Illness Notes | How many hours did I lose today?

Chin
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(edited)
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IPFS
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This feeling is that several people are doing an important thing for your body and life, and you are not involved. If you are lucky, the next time you will have the right to say goodbye.

This article was written ten hours after the operation. I was lying in bed trying to fall asleep but was still awake. I just finished reading a book off and on, so I lay down and typed this article. It was still just a very loose note. My first experience with general anesthesia - ten hours in a hangover, but already feeling pain where the knife was operated, and taking painkillers three times, currently waiting for bedtime.

It may seem like I'm making a fuss. For hospitals and doctors, death and illness are normal things that happen every day, but for every patient or their family, it's a novelty, so I'm still very grateful to the nurses Our kind service to me.

I've been slumped and can't sleep. Yesterday, I was groggy all day due to fasting for a long time. I had an electrocardiogram in the afternoon and thought I would be able to fall asleep after I finished my meal, but I still have insomnia... Put the reader by the bed and watch it a little when I wake up. It is luck to be able to fall asleep, probably like the experience of taking a long-distance plane, enduring the unspeakable smell and sound, and hoping that I can fall asleep.

"When you wake up, it's a new journey!" I kept telling myself this sentence in my heart last night hoping that I would fall asleep quickly. I don't have to wait too long to have surgery in the morning, and I don't have to worry too much, but I seem to Not suitable for hospital beds, tossing and turning.

I'll probably never know the cause of my cancer, but the first time my mom knew I had a tumor, she blamed the perfume and perm I used to wear since middle school, but after I was twenty-five I decided not to. I have dyed my hair, and my mother introduced perfume... But it's useless to talk about it now, should I be serious about being a patient or living a good life?

At this time, I was lying on the hospital bed and couldn't take a shower. The quilt was even pushed into the waiting room by the nurse. There were some people along the way, and the elevator in the hospital bed would transport the dead. I was afraid of the air in the hospital (I was extremely Severe cleanliness addiction); I was lying on my side yesterday, and the smell of alcohol sprayed at any time by the patient in the next bed also made me uncomfortable. I keep telling myself that this inconvenience, this dryness is like flying and how much I used to love traveling.

(I didn't get a single room yesterday, luckily no one fills the room today)

I don't live like me at all these days, wearing a nightgown and flip-flops for a nurse to push a wheelchair around, lying in bed before surgery and being pushed into the operating room. The route before being pushed into the operating room is so vague, I just remember the last clock writing "07:58", I was then put on an inhaler by the anesthesiologist and instructed me to take a few breaths through my mouth before I lost consciousness. Later, I heard that my operation started at 08:40 and ended at nearly 11:00.

Then I waited to gradually wake up, so I seemed to be missing a few hours, didn't feel the pain of the operation, didn't know if the doctor said something during the operation, what music was played or not?

This feeling is that several people are doing an important thing for your body and life, and you are not involved. If you are lucky, the next time you will have the right to say goodbye.

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Chin 反意識形態/爾思出版共同創辦人 寫作的地方:https://travelwithbook.com/ 來信指教:chin@travelwithbook.com
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