old me, present me, new me
Daily writing prompt
What are you most worried about for the future?
I don’t know that I worry unless triggered to high hell by arbitrary happenings that remind me of when I’ve felt powerless–something something this march into my late 20s has been an exercise in learning how to be with my emotions.
I imagine Old Me worries about everything–how am I going to stop caffeinating myself when I need caffeine to work when I need to work to survive when I need x, y, and z material comforts to lead a life that allows me to have a roof over my head away from people who I haven’t yet had the courage to acknowledge to myself don’t have my best interests at heart but I’m terrified of being alone because you don’t grow up not having had your own bedroom until you were 22 learning how to be alone…
…”Problemista,” a film starring Julio Torres and Tilda Swinton, captures the feelings felt by Old Me in a semi-stress-inducing masterpiece that also captures the collective shadow of thoughts thought by most who struggle to live beyond the confines of their minds.
Present Me worries about where I’ll be by the end of the year. I don’t know that my nervous system can fully handle the idea of juggling so many different unknowns at the same time–new careers, new friends, dating, learning new skills–but now that I know that the solution to much of the anxiety associated with the above involves some form of “feel your emotions and let the clarity bubble to the surface”…everything feels easier.
New Me worries about nothing. Emotions likely bubble to the surface and I feel them when they demand to be felt. New Me does everything her heart desires and maintains a spiritual universe so vast that all the dreams that Childhood Me had been taught to ignore come to be.
Sometimes I’m Old Me, sometimes I’m Future Me, sometimes I’m Present Me anyway I love all of the Mes.