Mortal raving-22.7.18-Child's competitive spirit

Holy matters:

There is a mischievous child in the family who has some bizarre ideas in his head every day, and he has reached the age of winning and losing. Although he didn't spend much time with him purely for games, when playing together, he would always be amused by the child's arrogant desire to win.

Two days ago, the child became obsessed with flying chess. When he first bought it, he dragged us to play chess with him every day with great interest. And he can only win, not lose. If you lose, you will be fooled, not happy. During this period, in order to win for myself, I often cheated and regretted chess blatantly. Although I mainly played with him, I would be more involved every time, and I could not cheat for three chapters in advance, and I could not cry if I lost, otherwise I would not play. He promised every time well, but it turned out to be useless.

I found that playing chess with my children is a bit similar to accompany the leaders in the system to engage in competitions and competitive entertainment activities. I know that I want to lose deliberately, but I must lose with skill and level. A repressive victory must be a narrow victory that allows the opponent to experience some twists and turns, so that the opponent can have a sense of accomplishment. When I came, I didn't forget to compliment a few words: still the leadership is superior. The leader smiled happily, everyone knew it, the room was full of happy air, and everyone was happy. Of course, accompanying the children is not as tiring and hypocritical as accompanying the leader, but more of an interesting personal interaction and a joy of crying and laughing.

However, from this small matter, the subconscious vanity of human beings for victory is irrespective of age. It is just that children are not so deep. It is just a sign of normal physical and mental development at this age. . When dealing with children's competitive spirit, don't be too attached to it, otherwise it will encourage children's eagerness to win and lead to blind self-confidence, which is not good for the development of children's character. And a large part of the key to this problem, I think, still lies in the mentality of the parents, that is, how the parents view winning and losing, but it is more important. Because parents must first have an awareness that they must accept that their children may be just ordinary people with mediocre achievements in the future. In this way, parents can correctly treat winning and losing, and they will also actively pass it on to their children, so that children can learn to tolerate failure and lose, and then focus on the process of games, competitions, and interactions, and learn to experience the process. Have fun, not just focus on results. After all, sometimes, whether a person can succeed or not depends on luck.

Then you might as well open your mind a little bit more, and in the process of playing with your child, you will lose the game with your child, and whoever loses will win. In this way, when playing some games with a large proportion of luck, the children will understand from the opposite direction that some things actually have luck elements, and the desired results can be achieved without hard work, including hard work to lose, Maybe not necessarily able to fulfill his wish, want to lose but ultimately won.

But speaking of it, if you want to face winning and losing with a real sense of calm, it is really not easy to have at the beginning. After all, people always rely on some enterprising drive to drive themselves to achieve their goals, so how to balance Buddhism and the desire to win is indeed a science. I think it's better to do things with the attitude of "do your best to obey the destiny", take things to yourself, and take the achievements to God, maybe, it will not be so painful and tangled.

Matt City lives forever!