一封英文的告白书。

（收录于2020.3.8）

I lied to you yesterday.. And I’m sorry for that! I lied about the first time I imagined you and I together..

It was the second day I saw you. Remember the morning we had eye contact for a moment and you turned away and walked to the kayak..? I spend the day on the beach and couldn’t stop thinking about you. There was something in your look that made me curriuos and a short moment I thought about how it would feel to be be with you. I sounds like a desperate woman, I know, but I couldn’t help it..

You believe in destiny right..? Normally I dont, but that night, when we sat outside and talked, I felt that someone had brought us together.. At that moment, that night, I didn’t think about you and I together, only thought about a future friendship and how lucky I was to meet this kind of guy. A passionate opportunist, friendly and kind, currious about other people and just a lovable person. Despite all the bad things, that life has given you so far, you still believe in a bright future and was facinated by that! I’ve told you many times that I think you are an interesting person and I mean it!

Our travels together has given me so much joy! Your company has made me feel safe and I have enjoyed spending the time with you. I’ve had a lot of friendships, but this one is different. I always feel that I have to give too much of my self to feel appreciated, but not with you. You gave a lot of your self and I often thought that you felt bored with me, but kept telling myself that you still liked my company, otherwise you wouldn’t have spend so much time with me.. you could have had the chance to meet a lot of other foreigners, that I know you like, and I hope that my company wasn’t keeping you from that. On the other hand, because of you and your personality, I’ve met so many kind people. Your presence and your open mind is attractive to other people and you Can easily tell that they like you and enjoy your company as much as I do. Promise me to stay the same way and you will always be sourounded by appreciation, no matter where you go.

Your stories about your life has given me a lot to think about. My life hasn’t been perfect and I have often felt that I deserved better. But now.. I’m not so sure anymore.. I’ve been lucky and I havent appreciated it as I should. I have a loving family, good job and I live in a country where everything comes easy. If I want more, I have to make an effort and I have to fight for the things I believe I deserve. I’ll probably forget it all when I come back info the same rythm as I used to, but I believe that thinking of you will give me strength and courrage to dream for more than just the average. I’m not thinking about money and prestige, but instead adventure and love, keeping in note, that the good life is when you reach the border of your comfort zone.

About you and me.. The day in the hammock on the secrect beach in Coron, I almost revealed my feelings to you. But then you told me about your wife and I kept my feelings in a secret place. I was sad and I felt stupid. Stupid to think that you could find me attractive or maybe feel the same. So I just tried to keep positive and return the friendship, but I kept hoping for more..

So last night.. I’m glad you had the beers, otherwise I’m not sure that you would have told me. I hope you not regret and I hope it’s not gonna change anything between us. For me it won’t! You are still my favourite travel mate and as I said before.. Travelling with you has given me so much and I couldn’t imagine anything better..

I hope that Boracay will treat me well, but I’m pretty sure, that Malapascua would have been better. I hope you go, I really do!! Two weeks in a tent, trying out the Wild life will do you good and hopefully give you the time to make the right decisions. I’ll say it again: If I had one wish, I would spend it on you and your future.. You deserve all the best!

If we ever meet again..? I’m not sure, but I’ll keep dreaming about it..