於琛琛
於琛琛

半路出家的政治學徒一枚,文字時而溫柔,時而暴烈,時而浪漫,時而尖銳,時而簡潔,時而瑣碎。【近注】不需要追蹤我,最近忙於家事和讀書,也沒新文章可以追蹤。

A bad habit you've already quit (well, it's not "the man"'s fault)

(edited)
I use my own experience to analyze a certain (bad) habit of single women in their 30s in their relationship. Please don't sit down arbitrarily, because I'm not writing about you, but if you have already sat down, you don't have to get up.
Image credit: Unsplash

For a period of time since I was in my 20s and entered my 30s, what I feared most was not being alone, not having no one to accompany me, but if it went on like this, would I become cynical one day?

In this age where the Internet and the real world are intertwined, many times we know the opposite sex through the Internet. When we are young and invincible, we have a lot of choices, and those who like them rush to get the number plate and wait for their call. Of course, youth will grow old, so a certain day comes: I meet a man I admire very much. When I first met a man, I was very courteous. After meeting a few times, the other party lost enthusiasm. At the beginning, I would ask myself what is not good enough. It's just that these men only look at appearance and age and don't look at inner beauty.

So, after entering my 30s, I gradually developed a bad habit : I use "men" to describe the Taiwanese male ethnic group I know or recognize in general. They are this kind of virtue. I can name one hundred and eighty kinds. The reason, why I can't get a Taiwanese boyfriend, half of the reason is that I look down on myself, anyway, I just can't express the youth and beauty they want, and the other half is because I look down on them, what they want is youth and beauty after all.

Most of the time, my single girl friends and I can thoroughly criticize these men who don't look down on us, saying that anyway, men don't dare to love smart and independent girls, and they don't need to have high expectations for their level. But when we scold us to the fullest, we tend to forget that things are often not like this, or that, and most of the time, our own level is actually not that high-end.

What men want is youth and beauty, we want more, appearance is only the threshold, but also self-confidence, humorous conversation, economic foundation, and well-informed, but the combination must be ambiguous. Light, then, talk about then.

But if you look at your partner's requirements (I also like girls, but here's a male partner as an example), the actual situation is probably like this:

For example, whether a man can give me an orgasm is more important to me than whether he can give me a good report on Haruki Murakami's reading experience, and I think this is the same as a man who would rather have a girlfriend with big breasts than a girlfriend with a high degree of education. , seems to be the same thing.

For another example, his appearance is of course more important to me than his abilities, because if it is not pleasing to the eye at first glance, there is not much time to explore other parts.

For another example, if a man's mouth is about the world situation, travel experience, financial investment or the latest technology, it is very meaningful, but I will probably only feel bored and the person is arrogant; I prefer him to wear tailored clothes. , hold my hand and patiently accompany me shopping, you can go to a movie or concert together, the genre does not have to be restricted, when I am reading, he can work, play video games or go out to drink, as long as he does not disturb me, I will not interfere , Occasionally come as a surprise with a small gift or a small trip. Of course, if you really want to chat, you can do it at home. Those big truths, have I not heard enough in my life?

So seriously speaking, his level is not very high. If there is a man who thinks me interesting and attractive before meeting, but refuses to have further friendship with me after meeting because I am too fat and ugly, I will never take it seriously. On unpleasant girls? Why did I develop this bad habit of blaming "men don't understand girls like us"?

Therefore, once you recognize yourself, it will be easier to understand those frustrating states. In the end, there are a bunch of men who come and go in life. They know each other and they are strangers to each other. I have a good impression of him, but he does not like me. , it's just a matter of chance, and it's also a question of whether pheromones work at first glance, it's not a question of what those men like.

So after more than half of my 30s, I began to understand that I have too many irrelevant relationships, relationships between men and women, and self-disappointment caused by other opportunities. , and this bad habit will lead me to some extreme one day. I began to be afraid, like the heroine Honey in "The Elegant Hedgehog", holding a lonely life and admiring herself, thinking that elegance that no one can understand better is just a bad habit of cynicism.

Of course, in the final marriage (thank god) (thank god it's an ironic statement, I'm afraid everyone can't understand it and make a special note) , after entering the 40th generation, I know: Honey also waited 54 years for Mr. Ozu, so she died. I feel happy in an instant, so Mr. Ozu will always come to our side. If he is late, there is really no need to lose his temper on other men, paranoid that there will be no men in this world who can see through them all beauty.


Originally, I wanted to write about the typical bad habits of procrastination, multitasking, chasing non-existent perfection, and changing back and forth, but since there have been many articles mentioned, the symptoms are similar, so I jumped to this kind of meeting. Offending people's love fallacy article.

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