民主與極權角力是否偽命題

不時在網上會看到像「中共還未能擱到美國」這種說法，它們之間的實力（主要指軍事）差距是否那麼實在，我不知道，但似乎這是大部份人的看法。

這似乎是大部份人對它們的實力的看法，也似乎是大部份人對他們的關係的看法。也許的確是那樣，它們的確實有著競爭關係，但同時我們也知道它們有著合作關係，這並非甚麼秘密。他們既是合作，也是競爭，但我們似乎很理所當然地認為他們的合作關係只是在經濟、全球問題等事情上的妥協。為甚麼我們會有這樣的想法或者印象呢？

因為事實就是如此啊，不是嗎？從我所知不多的歴史來看，近代歴史好像的確是有著極權與非極權之間的競爭、戰爭等互相制衡。而且可說是幸運地，非極權至今仍有著實力上的優勢。

但讓我憂心的是，極權有著本質上的優勢。

有本質上的優勢卻導致實力上的劣勢？甚麼鬼啊？這是政治宣傳嗎？極權國家普遍落後於非極權國家，哪來的優勢？

嗯，極權不得人心，也許永遠都不會在實力上超越非極權。

如果是以生產力、進步速度等來看的話。

老掉牙的一句話，權力令人腐化，絕對的權力令人絕對腐化。腐化這個中文用得好，腐化會蔓延、擴散，極權的優勢在於它的感染力。

而它最能感染的是甚麼人？有權力的人和崇拜或渴望權力的人。以日常用語來說就是它腐化每一個人，越接近權力越受影響。而有權力的人被感染了後，又成為另一個極權，繼續擴散下去。

這是不是把人類看得太低劣了？沒有。啊，抱歉，心直口快。我是說，也許人性有光輝的一面，而它同樣有著強大的感染力。從歴史看來似乎極權也一個個的倒下了，其中一個原因就是不願意接受極權的人聯合起來把極權推翻。

現在的問題是，歴史必然會這樣繼續下去嗎？

一句經常被提到的說話是「歴史總是重覆自己」，我們試圖以之控訴歴史上發生過的暴行又再次出現；我們以之警醒極權又再掌握力量，威脅世界。

但我們似乎甚少提及，如果歴史不重覆的話，會不會是另一種形式的悲劇？

當我們說不要讓歴史重覆的時候，我們往往是在說希望非極權能在極權造成（更大的）慘劇之前制止極權。是甚麼讓我們那麼理所當然地把這視為歴史不重覆的情形？

如果接下來是，再沒有所謂的極權和非極權的互相制衡呢？

以商業市場來說，當類似的公司（國家）一個個的冒起時，他們很多時都會互相競爭沒錯。但有時（隨著時間）也會有合作控制市場或整個行業的情況。如果這情形出現在國家或政權之間呢？

不同制度的國家就像不同的商品或服務可供選擇。但在市場被一個集合控制了的情況下，其實真的算是有選擇嗎？順帶一提，全球民主整體性倒退似乎是現在的趨勢。所以我們整體上是朝著甚麼邁進？

在顯得有選擇可言的同時亦顯得有競爭和制衡存在的情形，除了釋除市場被壟斷的疑慮外亦提供了一種可以「選邊站」以表達立場的感受。像支持不同的球隊那樣，雖然理性上我們大概都不希望有戰爭，但以烏克蘭和俄羅斯的情況為例，並不是說沒有理性的原因導致我們支持某一方，但撇除那些原因後，我們似乎還是相當熱衷於選邊站。返回球隊的類比，其實那隊球隊勝或負或怎麼樣了，（不考慮賭博）其實跟我們似乎沒甚麼關係，但我們還是會堅定地支持自己選擇的球隊，甚至可以去到狂熱的程度。這除了可以作為一個表達立場以顯示自己是個有立場的人和宣洩情緒的渠道，球隊本身的缺點也在支持者心理下被忽略。一來是不希望自己支持的球隊被比下去，二來是多了比較的機會，可以尋找自己的選擇其實不是那麼差的理據。再計算一點支持者還有喜歡無條件付出的傾向。

在商業上企業間或明或暗的共息，一起瓜分市場的情況存不存在呢？如果存在的話是不是有甚麼讓我們相信這情況不會發生在國家政權間？

反過來看，依歴史來看這種說法似乎並未有明顯地大規模地發生，我們有理由要比過去擔心將來或現在會有這種情況嗎？

有，而原因很遺憾是因為我們進步了，但只限於科技。隨著科技進步，通訊和交通讓距離和範圍的意義産生了巨大的改變。數碼技術，尤其監察工具亦讓人類社會管理「數碼化」、「工業化」。全球性的管治只會越來越可行，可以控制的越來越廣泛。把全世界作為一個市場般管治或經營繼而壟斷 無論 —— —— 是單獨或瓜分 似乎並不是甚麼不可思議的事。

說是「陰謀論」也好，杞人憂天也好，神經病也好，最重要需要被考慮的是：

這可能性存不存在？對我們有甚麼影響？我們有甚麼對策？

當它還未發生好了，也當它發生的機會微乎其微好了，只要有機會發生，我們還是應該要想好對策，不是嗎？

我的英文日記，這次的幾篇比較傾向於民間史料。但比較希望是現在有參考價值，而非作日後考古之用。

就如上文一樣，我是一個怎樣的人並不重要，重要的是內容有沒有對你們來說值得考慮的東西。作為一個無權力者，我很難得到實據去咬定甚麼。

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Asylum Daily

Unlike the others entries. This one is more like a reminder. There are a lot of details that's hard to explain.

8 Oct, 2022

Three days ago, I went out and bought an electric kettle and a bottle. Apparently the electric kettle is not allowed into the Foreigners Registration Centre while knives almost as big as cleavers are allowed. Also, a guard said that there should be an electric kettle in the kitchen on each floor. I checked again several times after, nope, there isn't one. The guards said the kettle will stay with the social workers. I am not sure if there are differences between the terms social workers and volunteers here. I will just use social workers like they do.

I rarely go out because I have very little money which I planned, before I know that what happened in my homeland would repeat here, to save for the expense when I have work permit. I went out with just a shirt, I was asked if I didn't feel cold. I replied that I don't have many clothes and want to save my coat for colder days.

6 Oct, I asked to take the kettle back for refund. I was asked if I didn't feel cold again, and I gave the same response again. The social workers came with the kettle and offered to give me clothes. Quite a change, I thought and thankfully accepted.

A photo of my ID for the Center was taken in the process. I am not saying put of privacy concern, if you have read my previous writings, you would know that my privacy is long gone. I am just saying because I have no idea about the process. It's the first time in 5 months I received clothes. 2 or 3 months ago, I was offered like 2 underwears and a T-shirt, which I didn't accept because of the distrust of that social worker. After these months, now I know that it was not a problem of that particular social worker.

The shop keeper said that the owner was out for a meeting and told me to return the next day when the owner would be there.

7 Oct, I went to the shop again, the shop keeper said that she asked and was allowed to give me a refund. It was not surprising that she was alone, and actually although it was sad, at least it was not thrill that was on her face. Am I again imagining someone has a heart?

Later in the day, I asked about the rumor of food allowance, and I realize nothing has changed. I am slow and naive to have thought otherwise. Nothing changed since I came to believe I am still under the grasp of the CCP or equivalent. Nothing changed since months before I left my homeland.

I am sorry that I don't quite know how to discribe it yet.

11 Oct, 2022

I was told to collect the allowance. I asked to take a photo of the list I have to sign, The female officer (or a female in officer uniform) said it was not a game, I replied that's exactly why I wanted to take a photo. I began trying to take photos of what I have to sign after maybe 2 or 3 months of surveillance and harassment. By the way, I surely is not the one who think that it is a game. I am the one being toyed with. The female officer said that there was information of other people and I replied I will cover the information of the others. She kept making it difficult by taking the list or arbitrarily moving the papers I used to cover the information of the others, yet blamed me for being the one who wasted "precious time" at the end.

The photo was not well taken, my name and the amount (14.7 euros) were not in it, but she took the list already and wouldn't let me do it again. Proved me right for wanting to take the photo before signing. She also said that the name of someone around the title of the list is not responsible for the matter and required to have it covered. During hindering me from taking the photo. She made some accusations.

1. Accused me of being aggressive and causing trouble.

I replied I wasn't aggressive (which is actually just defensive) before all the troubles came my way. Also pointed out she was the one making it difficult.

She continued her accusation and said that there will be trouble for me every where. I do not doubt their reach is far and wide.

2. Blamed me for not knowing the law of Lithuania before I came.

I asked what law she was talking about.

She said every law.

I asked if she knows every law of the country.

She said she does and she is a lawyer. (I doubt if there is any lawyer who knows every single law of a country.)

I asked her to tell me which law is about the allowance. She told me to google it.

3. During the accusation, she also said something like "you are so clever". Kind of like attributing it to the reasons why I am in trouble. I don't know what she referred to. It probably works this way though:

If you are trusting, they think that you are dumb and deserve all their harassments and discrimination.

If you are defensive, they blame you for being aggressive and say that you deserve all their harassments and discrimination. Either way they are right harassing and you have to be happy with that.

Talk about aggressive, remember that I mentioned in a daily entry that I was often asked to fight for my rights and write applications even when I didn't ask for anything?

Sometimes it doesn't matter if you know the exact truth or not. If things keep going the same way as they would if an assumption is true, then it doesn't really matter if the assumption is actually false. Two variables with the same value is really not much different from one variable.

As I left the room, the male officer said "Šuo!" The Lithuanian word "Dog".

When I was told my asylum application was accepted (just accepted, not granted) I was grateful and finally felt kind of relieved although I still worried the influence of the CCP. I planned and tried to give the best of me. But what happened as you can learn part of it from my writings was that I was met with hostility, surveillance and privacy violation, harassment, discrimination, lies and insults. The harassments was not limited within the Centres, hm, I see that my feeling changed. I used to think that the CCP has influence outside and the Pabrade Centre was the safe haven. Anyway, I tried to take the first step to show friendship but it was used to further the aggression. I repeated times and again until I finally gave up and just try to avoid all unnecessary contacts. Actually I gave up but tried yet again when I was moved to the Kybratai Foreigners Registration Centre. Things just repeated. I tried almost another month before I finally totally gave up again.

Read from my previous writings and you can see I mentioned that even children were used as tools. Pretty sure the children had no way to know what I did when was alone in a room with all windows and the door closed. So someone(s) told them and instructed them to act certain ways to me. I told the children to remember what happened and think about it when they grow up. I can only hope that they will remember. Hopefully it will help them build a sense about right and wrong.

10 Oct, 2022

Yes, it is the day before.

The same female officer came and asked me to go to the "class" on the ground floor. She seems to be good with English, chance is that she used "class" instead of "classroom" intentionally because I am enthusiastic about learning and I was enthusiastic about the Lithuanian language class.

There could also be a reason why I was asked to go there instead of talked where we were, but I will leave it for now.

It was about my enquiry about an option of taking food allowance the week before.

I was asked about what I wanted. I asked to be told about my rights and the allowances again. "According to the law, asylum seekers will be paid an allowance. The maximum amount is 14.7 euros." or something similar was repeated a few times in the conversation, I will mention just once here.

I asked why I didn't get the allowance earlier. I was told that my asylum status was established just last month. I asked so what I was before that. The female officer said I meant my status. Didn't want to raise the tension, I went along with that, but I regretted when she smugly said her job was done and she was going home when I wanted to continue the conversation after I waited for her to finish with all the other people who came in during our conversation. Minus the smugness, similar things happened on various occasions by various people. No, I didn't mean my status, I meant literally "what I was?". I think you won't be too surprised if I say that I don't feel very human with all the surveillance, harassments and whatnot.

So, what I gathered from the conversation? Not much really. It felt more like I was the one providing information. Aside from she saying that she saw on the computer system my asylum status began just last month which I cannot verify, pretty much everything else she said about my case was not true. She asked for the precise date I came to Lithuania, apparently it was not on the computer system. The date happened to be irrelevant and was not talked about after she wrote it down on a paper. She said I was caught when I crossed the border which I corrected with I went to the Migration Department myself. She said that I had no identification document. I said I had my passport. She followed with my passport stays with (taken by) the Migration Department and that I asked for asylum but the process takes time so my asylum status was confirmed just last month. I told her I was told I was an asylum seeker since April.