Zoe:等我回到香港，我不知道那还会不会是我熟悉的家

2019 年 8 月 22 日

8月初，我在洛杉矶一个艺术社区认识了Zoe。三周前，她刚从香港来到洛杉矶，开始了为期一个月的特效化妆课程。在Zoe来到洛杉矶前，她参与了香港的游行。她在我面前我回忆了当时的情景。

In early August, I met Zoe at an art community in Los Angeles. Three weeks ago, she left Hong Kong for a special effects makeup course in LA. Before coming to LA, Zoe participated in the legal protest in Hong Kong. She told me about her experience.

叙述：Zoe

摄影 & 编辑：Nox

一开始那场游行发生的时候，我是急救站的成员之一。当时的情景太可怕了。

警察不停地拿走我们的供给，我的一些朋友们去了前线。

警察把我们围起来，往人群中间扔催泪弹，但是人们没有地方可以躲，就试图挤进旁边的大楼，但那里装有防弹玻璃，于是他们就开始不停地砸玻璃。我的一些朋友们就在那里，他们一直给我们打电话，给我们即时更新现场情况，我们同时也在关注新闻里的动静。但他们没有地方可以去。

我们知道他们完全被包围起来了。

I was in the first-aid team in the protest. It was terrible.

Police kept taking our supplies. Some of my friends went to the frontline.

On the first day, the police were surrounding us, and they were throwing tear gas in the middle of the crowd. But people had nowhere to go. They crowded into the building but there's bullet-proof glass. So they kept smashing on the glass. My friends were there. They didn’t know where to go. They kept calling us, and at the same time, we were following on the news. But they had no where to go.

We know they were totally surrounded.

之后他们想法跑回到急救站，我们给他们递水。他们互相拥抱，一边大哭，一边说“我的天，我真的以为我要死在那里了。” 很多人找我们要哮喘药，但我们已经没有存货了。只剩最后一个我们得自己用。

因为那些被投放在人群中的有毒气体，他们皮肤上也开始出现红疹。

那是第一天，7月12号，我记得。

They ran back to first-aid station, and we were handing them water. They were hugging and crying, saying "OMG, I thought I was gonna die." A lot of people asked for asthma inhalers, but we didn’t have any stock of it. There's only one and we had to use it.

They also had rashes because of the gas.

It was the first day, 12th of July, I think.

以前的那些抗议游行里，警察都不是这样的。上次他们只用了一些催泪烟，我印象里是18个。但这次他们成千成千地用。

往常香港的抗议游行都很和平，群众就只是举着牌子在路上走，警察会来维持秩序，但不会攻击群众。游行结束我们就回家去了。

以前警察是不会用胡椒喷雾的，但现在他们用橡胶子弹朝人脸上射。我觉得这些警察应该都是受大陆政府控制的。

In the past, the police were not like this. Last time they only used a couple of the tear gas, like 18 or something. But now they are using thousands and thousands.

Usually the protests in Hong Kong were peaceful. People just walk. Police would come, but they would not attack the people. And afterwards we would just go home.

They didn’t use pepper spray in the past, but now they are shooting rubber bullets at people’s faces. I think all the police are controlled by the Chinese government.

局势越来越紧张。你也知道，香港人对大陆人有很多意见。

很多大陆人被误导，以为我们香港人讨厌大陆人是因为我们有优越感。

但其实，我的祖父母就是从大陆来的。在过去，大陆来港的人会尊重我们的价值观。我们不贪污腐败，我们不盲从政府，我们原来是有一定程度自由的。我的意思是，我们以前是个殖民地，所以并不是完全自由，但相对来讲，我们至少是有一定程度自由的。

现在从大陆来的人会把他们的价值观强加在我们香港人上，我们讨厌的是这个，这也是为什么我们对大陆有很多愤怒。

A lot of pressure has been building up. You know, people in Hong Kong have a lot of problems with mainland China.

Most people in mainland have been misled and think we hate them because we think we are above them.

In fact, my grandparents are from mainland China. In the old days, people from the mainland came to HK, they appreciated our value. We don’t do corruption, we don’t do bribing, we don’t just follow our government. We used to have some kind of freedom. I mean, we were a colony, so we were not totally free, but we had at least some kind of freedom, comparatively speaking.

Now people from mainland China come over here, pushing their values on us. That’s what we hate, that’s why we have the anger to China.