adolescence

I write records a lot. The log will be updated online, and the diary will be written offline. But I rarely write essays and novels. I only write when I want to enter a competition or when someone invites me to write. There are only a handful of completed works. I will move here one by one and write about my motivation for writing these stories by the way.

I think these are worth recording, because inspiration can be found everywhere, and what is lacking is my own dullness and sharp eyes. Many times, I still remember the reasons why I wrote these words at that time.

What I want to write this time is the one I posted earlier: a novel I wrote when I was 18 .

If you haven't read that one, remember to read it first.

The title is called Qing Geng, and I named it after the first word of adolescence and menopause . At that time, I didn't think about the topic in particular, because it was really difficult to think of a satisfactory topic, so I took a strange name. Strange and ordinary, I choose strange.

This article was born because I decided not to continue taking Chinese in Form 6 and officially switched to science.

In Form 6, my friends who speak Chinese are still inviting me to write articles. The Chinese class in her school publishes publications every year. She is saying that if the work can be published, it can make up for my regret that I can't continue to take Chinese.

In fact, there is no regret in choosing things. I like biology more than Chinese, so I gave up Chinese. I can't study biology by myself, but I can read Chinese. I can read books I like and write what I want. So far, I have never questioned the choices I made at that time, and I am quite satisfied with my current life. Creatures are really interesting.

That one was written a month before the STPM exam. Strange to say, I finished it in one day, and it went very smoothly. I didn't think much about it when I wrote it. Before I wrote it, I didn't even know if my writing would be prose or fiction. I actually call it a novel, just because it's not prose, but it doesn't look like a novel either, haha.

I'm a huge fan of anonymous posting, like now. It's too burdensome for me to be read by people I know. I can't stand analysis, and I don't like being analyzed. The things that limit my actions and thinking, I don't do.

There are a lot of things I want to say, so I'll just say it here. Thank you for reading this line.

The first stage of adolescence: buying underwear

Starting to wear vests and underwear was a watershed moment in my life, separating childhood from adolescence.

From the age of 10, the school's physical fitness textbooks have some content about the developmental period. I remember menstruation and nocturnal emission. At that time, I was very keen to collect that kind of consultation, but I didn't dare to ask adults directly. I was just discussing with girls and friends.

No one is born to choose underwear. The first underwear must be chosen by the mother. In fact, it takes a while to wear it before you can feel it, because at that time, there was no concept of "comfortable underwear".

I remember I started wearing vests when I was 10 and I asked my mom to buy them because I saw the girls around me were already wearing them and I wanted to join them. At that time, I didn't think it was hot to wear a vest, everyone felt very proud and worthy of showing off (somehow? XD).

When I was 10 years old, I am now 23 years old. I don’t wear underwear very often. I don’t wear it when I don’t go out, and I don’t wear clothes that are thick enough. Why don’t I wash one less underwear. It's uncomfortable to be strangled, and I don't like it. I can't actually buy comfortable underwear, my bust size doesn't compare to my bra size, and my bra holds more air than my breasts. too difficult.

When I was in middle school, when I was shopping in a shopping mall, I saw a mother calling her daughter to try on underwear with a loud voice. I still remember the girl's expression, she was so red that tears rolled in her eyes. She should be embarrassed. It was already embarrassing to start wearing underwear, and the mother's attention-grabbing and impatient yelling made it worse. If only the mother could worry a little about her child's mood.

Adolescence Stage 2: Receiving Love Letters

If someone said he didn't receive love letters, I would definitely believe it, because not everyone will have the experience of idol drama plots. I am an ordinary girl, and there are ordinary girls around me.

I have received love letters, but they are from girls. There are three in total.

Attracting people who didn't intend to attract them can be called surprises and surprises. Then figured out how to deal with it. I was 15 years old at the time, and she said that I was impressed by my smile when I danced on stage.

I can't recall when I looked back and smiled. I hated it at the time. Yes, my attitude is very wrong. I despise myself because I am liked by the same sex. I despise why I am not attracted to boys; I despise why she likes someone just because of a look back and a smile. I don't know why I have that mentality. Now, I am very grateful to her, because I have only received love letters from her. Thanks for her liking.

Also, liking someone can be a very sudden thing, not a casual problem.

Third stage of adolescence: parental discord

If the parents are not in harmony, it has nothing to do with the child. The child does not need to blame himself, it is just a matter of their relationship. But their emotional problems involved family harmony.

In the beginning, I was extremely uncomfortable. Everyone’s family was very harmonious. Why was mine like this? When I was in middle school, my mind was fragile and sensitive in adolescence. I cried countless nights in bed. I didn't tell anyone about my family problems because I was ashamed to talk about it, and there was a family scandal that I couldn't tell. When I went to college and left my hometown, it was easy to talk about it. I told two girls who were very close to me about it. One of the girls was my roommate who slept next to me for three semesters; the other was a roommate of mine whose parents were separated and it was nice to find someone in the same situation to talk to.

I don't like my mom complaining about my dad. She likes to look through old accounts and say things that I don't know and don't remember. My dad didn't like my mom going to get giveaways and haggle all the time. He said that taking advantage is not a good thing, and my mother said that if you don't take it, you won't take it for nothing. After that, they didn't go out together.

I complained that my parents didn't care about their children's mood, and at the same time I was glad that they gave birth to siblings for me. As children of the same parents, our positions are similar enough. I felt relieved when I thought that there was still someone with me in this smog.

My mom's affair is the most unacceptable thing to me. The elder brother said, to be considerate of mother. I don't understand, I'm broken, why should I be considerate of a person who is having an affair. Later, I listened to my elder brother's analysis and said that my mother had suffered grievances. After listening and listening, I gradually felt excusable.

My dad on the other side, because his wife was having an affair, said that she was flirtatious (off topic, that was the first time I heard my dad say idioms). My mother wanted a divorce, but he didn't give it. I was worried that she would take all the money and ignore us. Watching them quarrel and cry at that time was really exhausting. My dad kept an empty shell for dignity.

Well, now I think I'm getting used to it pretty well. Occasionally talk to my mother about her boyfriend; talk to my father about daily life.

Looking at my parents, I also learned something. People are born to experience, don't run away.

Stage 4 of adolescence: I'm cute and short

I have no idea about height. I am 155cm, which seems quite short, but I am not disabled, so I am very happy. As I get older, I hear more and more unfortunate news and stories, and I am more grateful that I have healthy limbs and no pain.

Many girls around me will discuss the ideal height for a future boyfriend. I can't imagine, for example, maybe a boy of 170 is half a head taller than me, or something like that. I think I'm so short, it's not difficult to find a boyfriend who is taller than me. Height is not distance, even if he is shorter than me, I like him more than anything.

The fifth paragraph of adolescence: Whose youth is not confused

After graduating from high school, I was so ignorant that I missed out on some scholarships. In the end, I followed in the footsteps of my elder brother and went to STPM.

When I was in middle school, I had no idea about further education. I also think I am amazing, how can I not plan for the future. At that time, I felt that SPM was bigger than the sky.

Later, when I was in STPM, I slowly thought about a way out. Fortunately, my parents did not interfere much with my choice.

Like now that I am in the last semester of college, I am also quite confused. I am looking for an internship location, and then I have to think about whether to continue my studies or work after graduation.

The sixth stage of adolescence: I also have a working life

I've worked as a tutor and as a farm employee, and honestly, I didn't really like it.

I chose a tutor because of my mother's encouragement. At that time, I had no opinion and didn't like the chattering of elementary school children, but I persisted for three months. I chose farm employees because I have friends to accompany me. I like many animals on the farm, but I was assigned as a floor sweeper. XD My education is not bad, but the boss lacked floor sweepers at that time. I was on the farm for two months.

So ha, it is very important to find a job that you like and suitable for, I know it is difficult, but try your best.

Menopause: These are all my imaginations, after all, I'm only 18 years old hahahaha

I remember that I was afraid of getting married before because I saw the embarrassment of my parents. Later, I couldn't recall what I had experienced, or which passage I had read, which changed my mind. I felt that it was a great thing to find someone I liked for a long time, so I began to look forward to it again. Life repeats itself.

The ending is quite comfortable, at least I think so, I don't like tragedies, so I can't write tragedies.

I have been watching the news very little, and I know very little about current affairs. I only want to know what interests me. The news is often reporting bad things. I can easily be influenced when I see it. The tactics of those politicians, how bad the environment is, and which beast has done what, I am not happy when I read it. But not stocking up on current affairs is a bad thing, and I realize I'm still trying to figure out how to start watching the news.