徐豪謙
徐豪謙

徐豪謙,清華大學社會學研究所畢,研究領域為性別研究、同志研究、情慾產業研究。 2017年4月開始與情趣用品公司《異物》合作,於《異物梗色工作坊》,開設口交技巧、肛交技巧、陰道交技巧、前戲技巧等課程。課程開設至今,已有上千位學員受益。 2019年8月進入人稱「八大」的酒店陪侍產業,以「經紀人」/「開桌幹部」的身分,在林森北路一帶進行田野觀察。

During oral sex, male partners say that they are very comfortable, but why can't they ejaculate?

Photo Credit: uslikajme from Pixabay

Before teaching oral sex workshops, I usually start by asking participants what is their motivation for coming to the class today. Among them, one can often see a student expressing that although his oral sex skills are not disliked, and his male partner also says that it is very comfortable, but every time he can't blow it out, he does not know whether the male partner is really comfortable or fake. Because there was no ejaculation, and guessing that the male partner might not be really comfortable, many students came to my class for help.

Is my skill not good enough?

Everyone's physique, as well as the environment he is in, whether he is physically tired today, etc., may have an impact . Whether you blow the opponent or not has a positive correlation with your skills. And we must recognize another point, to achieve ejaculation, not only need to have enough physical stimulation, the current state of sexual excitement is also very important.

Having good oral sex skills can only increase your "opportunity" of blowing the other person, and does not guarantee that you will be "everything" . In fact, among the three common ways to please the penis, such as thrusting, masturbation, and oral sex, oral sex is the least easy for a man to disarm. Even a blowjob expert like me can't get every dick to disarm in my mouth. So a man's inability to ejaculate through your oral sex is not necessarily a matter of skill. Getting a man to ejaculate just by oral sex is a relatively difficult thing in itself. Don't be too hard on yourself.

Are you uncomfortable without ejaculation?

A man who cannot ejaculate through oral sex does not mean that he is less interested in oral sex. He may still be comfortable, and even oral sex is the mode of sex he finds most comfortable. But feeling comfortable and reaching the point of ejaculation are often two different things.

Most of the time, we tend to think of ejaculation as the ultimate goal of sex, the supreme state, but is it really so? Everyone may wish to think about whether your male partner/opponent has ever shown mercy when he is about to ejaculate. Or that many men are always talking about various ways to delay ejaculation on the Internet. There are many reasons why men want to delay ejaculation. Men who love face feel ashamed of premature ejaculation, and men who are considerate feel that the other party is not satisfied, but most men do not want to ejaculate . It's cool, it's far more important than ejaculation.

For many men, the most memorable part of a memorable sex is the pleasure they enjoy during the process , not the moment of ejaculation. I often feel like ejaculation is just a ritual to end the sex game. Although when ejaculating, the penis is extremely sensitive and very excited. However, this excited state often only lasts for a few seconds. Compared to the constant stimulation of sex during sex, ejaculation is more of a small piece of high-quality steak that can be swallowed in one bite, and it's over before you can feel his taste. A lot of times, we still feel that all-you-can-eat BBQ, even if the meat is not very good, brings more satisfaction.

Is it comfortable to ejaculate?

Ejaculation comes at a price. After ejaculation is over, there is often a feeling of emptiness (ahhhhhhhhhhhh it's over). Many people even turn on "Saint Mode" after ejaculation. Any physical contact makes him feel uncomfortable, and he cannot enjoy the pleasure brought by sex again in a short time.

When it comes to sex, most boys are declared Game Over once they ejaculate . If sex is like playing Tom's console, most people want to play longer, especially if you only have one coin. Because there is only one chance, if you lose, you have to go home obediently. The boys naturally try their best to delay their ejaculation time, and want to make the happy time not pass so fast.

Admit it! You are just for yourself!

Many people judge whether they are satisfied by their ability to blow their partner. But many times, everyone seems to be just pursuing a kind of "achievement" . Just like the number one wants to dry shoot number zero, the different man wants to make a woman squirt. But in fact, these things are not necessarily the most comfortable state for the other party.

If all you want is to make the other person comfortable, then there's really no need to pursue blowjobs. But if what you want is a kind of "achievement" or some kind of "conquest" from a male partner, that's fine, and that's one of the pleasures that many people want to get in sex. Just after reading this article, I hope everyone will not be too harsh on themselves! Of course, it is possible to try to get closer through acquired efforts, but it is also very important to have the right time, place and people, so you can't force it!

Hands and Mouths: Fouls that increase your chances of blowing him

Getting a man to ejaculate just by oral sex is a relatively difficult thing in itself. But many people who can't have penetrative sex (such as women who are pregnant, menstruating, gay men who don't like anal sex, etc.) usually use oral sex instead. And most of the time, we have to wait until the man ejaculates before telling ourselves we can end the sex. Not letting the man ejaculate is like it's not done.

Of course, ejaculation is still very important for most men, but there is really no need to rely on oral sex alone to conquer the world. (On the premise of the right technique) Giving a cock with a glove is often easier for touchdowns than oral sex. Give him a couple of tricks with your hands. Although it's a bit sneaky, it's not shameful at all.

Intimate focus

1. No ejaculation does not mean discomfort.
2. The time occupied by ejaculation in the whole sex is extremely short. In many cases, it is only the ritual of "completing" sex, and it is not necessarily the most worthy of pursuit in the process of sex.
3. Among the three sex modes, such as thrusting, masturbation, and oral sex, the probability of disarming a man by oral sex alone is relatively low when all the essentials are mastered.
4. If you want to disarm a man with your mouth, you might as well stealthily summon a good partner with strong lethality, and use your hand and mouth together.


To register for Mr. Xu's sex skills course, please search: Foreign Body Stem Color Workshop, Mr. Xu's Facebook Fan Page/Instagram, please search: Mr. Xu's Sex Classroom, Mr. Xu's Facebook Sex Discussion Club, please search: Mr. Xu's Sex Talk Room



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