[Sentimentally broken thoughts] Diary in my heart

This is my impression after reading @fide's article , only to find out that my past was not hidden when I was looking directly at it. And some unpacked diaries from the past, I couldn't help but read while packing and sorting. The diary in my heart is also opened together

Reread my heart diary

I am a person who dares to love and hate, and the good and bad people treat me will be engraved in my mind. So even if it is a diary from elementary school or even kindergarten, there will be certain memories. In the diary, I wrote that I used to be so naive. With almost unconditional trust in people, and then with less and less trust in people over the years. To be honest, I was very envious that I could live such a comfortable and easy-going life back then. The picture in my mind makes me so warm, even if there are many people who I haven’t contacted now in my memories, I will still miss them whispering their names.

When I grew up and went to middle school, I used to be a person who lived with the heart of a pink girl. At that time, I was chasing stars and nympho with my friends, and I met many netizens. In reality, when people reach their peak, they are very close to many friends of the opposite sex (also friends of the same sex), and it is also a bit ambiguous. The diaries and letters during this period really can't look directly at myself. Of course, there are also some speeches about the second-year illness that I see myself rolling my eyes constantly. How could I have so much spare time in those years?

Of course, in addition to the infinite chasing stars, pink bubbles, and secondary illnesses, I also wrote down my expectations for the future. Those unrealistic fantasies when I was a child eventually became the material for writing stories in middle school, enough to support me to write more than 10,000 words. When I got to middle school, of course I started to think about the future. Even if it changed, it was similar to my current main axis. If you want to make a living with words and craftsmanship, maybe take over the freelance of the design, and at the same time leave some energy to invest and manage your finances. Everything is fine except engineering. (Although I am doing engineering now, it does not mean that I like my work)

Diary from the past to the present

1. Up to now, from that time, I only wrote down my thoughts on paper, and now I will write a little bit in Matters. Of course, I will still divide the content. I am very clear about those that will be written publicly and those that will not.
2. The innocence is not there, and I can see clearly a lot of things. After the heart has been hurt many times, kindness can remain but there must be a bottom line. If I'm provoked, I'll turn into a demon. Will it still be very enthusiastic? Can't do it. Seeing that I did a lot of different things back then, those parts of me had the feeling that I died in the frustration of the years. I miss it very much, maybe I can do it again after I think about it one day.
3. Netizens have come and gone, but some of them have known each other for ten years without knowing it, and they are still chatting all the time. I am so grateful that they have supported me, and those who have left are grateful for your presence. Real friends also began to slowly remove the rubbish and save the essence, leaving time for the most worthy people. After all, I have to go to work, and I have no time for fraternity.
4. The concept of love, my whole world view is really turned upside down. There will be heartbeats and so on, and the chance of liking a person is a lot less. In love? Probably not.
5. The world is a mirror that reflects your own heart. I'm probably getting darker and darker, so the world I see is getting worse and worse. Looking back at my thoughts back then, even my thoughts on the Internet to the world and blogs are getting darker and darker. I have always used my name, and in reality, everyone will call me that, because only in this way can I truly face myself. Maybe I have opened accounts in many places and recorded the time of that small clip. I always do this, just use my real name (except in game dating)