‘You Are a Rarity Among All Chinese Women,’ People Always Said

I’m in my 40's , I have no children and I don't want to have any. I say this as a single child and a single woman.

我今年40多岁，还没有孩子，而且一个孩子都不想要。我是以一个独生子女和独身女性的身份这么说的。

I never lament the absence of the younger sibling I could have had, at least one, if my father was not a chain-smoker and my mother had not experienced miscarriage again and again . But they blame this on me, "because the fortuneteller said your fortune was too strong ," my mother told me, "you are the curse to all of your potential brothers and sisters."

我从不为缺少兄弟姐妹而哀伤。如果我父亲不是个老烟鬼，如果我母亲没有一次次地经历自然流产，我本来应该有至少一个弟弟或妹妹。但他们把缺少兄弟姐妹归罪于我，“因为算命先生说你的命太硬了，”我妈告诉我，“你克兄弟姐妹。”

"Including my potential older brother(s) or sister(s)?" I asked her, "but how could I become the curse of them when I was not born yet?"

My mother smiled and refused to answer my question.

“我也克哥哥或姐姐吗？”我问她，“可是你怀上他们的时候，我都还没出生，怎么去克他们呢？”

母亲笑而不语。

I never had the time to feel lonely growing up because I must spend almost all of my waking hours studying very hard, so that I could leave the village where I was born, and where people cursed me with the most malicous bad language you could imagine, simply because I have no sibling(s).

我在成长过程中根本没时间感到孤独，为了离开我出生的村子，离开那些仅仅因为我没有兄弟姐妹就对我横加谩骂的村民，我必须把睡眠之外的几乎所有时间都用在努力学习上。

After the Chinese government announced that married couples could now have up to 2 and then 3 children, I never asked my parents, both born not well before the One-Child policy and with lots of siblings themselves, if they had wanted more children. Because I always knew the answer. My mother would not say any nonsense like“Yes...you would still have a companion.” I knew she wanted a son so that people would not look down upon her and then she could look down upon other women with no son.

在中国政府先后宣布已婚夫妇最多可以生育两个和三个孩子之后，我根本用不着问父母是否想要更多孩子——他们都出生于前计生时代的贫困家庭，自己也有一大堆兄弟姐妹。因为我早已知道了答案。我妈才不会说“想啊。万一我们死了……你还能有个伴儿”之类的屁话。我知道她一直都想要个儿子，这样别人就不会看不起她，而她呢，还可以反过来看不起其他没有儿子的女人。

I have only one wish for my potential child: Never ever to be born in this shithole country and this shithole world, where people used to kill their own new-born daughters by drowning them in shithole, and then, after the B-scan ultrasonography became popular and was mis-used to scan the sex of fetuses, kill them when they were still fetuses——such things happened both in China and other Asian countries with no One-Child Policy, such as India and South Korea. Because for most people of these countries, daughters were and are nothing but the by-products from the process of producing sons.

我对我不可能存在的孩子只有一个希望：永远别出生在这个粪坑国家和粪坑世界。这里的人们过去将自己刚刚出生的女儿扔进粪坑里淹死，后来又在B超技术普及后将仍是胎儿的她们杀死——这样的事情不管在实行独生子女政策的中国，还是未实行独生子女政策的一些亚洲国家，例如印度和韩国，都有发生。因为不管是过去还是现在，这些国家都有人把女儿当作一种副产品，他们求子过程中的副产品。

When I told my parents and friends, most of them had mariage and child(ren), that my goal was to have no mariage and no child, they all got dumbfounded: “You are a rarity among all Chinese women.”

当我告诉父母和朋友——他们大多数都已结婚生子——我将不婚也不育，他们惊呆了：“你在所有中国女人里都是个异数。”

I know that I think differently mainly because I was born in the countryside and I have seen and heard so many tragedies caused by sexual prejudices against girls and women; and then I gradually won my economic independence after I had studied hard for nearly 20 years and got my BA when the streets of China were still not full of Masters and Doctors yet.

我知道，我的想法不同，主要原因是我出生在农村，曾经目睹和听闻了那么多因男尊女卑而造成的悲剧；而且我通过近20年的寒窗苦读，在硕士博士尚未满街走的时代，获得了自己BA文凭，并逐渐赢得经济独立。

If I want to bypass the patriarchy shit that a woman must get married and give birth to children to become the so-called "full woman", I could just do what I want and pay no attention to what other people say about me.

如果我想绕过"女人必须结婚生子才会变得完整”的狗屁父权制规则，我可以按照自己的想法去做，至于别人对我有什么看法，我才不在乎他七姑八婆王八大爷的呢。

Most women here are in another boat:

Those who could not get better education have to obey the rules made for women by this God-damned-patriarchy-shithole-country-full-of-misognists, and become the reproduction tools under the Confucian values that without offspring is the most unfilial things, that you would become happier with more sons.

这里的大多数女性都上了父权制的贼船：

那些无法获得良好教育的，不得不遵守这个该死的、充满厌女症患者的父权制粪坑国家为女人制定的规则，在“不孝有三无后为大”和多子多福的儒家价值观下，成为一种繁殖工具。

And others who could get better education but have been brain-washed by the Christian values based on "be fruitful, and multiply", they willingly accepted the bullshit that child-born, the most painful and dangerous task women bear, was actually a "right"! And then they willingly and proudly become the reproduction tools of another God-damned-patriarchy-shithole-country-full-of-misognists.

而那些能够获得良好教育的，在被“你要生养众多”的基督教价值观洗脑后，则心甘情愿地接受了，把生育这种对女性来说痛苦而又危险的任务，视为“权利”的狗屁说辞，然后在另一个该死的、充满厌女症患者的父权制粪坑国家，心甘情愿又洋洋自得地充当繁殖工具。

For those elitist women who proudly show off their forein husbands, the shit produced by Confusians is a shit, but the similar shit produced by Christians would become delicious nourishment. Just like the dogs, they would never change their love for shit.

对于那些炫耀自己嫁了洋鬼子的精英女人，儒家制造的狗屎是狗屎，但如果类似的狗屎由基督徒制造，那它就不是狗屎，而是美味可口的营养品了。真是狗改不了吃屎。

Yes, the 3-children policy may remind all of them that they’re 'being spared the former limits and fines on having “extra” children only because China’s population is aging and the government is worried about the economic implications'——just as those anti-family-plan liars said.

没错，三孩政策提醒那些女人，她们之所以被免除了之前的限制和对“超生”的罚款，只是因为中国人口正在老龄化，而且政府担心这对经济的影响——至少那些爱撒谎的反节育派骗子是这么说的。

It has also reminded them that giving birth, or not, is still not their own choice — it has never been, and not since four decades ago when China implemented the Family Plan, but since long long times ago when the patriarchy Confusians treated women as nothing but reproduction slaves, and sex slaves, and household slaves. Of course their bodies are still not their own, because they either eat the patriarchy shit of Confusian edition, or the same patriarchy shit of Christian edtion.

它还提醒她们，生育，或不生育，仍然不是她们自己的选择——从来都不是，不是“40年来一直如此”，而是“自古以来就如此”，自从儒家把女性当作繁殖奴隶、性奴隶、家务奴隶以来，就一直如此。她们的身体当然不属于她们自己，因为她们要么吃儒家版的父权制狗屎，要么吃基督教版的父权制狗屎。

Yes there’s a catch . In the past, Chinese women live to carry on their huabands' lineage; now they either live to raise an expensive child for CCP, or to raise more children to satisfy their foreign hubands and their "be fruitful, and multiply" values. It is the elitist women, who co-worked with those patriarchy Anti-Family-Plan liars, dug the trap for themselves and other Chinese women.

是的，这里有一个陷阱。中国女性过去是为了给夫家传宗接代而活着；而现在，她们活着要么是为了给共匪抚养一个成本昂贵的孩子，要么是为了满足她们那些洋鬼子丈夫及其“生养众多”的价值观。是这些精英女性与父权制下的反节育派骗子一起，亲手为她们自己也为其他中国女人挖出了这个陷阱

Different from all of them, I can claim more freedom as a single woman, because I would not marry myself to any patriarchy ashholes, foreigners or not. This is how and why I could control my body.

跟所有那些女性相比，身为独身女性的我能够拥有更多自由，因为我才不会把自己嫁给那些支持父权制的王八蛋呢，不管他们是不是洋鬼子。这就是我能够掌控自己身体的原因和方式。