Ageing: Grandma and her three daughters

My grandmother has been dead for more than ten years, and it was my high school summer vacation. In college, I took an oral history class and wrote an interview about the story my mother told me when I was a child. I always feel that I really want to continue writing, visit more elders and elders, and write it better and more comprehensively.

But I don’t want to mess it up, and I have some levels I’m stuck on. I’ve been passively collecting materials, and I just ask my elders about old things during New Year’s and festivals. But I left it alone, and I didn't do it, I was lazy and didn't have confidence. I am also afraid of offending people and offending different facts that different elders say.

This article should be regarded as a practice pen. There is no solid structure, but it is the truth of what I have "seen and heard" (equivalent, not the truth), maybe a little rambling, talk about the beginning and end.

My grandmother was a child bride. She was educated in elementary school thanks to the presence of Japanese people in elementary school. She was more familiar with Japanese pseudonyms than phonetic symbols, but she did not know much Chinese characters. Grandpa is the eldest son, three younger brothers and six younger sisters, three of whom are also given away for adoption.

"Your second, fourth, and sixth aunts were all raised by others, and that was the case in those days. "-my mother

My grandmother had four children, two boys and two girls, three of which were unions with my grandfather. My mother is my grandmother's only biological daughter, and she has an adopted sister: my aunt, who is also a godmother. Then there are two older brothers, my uncle. My aunt, let's call her Aunt Yun here, lest everyone mess up. Although Aunt Yun and her mother's maiden family have different surnames, they grew up together and are always very close. Even in my generation.

"At that time, they didn't live far away, but your aunt (Yun Aunt) didn't drink milk when she was born, she just cried, went to the temple and asked, and said that she would live without someone else's support, so she gave it to your grandmother. "-my mother

As a result, my Auntie Ayun really got used to my grandmother's milk. When the baby fat is not reduced, it has the title of "big fat cloud".

I never believed this story.

Because the Aunt Yun I saw was always very thin, and now I can pick her up when I hug her. Yellow and thin, but always very powerful. If she is either doing things or preparing to do things, she has never seen her take a break or fall ill. It is not a gesture of enjoying the common blessings and fatness. I guess it was like that in those days, daughters were given away, and other people's daughters were picked up to raise. Don't mention it if she's not good, you can't live without it. In this way, where will the face of one's own family and palace be placed?

My mother is four years younger than Aunt Yun, and is the "eldest daughter" on my grandfather and grandmother's household register. At this time, there was a change in the family. My grandfather had a woman and a daughter. This matter is the subject, it's a long story, let's make up the background story of my grandfather first.

Before my grandfather came of age, he had an accident and injured his leg. Because of the delay in seeking medical treatment, Azu believed in the tricks of water and incense ash in the temple. After the delay, he was crippled in one leg. At this time, he was only in junior high school and had just been admitted to the junior high school of Taipei Technical College. There was no way to go to school, and he was bedridden for nearly ten years.

The marriage with my grandmother has also become an accident and a necessity. As soon as my grandmother became an adult, she was not extravagant, and she gave her a new house on New Year's Eve. Grandpa's life, from the outside to the inside, I think he has been fighting against the lame leg. According to my mother's description, he is very Western and very fashionable. Every spring and autumn, he will go to each spring and autumn to make a suit, and he always dresses decently. The material of the suit is the best, wear only plain colors: light gray, dark gray, brown, with a woolen French hat, mahogany cane. No plaids, no flowers, no canes or carvings.

"The above is all heard and put together, because I was in my mother's womb when my grandfather died. "-I

Anyway, this is the image of my grandfather in my mind.

Ten years of bedridden, self-taught law, and later got a job, was able to go out, and everything had to prove that he was lame, and he still had the ability.

"That woman, your grandfather just went to buy books and newspapers every day, then he became a secretary, and then he lived with him. Later, I only came back for the New Year and gave out red envelopes. "-my mother

Mom always has nothing good to say about this secretary. Said that she was fat and ugly, and the adopted daughter of a prostitute, and that she didn't become a prostitute, but she was too ugly to see her. I am not responsible for this authenticity, not for anything else, but for the grandfather's face. I have no way of verifying its truth.

When the secretary was the five ghosts, he transferred all his grandfather's assets away. Later, he "kicked the grandfather out with one kick", and then the grandfather "gets out" and goes home. At that time, my mother was studying in the fifth major, and the family had long been used to not having a father. When people came back, they had to arrange a room. It wasn't long before the strange father took a cane to find another woman. This is something.

Mom always felt that the secretary and her illegitimate daughter stole her fatherly love.

"I remember that time, when your grandfather brought her back during Chinese New Year, what did she wear! A dress with lace piping, holding a doll just like her... a pair of red leather shoes, your grandfather actually let her sit on his shoulders! I never thought about his feet like that..."
"That doll can talk! "Mom", "Mom"..."-my mom

This picture is probably everything. Most of the above, I have been stagnant for ten years, since the oral history class, nothing has changed. It's not a good topic for the holidays either.

Aunt Yun

Aunt Yun loves me very much. She doesn't have a son, and it is difficult to have a daughter. Fortunately, the mother and daughter are safe, but the uterus has been removed. When I was still ignorant, it was decided that I was a godson. I almost never called my godmother, because I never said the reason. When I realized that she was an adopted daughter, I felt that no matter what, I had to call her auntie, which is more close. Calling her godmother means she is kissing me, but she is not necessarily close to the family. Without blood, there is always no reason to kiss. That's what I thought.

Of course, this may also be my excuse. I have never kissed anyone, and I never gave anyone a good face after puberty, unless I drank alcohol. What was she thinking? For grandfather, for grandmother, and for himself, it is the adopted daughter of Tongyang-in-law. In the big family, my mother always talks about the big family story like a dream of Red Mansions. It is said that there is no father at home, and the four children of my grandmother are managed by everyone, and they must know how to watch words. After listening to the story over and over again, I began to feel that no matter how unfortunate the daughter of the Jia family is, the surname is always Jia. Aunt Yun is not surnamed Jia, so she probably can't be called Shi Wangxue either. What did Aunt Yun think? I haven't talked to her. Aunt Yun's daughter, when my cousin got married, I was still my uncle, and my aunt and uncle were a hundred years old, so I must have embraced Dou.

However, a mother's family, Aunt Yun's family, is the best in every respect. Various aspects. Now even upstairs and downstairs are relatives of her family. Whether she is old or not, I always feel that she has not changed. Grandma converted in her later years, and Aunt Yun has been doing Tzu Chi in recent years. Look at it this way, or she looks a lot like Grandma.

Aunt Xue

(One time the secretary called my mother, my mother recognized her voice)
"You recognize my voice...you hate me enough, don't you? 』
"No, I just remember your voice. 』

The story of my grandfather and grandmother has been suspended for a long time. A year ago, on a whim, I felt that no matter how the family asked, it would be like this, and I thought that the secretary might see me. So I contacted her daughter, let's call her Aunt Xue here.

When I met Aunt Xue for the first time, I knew she was unusual. Because I have never seen it during the Chinese New Year and festivals, it was a visit to my home. Although there are many aunts in my mother's family, I still know when I was young that this is not normal. People are not ordinary, how can I say? My mother said that she was an aunt, and she didn't explain it. She only said that she was learning languages. She was a teacher and asked me to show her my homework. As a result, she said my words were too scribbled. I am amazed. There is some surprise at being criticized, so I won't mention it here. I was even more surprised that she didn't feel like the aunt she met during the festival, but she actually gave her advice very seriously.

Later, we met only once in a few years, not necessarily during the Chinese New Year. It might be a temporary dinner or just by chance. I have heard the stories of my predecessors many times. The version of the story is no different, it's all from my mom, and it won't change. After my grandmother passed away, I was surprised that I didn't ask about many things.

It was only last year that I suddenly remembered that secretary. I was so sleepy that I was close to madness, and it might be interesting to think about this kind of conflict. I contacted Aunt Xue, she was very happy. But I didn't expect that the secretary was often bedridden, and Aunt Xue went out to meet me as a surrogate mother. Enjoyed talking. There are a lot of story details, completely different.

First of all, my mother thinks she has stolen her father's love, but Aunt Xue thinks that my mother is famous. She will never have this legitimacy, and she bears the original sin. This is easy, some Aunt Xue's version of the story, even an open-minded person like me, have to endure listening.

"...For my father, he and Xinpu's mother (my grandmother) were never true love. It's more like... a sibling relationship. It was my mother who lost her true love. She often buried herself in her pillow and cried in the middle of the night. 』-Aunt Xue

How did she call my grandmother, I was implied to be the offspring of incest, but I couldn't understand it carefully, so I'm looking for a substitute name here. But don't ask me if I have asked back: "Is the secretary fat and ugly, and the adopted daughter of a maid? 』 How can you ask this, I know the book and Da Li. But after all, I was still full of energy, and I played a lot of edge balls.

"According to my mother's version of the story, she would be counting the bills and laughing at the deed, not crying in the quilt. "-I

Yes, I say that verbatim. I really said that. When I came back, I didn't dare to mention it to my mother. I acted in Aunt Xue's face and hit such a home run. Seriously, it's not much different from asking if someone's mother is a prostitute. Not a sideline, I admit. Through reading a lot of novels, I know that people are very three-dimensional. But if I look at it this way, I have to dig for the facts... I really... I need more psychological construction.

What are the facts? Ugh.
Maybe it's what everyone said.
If not, it is impossible to grow up, let alone old age.

Indeed, I have heard a lot of things that I should listen to, such as Aunt Xue, in her capacity, when she was young, she occasionally had the opportunity to celebrate the Chinese New Year with our family. How would she deal with it? Nothing is right. This answered my question about why I didn't see her at the beginning of the New Year's holiday. She also reads a lot, and she can guide me in reading and writing. After several unfinished engagements, she lost her youth. Now I have a French husband who is super handsome. no kids.

Later, I occasionally contacted on Line. In fact, the differences between Aunt Xue and I were not only related to our ancestors. A few months later, her mother died. My mom got it and told me. Aunt Xue did not send the message until a few weeks later, and I don't blame her for being busy. My mother went to the incense, but this time I became angry. Even if she refused to go, I was very busy. My mom doesn't force it either.

A few months later, the epidemic broke out, and I went crazy again and lost my job. I was bored at home watching the news, and was troubled by all kinds of fake news and the chaos of the Internet army. Aunt Xue passed on a good article that she thought was serious, but I read it was just a political article written by a professional thug. It was June 4th again that day, and Japan sent vaccines. A bunch of bird incidents came together. I didn't care about my feelings, and turned into Shoping Otani.

I was not very polite at the time, and I was really hypocritical in this regard. For other family elders, at most I don't read it, or I have read it. I'll post a picture if I'm in a good mood. In fact, we are not political opponents, and I can't play a role with anyone. Instead, my mother is my mother no matter how bad it is, and her mother is her mother no matter how bad it is. This cannot be resolved.

tell grandma

And about my grandmother, she had a funeral that anyone would want. There are many brothers and sisters in our family, and we don’t have to worry about no one at night vigil every day, and it’s still the same as the New Year. I was only going to high school that year, and it was summer vacation, and I stayed there for a few days. Every morning, uncles and uncles will always go to buy breakfast for the night watchman, so they must buy more, and no one is allowed to go hungry. Paper lotuses and paper ingots are piled up like mountains. There are always neighbors who don't know anyone, silently come to offer incense and pack a white bag. Even if it's just breakfast, the atmosphere is very similar to Chinese New Year. Every year before that was like this, but I didn't know it at the time. After my grandmother left, I never had a year like that again.

This is probably what is called Ai Rong.
Later, I attended more funerals and farewells, and I realized that not everyone is like this.