In memory of Mr. Yao Xiaoyuan

In memory of Mr. Yao Xiaoyuan

Eating pickles and talking about the world

On the evening of September 19, I suddenly learned that Mr. Yao Xiaoyuan had passed away soon. The next day there was definite news. Mr. Yao Xiaoyuan has indeed passed away.

I cried several times in the past few days. Maybe it’s because I’m older, weaker, and more susceptible to sadness. Actually, I don’t have much contact with Mr. Yao Xiaoyuan. Yao Xiaoyuan is not an easy person to get along with. But why am I so sad? I think there are two idioms that can explain it. One is that the fox is sad when the rabbit dies, and the other is that things harm their own kind.

Probably around 2006, I started playing Tianya. After playing for a year or two, I gradually gained some fame. I also met a group of active writers from Tianya. One of them is Yao Xiaoyuan. There is an old saying in China that literati look down on each other. I am no exception. I have read several of Xiaoyuan’s articles. But I don’t think highly of him. He likes to be unconventional and make shocking theories, but he has no reasonable logic to deduce and prove. Every now and then, he would post some weird opinions on the forum, some of which were even contrary to human nature. Many people wanted to beat him up. One year, the Tianya community held a selection of the top ten writers. I ranked second, and Xiaoyuan ranked eighth or ninth. Judging from the writing ability, this is probably the case.

In 2013, Tianya Community held a symposium in Haikou. A group of active writers were invited to attend the meeting. Yao Xiaoyuan and I were both invited. This is the first time I met Yao Xiaoyuan. He is thin, but very capable and powerful. He was living in Shanghai at the time. He pays great attention to taking care of his personal image, is clean and decently dressed, has sharp eyes, and has a kind of arrogance that looks down upon everything. I remember he was wearing a U.S. Army beanie and a U.S. Army jacket. The way he moves his hands and feet is elegant and graceful. I have always been a country bumpkin from the mountains, so I was very envious of Yao Xiaoyuan at that time. When I returned to Dongguan from Haikou, I also bought a few of these American military hats. But I don’t know why, but it doesn’t look good on me. Yao Xiaoyuan wears such a hat, like a tough US military officer. Wearing this hat, I look like a city manager. Later, I bought a Yao Xiaoyuan-style US military jacket, but it still didn’t look good and looked like a bandit when I wore it. Why does Yao Xiaoyuan look good in what he wears, but I don’t look good in what I wear? I have thought about this question for a long time. Later I figured it out, firstly because I am fatter and have a bigger face than Yao Xiaoyuan; secondly, because Yao Xiaoyuan has a Shanghainese temperament, which I don’t have. I am essentially a country bumpkin.

Yao Xiaoyuan is from Baoji, Shaanxi. I have always suspected that Yao Xiaoyuan's parents may be Shanghai's sent-down educated youth, or workers in Shanghai's third-tier factories. Because Yao Xiaoyuan has always been very fashionable. Yao Xiaoyuan graduated from Baoji Normal University. In the last year of the 1980s, Yao Xiaoyuan was already working. He led the students into that incident. Then he was on the wanted list. Yao Xiaoyuan fled all the way to the northeast. Four months later, he was arrested near the northeastern city of Daqing. Then came a year in jail. After coming out, he became a homeless person.

Yao Xiaoyuan has a stubborn personality and is not easy to get along with others. He also did business, but it didn't look very good. In depression, I started writing articles.

On and off the Internet, I have some contact with Yao Xiaoyuan. Yao Xiaoyuan is an active person who is always busy. At first, he was engaged in planning in Shanghai, and later he went to Lijiang to open an inn. I have been paying attention to Xiaoyuan's inn. I hope that when I have time, I can go there and experience Yao Xiaoyuan’s inn.

On July 29, 2019, I flew from Xishuangbanna to Lijiang. Finally checked into Yao Xiaoyuan's inn. Yao Xiaoyuan's inn is on a hillside. In my mind, I have traveled a long, long way. It's hard to find the place with twists and turns. When he walked to the inn, Xiaoyuan greeted him at the door. It was noon and a cloudy day. Yao Xiaoyuan smiled broadly. There was a woman standing next to him, she looked very young and elegant. This woman introduced herself as Yao Xiaoyuan's apprentice and now helped Yao Xiaoyuan manage the inn. Her name was XXX Tong. To be honest, I was a little jealous at the time. Because I think Yao Xiaoyuan is older and uglier than me. Why can he let such a beautiful woman work for him? I paid close attention to the relationship between Yao Xiaoyuan and this woman. But I never figured it out.

Yao Xiaoyuan invited me to dinner at noon. We ate some local specialties in a very beautiful restaurant. We went to eat at 1:30, so there was no one in the restaurant. The young woman had a son who was eight or nine years old and very smart. Lao Yao still knows how to treat guests and takes good care of me.

In the afternoon I went to Lijiang City for a walk. When I returned to the inn in the evening, after washing up, I just wanted to catch up with old Yao and talk about my thoughts. We are all online writers, so of course we have to talk about our thoughts. Lao Yao's inn is very beautiful, I like it. It seems that a lot of effort has been put into decorating the inn. Anyway, I don’t have the intelligence to decorate such a beautiful inn. Lao Yao is a smart man. The pretty woman made us tea. Lao Yao and I just brag. But Lao Yao is really not an easy person to get along with. I only chatted with him for half an hour before he got so angry that I jumped up from my stool and went back to my room. I couldn't continue the conversation, and if I continued, I felt I would definitely beat him. I have forgotten the specific issues I discussed with him, but I was really angry at the time.

The next day, I went to Baisha Ancient Town. Yao Xiaoyuan introduced me there. It's a really nice, pretty town. What impressed me most was the ditch in front of every house. The water was very clear and freezing cold. I heard it was melted water from the snow-capped mountains. Lijiang is a beautiful place. In my mind, I felt like I stayed at Xiaoyuan's inn for another night. This time I learned my lesson and didn't talk about my thoughts with him. I only chatted with him for a few words.

I returned to Anhui from Lijiang not long ago. I heard that Xiaoyuan had a conflict with the local Xiaopinhong in Lijiang. Hearing that a group of people were going to beat him, Xiaoyuan picked up a knife and wanted to fight them desperately, and drove those guys away. Xiaoyuan was then detained by local police. Maybe because of this incident, Xiaoyuan's inn can no longer be opened. At that time I saw that Xiaoyuan wanted to transfer the inn. A thought flashed through my mind, could I take over? Because I really like Xiaoyuan’s inn. But then I thought about it and forget it! Because I am really not a hard-working person, and I am very afraid of trouble. If you want to run an inn, how can it be so simple? At that time, I thought it was a pity that Xiaoyuan gave up the inn. Looking back, I found that giving up the inn was a good thing. Because the epidemic started in 2020, all those who opened inns were in bad luck. Xiaoyuan didn't open an inn, so at least he escaped disaster.

Xiaoyuan is a beautiful man. Although I always think he is not as beautiful as me, he is still attractive enough to attract many women. He was cultured and artistic, had read many classics, and could recite Shakespeare. Dress cleanly and neatly, and have your own style. So many women will like him. A woman said that Xiaoyuan is a rare man who can be admired. A friend once told me about Xiaoyuan's romantic history. It was so complicated and complicated that I couldn't even remember it. There are many women who like him anyway.

Yao Xiaoyuan is very popular with women, but there are not many men who can get along well with Xiaoyuan. Many men wanted to beat him up. Many little pinks want to beat him up, and many democrats also want to beat him up. I think Xiaoyuan enjoys the hatred others have for him. Xiaoyuan often deliberately provokes hatred. Xiaoyuan's style is to draw swords at each other if they don't agree with each other. Moreover, he is a very narcissistic person and likes others to support him. If you don't agree with his views, just wait to be scolded by him! After Xiao Yuan died, many people asked their confidants in the past two days to tell them how close they were to Xiao Yuan. In fact, these people only met Xiaoyuan a few times and spent two or three days together. With Xiaoyuan's style, it is difficult for him to get along with others for a long time. Of course, if you are willing to worship him as a master, that is another matter.

Xiaoyuan is very smart. Have a keen insight into society. Very stubborn and narcissistic. When I was young, I was arrogant and always felt that I could achieve extraordinary feats. It's a pity that the times made a joke. I lost my job, became a vagrant, and fell to the bottom of society. Originally, he had always been the pride of his family, but after he was released from prison, he wandered around and was nothing. His family was also disappointed in him. Some people will become depressed and depressed when they encounter setbacks in life. Yao Xiaoyuan will never be depressed. He will only become more courageous and arrogant as he becomes more frustrated.

I can understand his aloofness. This is a highly intelligent person's contempt for a mentally retarded society. Yao Xiaoyuan's heart must be very bitter. I can imagine countless sleepless nights, and I can imagine countless late-night cries. After enduring the beatings of life again and again, Yao Xiaoyuan became even more arrogant and would never compromise!

If he is willing to compromise in life, Yao Xiaoyuan will definitely get more material enjoyment and more social respect. But he is a stubborn person. Never give in!

More than thirty years have passed since the last year of the 1980s. In these thirty years, we have witnessed countless compromises and betrayals. Countless passionate young people from those days abandoned their ideals of youth, knelt before the powerful, and even consciously became a part of the dark forces. And only Yao Xiaoyuan stood there arrogantly forever, looking coldly at these arrogant people with his unique disdainful eyes!

In October last year, Yao Xiaoyuan was preparing to travel to China. I chatted with Yao Xiaoyuan on WeChat. I think his idea is good, but you should pay attention to your health and regard long-distance walking as a kind of leisure and entertainment. You can walk and play when you want. If you are not happy, just lie down. But Yao Xiaoyuan did not accept my suggestion. He said completing this was a goal in his life. He was willing to endure hardships. Yao Xiaoyuan invited me to join him in his China Walk. Of course I refused. First of all, I am a lazy person. I can’t stand walking dozens of kilometers every day. Secondly, I feel that Yao Xiaoyuan is not easy to get along with. If we are together for three days, we will definitely start fighting.

I didn't participate in Yao Xiaoyuan's trip to China, but I have always followed him. I admire this old man's strong will from the bottom of my heart.

Yao Xiaoyuan walked to Anhui and passed by my hometown. Contacted me. I had already gone to Guangdong at that time. So there was no way to meet him. Of course at that time, I had no idea he would pass away so soon. If I knew that his days were numbered, I would definitely fly back to see him and walk around ancient Huizhou with him. People who are alive always feel that life is very long. This is not the case.

In April this year, I came to Vietnam. The epidemic in Vietnam is very serious, and I stay in my apartment most of the time. Occasionally, I will pay attention to Yao Xiaoyuan's situation. But never talked to him.

On the evening of September 19, a friend suddenly told me on WeChat that Yao Xiaoyuan was critically ill in Lijiang. I was taken aback. How could such an active person, such a strong person, suddenly become critically ill? My first thought was that walking across China, eight thousand miles across the clouds and moons, had exhausted his energy. I continued to inquire about him. I heard that he started to have a high fever on September 9, but he never went to the hospital. He didn't go to the hospital until the 17th when he seemed to be in serious condition. Then I was told by the hospital that due to long-term diabetes, persistent high fever, sepsis, and liver and kidney failure. Yao Xiaoyuan's disease is not incurable. If he had been admitted to the hospital earlier, his life would not have been in danger. So why didn't Yao Xiaoyuan go to the hospital in time? I think there may be two reasons. First, because it was troublesome for patients with colds and fevers to go to the hospital during the epidemic, which might bother Yao Xiaoyuan, so he stopped going. The second reason is that Yao Xiaoyuan has always been a strong person. He always felt that he could handle small things such as colds and fevers. However, he did not expect that he was almost 60 years old and had just completed a long journey across China. His health is in a period of weakness.

Of course, there is another possibility, which I am not sure about. That is, Yao Xiaoyuan has seen through the world and people's hearts, and feels that there is nothing to miss in this cold world. What joy is there in life, what regret is there in death? If you're sick, just get sick, if you can survive it, stay alive, if you can't survive it, just leave. This is also a possibility.

Xiaoyuan's life is a huge tragedy. Xiaoyuan's life is the epitome of our generation. He insists on his own ideals to the point of being incompatible with the world around him. This is a feeling and a kind of sadness.

On the day Xiaoyuan passed away, I wrote a paragraph on WeChat. "Xiaoyuan is not a perfect man. He is impatient and narcissistic. Xiaoyuan is not a great man either. He often makes mistakes and never achieves anything in his life. But he is a warrior who never gives in. He insists on the ideals of his youth and keeps fighting. Until the last moment of life! This point alone is always worthy of our admiration and learning! Xiaoyuan will last forever!"

Xiaoyuan is a warrior who never surrenders! Xiaoyuan has a brave heart!

In the boundless darkness, we can always see Xiaoyuan's shining sword!

On September 20, I wrote an elegiac couplet for Yao Xiaoyuan.

The young self-improvement boy once went on an expedition and was not afraid of hardships and dangers;

Brother Yao, who is white-haired and strong, has fought to the last man!

On September 22, 2021, Mr. Yao Xiaoyuan was cremated in Lijiang. At 11 o'clock at night, Mr. Yao Xiaoyuan's ashes were carried by his family and arrived at Xianyang Airport. Friends from Xi'an drove overnight to escort him. At two o'clock in the morning, Mr. Yao Xiaoyuan's ashes arrived in his hometown of Baoji.

Veterans will not die, they will only wither away!

I would like to commemorate an unyielding warrior of our time!

Saigon on September 24, 2021