on! Don't worry...it will get better slowly!"

I know the etiquette of the educational process or society...

Will use the above words to care, support and encourage others

I understand very well...because I often use...

But every time I hear the word "Come on"...

I will instantly feel myself at the same time:

"I'm not good enough now... I can work harder!"

This positive word for "Come on"...to me...

Brings a "hurt... hurt feeling"

why? Where did it come from?

In the past, I would mistakenly think that others are expressing "I can work harder, I will continue to work hard"... It feels as if this "come on" is "ignoring" my past and current efforts and the pain and powerlessness I have endured...

Over time, I realized... these feelings "have nothing to do with others"... I believe that others are caring about me, encouraging me,  affirming my efforts, appreciating my efforts, and appreciating my dedication to my daughter... At this time, I was able to start to feel "warmth and love" when I heard "Come on", transforming the "criticism, negativity, neglect, I'm not good enough, I'm not doing enough, I'm okay." Work harder" "inner distorted beliefs or self-evaluation", understand that these feelings are just reflections of the trauma that has been hurt by others' criticism.

The reason is just because in childhood and growing up, I was very sensitive to the "negative evaluation" of others...mostly it was this kind of "refueling" encouragement...These words hurt my heart a lot...even if there is a small amount I can’t believe… I have “worked hard enough”… My existence is enough… I am unique… And these patterns that are constantly formed and accumulated in my heart have also formed the way I have always been To use the method of "pleasing others" to add a "sense of value" to oneself, and unknowingly go further and "ignore the need to know and feel oneself"!

But also because I used to be like this, through my daughter Pei Yan's "Live Yourself", it illuminates me, and under the "extreme/sacrificial" efforts... I found... It's not that I'm not working hard enough... It's not that I'm not good enough ...not the lack of daughters...not the problem of daughters...actually...

We are each other's life partners...

Pei Yan is here to remind me how to live my life...

I'm here to accompany her through negative emotions...

We exist for spiritual growth...

They agreed with each other how to help each other...

What happened is the best arrangement for us 💕

My deepest feelings: 🙂🌈

For me, the biggest cheer

Just... don't try hard anymore

Believe that you are enough, you are good enough

Don't bother trying to prove yourself

To accompany the feelings that emerge every moment

Accepting what happened is the best arrangement

Follow your own life blueprint

hug yourself quietly

love yourself quietly

Live your life to the fullest 💕

Treat others the same way you treat yourself

This is how I "love" 😇🙏🏻💕

#Thanks to all of you who said cheers to me

#I now accept the word cheer

#happy to share this trauma here

#trauma is love incarnate