Middle-aged and unemployed ___ Anna and Pine Nuts

The Korean drama "Anna" plays Li Yumo, a smart and innocent girl who thinks that her efforts will bear fruit, and that her relationship with the school teacher will be a matter of course. Like a fairy tale in this society, she conquers everything with love and believes that justice is fair. , the world's values are as written in textbooks. She gave up ballet because of poverty. When her relationship was made public, she could only bear the blame compared to the teacher with social status. She transferred to another school in a hurry and ran away in the middle of the night.

She has no education background in society, and nothing goes smoothly. She can only be a member of a class system from a powerless and powerful family, and she is humbled and humiliated by the directors of the upper class.

She once pretended to be a freshman in the art department in college, faked her parents who were doing business in the United States, had a sweet relationship with the seniors, and made many friends. That should be a rare happy time for her to be accepted and loved. Lies keep falling like snowflakes, some dissolve easily and disappear, and some snow requires many lies to be stacked on top of each other. She tasted the sweetness, and ate the evil. Just before going to study in the United States with the senior who was talking about marriage, the senior's mother discovered that everything about Li Yumo was false or even nothing. Once again, Li Yumo was abandoned.

What's wrong with her? It's just that he doesn't have a prominent identity, so no matter how hard he tries, he is always turned away. She later found work as a domestic servant and private secretary for a wealthy family. In the past few years, she has been on call 24 hours a day, helping the eldest lady clean up the mess, wearing the only pair of low-heeled shoes. Looking at the absurd life of the young lady, it was smooth sailing, and sometimes Yumo would look at the young lady's academic certificate and bow her head silently.

When the servants who work together are scolded, they can only lower their heads, never look up at the master, and can only beg for mercy or kneel. That day, she finally broke out, stole the young lady's passport and academic certificate, didn't want anything, and rushed home to accompany her mother.

What's wrong with her? It's just that she didn't have a prominent identity, so she changed her name to Li Anna, taking the young lady's name, academic experience and identity background as her own. Because of this status, her life began to be different. But did she really steal Miss's life? Anna, who pretended to use the background and education of the young lady, these identities are just an admission ticket to the real world, an admission ticket that she cannot get no matter how hard she tries. She found a job, and she copied the skill templates required for her work everywhere, watched teaching videos and various books and research papers in the middle of the night. Anna's personality traits and connotations were real, so Anna's real materials did not make her Her deeds of falsely using other people's education revealed flaws.

She got a lot of opportunities that she never thought of, got promoted and made money, became a person of social status, and began to go out and go out of high-end occasions, showing elegance with a goblet. Every time the camera will bring Anna's shoes, it is no longer the low-heeled shoes of the past, the shoes she wears are not repeated every time, and the heels get higher and higher, just like the life she stole. She started taking elevators to live in high-rise buildings. She has received many good impressions and comments. Her high profile has always been intentional in the story to bring viewers to these stolen identities.

In the end, the bubble of her world burst, and she was still the low self-esteem lure back then. She lived on the 23rd floor, the young lady moved to the 24th floor, and they met in the elevator. Her head dropped more and more, her hands folded in front of her uneasily, just like a servant before, she knelt down and begged for mercy. The lady said, "I don't want to see you dirty, don't show up in front of me, I can't take the elevator with the next person, so you take the stairs, don't let me see." Yumo started to walk home step by step, On the 20th floor, her body was tired and painful. She took off her shoes and climbed up. Then she began to change to shoes with low heels. Step by step, the shoes got lower and lower every day. She later wore flat shoes and even walked down the stairs barefoot because of the pain in her feet.

In the opening credits of each episode, Anna says this: I can do it if I make up my mind. But she didn't. I think it's more like her hypnosis to herself and the knot of her failure in this life, because her efforts and determination are all based on the background of the fake Li Anna.

This is fortunate. After reading it, I just feel happy for Anna, because the whole time impersonating Li Anna was Li Anna who seduced Mo herself, and she still showed her original self. Her strength, her values, her way of dealing with people, and her self-confidence are all Li Yumo named Anna, and everything has nothing to do with the young lady.

I envy her, she is just a little short of identity, to make up for this fragment, her life is shining, like the first snow, nostalgic and pure, the truth is like a lie.

Then I thought of pine nuts.

The Japanese movie "The Life of the Disgusting Matsuko" released in 2006, the first time I saw it, I had absolutely no idea what the film was doing. I couldn't understand it when I was a child, but now I often think of Matsuko. It's just that no matter how hard you try, there are no good results. No one loves her in Matsuko, but she is willing to exchange all of her for being loved.

When she was a child, Matsuko was neglected and indifferent by her father. She tried to please her in every possible way, just to make her father look back at her. Look at Matsuko, not Matsuko's sister, see her like her, see the real she likes the real her, not an identity or accessory. For this reason, she made a face to make her father laugh, went to the school her father wanted her to attend, chose the choice her father wanted her to make, and worked hard to become the daughter in her father's mind.

I think Matsuko understands it very well, she has long known that no matter how hard she puts in, it's all in vain. It's just that sometimes, pretending that you don't know anything and giving yourself a weak hope is the ultimate compassion for yourself.

Matsuko, like Yumo, will always endure to the limit, silently giving up everything and running away to survive. No matter where you flee, bad results are always waiting ahead. Matsuko is constantly seeking to be loved from the man who abused her, and even would rather follow to hell and tell herself that this is happiness. Throughout the film, pine nuts will sing and dance at the moment of real happiness, and the picture will become bright and full of bright colors. But after singing, there is always a void. Either being abandoned by a man, or becoming an outdated restaurant girl, and going to jail for murder. No longer expected.

If there is a problem of identity for Matsuko, it is fate. Who told her that she is not the sister that her father loves? Let the innocent and kind-hearted her, the ugly to please her hard work, become unbearable and induce misfortune. She must have been wronged. A lover can commit suicide at will and leave Song Nuo at will. There are many choices leading to happiness. Only Song Nuo can't be suspended. She has to move forward unfortunately.

Every time Matsuko went home, or returned to her shelter, she would say "I'm back!" This sentence never got a response.

The only thing that will beckon and wait for her is a tragic future. Matsuko's life was decided in her original family, and every person she met after that did not give Matsuko the "love" she wanted, but only used her, whether it was reaching out to Xia Matsuko for money, whether it was being loved by her. As someone else's woman practicing self-esteem, whether it's a solace in loneliness, whether it's something to fill a lover, everything she's experienced in her life is a microcosm of her home. She has only the identity that others need, and no soul.

Now I finally know why pine nuts are annoying. I think it's not that everyone hates Matsuko, but Matsuko feels that because he is annoying, he can't get love and the happiness of this world.

Matsuko and Anna, both suffered injustice in this world, they all tried their best to please, but neither had a safe haven to rely on, and neither had a family. But I believe that Anna is more favored, she has love: parents, students and colleagues all really love and appreciate her, attracted and welcomed by her nature. If Matsuko didn't have such a strong desire to survive when she killed her third lover, letting go can reduce a lot of torture. In the end, maybe only the nephew who has never met Matsuko has the opportunity to truly know Matsuko, but he has no chance to confront him. She radiates love and care. The "Tower of the Sun" charm on my nephew's mobile phone is connected to pine nuts, and the charm on Nian Qingqingzi Lijia's bag is also the "Tower of the Sun".

Before the end of Matsuko's life, she wrote a long letter to her favorite idol. She was sorry that the letter said too much about her life, but I hope the idol can understand, because that is who she is and who she is. of all. "These are the meanings of my existence." Matsuko dedicates all of herself again. Maybe in the end, Matsuko no longer expects someone to love her, but only hopes that someone can understand herself and respond to herself.

At least make me feel that this life has a little bit of happiness to look forward to. Begging the world to have a little more mercy on her.

but.

What did not exist in the past will not exist in the future; what does not exist now will not exist in the past.

I'm Matsuko and I want to be Anna.

My nasty life, trying to change my identity and live a life that at least looks glamorous.