Matsuura Yataro's Adult Studies: "Basic" Practices that Break Through the Self-Framework

In the past, when I was a child, I always thought that after I had the ability to make money in the society, I naturally became an "adult". Because I have independent economic ability, my words are stronger and more powerful. After all, money enhances people's self-confidence, but it is also very easy. Dissatisfied with many things and want to point fingers, always defend their own ideas and values to the death. But after people have some experiences and encounters, they will gradually change the definition of "adult", and Yataro Matsuura, the author of this book, shared his adult learning with readers at the age of 50.

Let me briefly introduce the author's background. Yataro Matsuura was born in 1965. When he was 18 years old, he went to the United States alone. He brought back many local books and magazines and returned to Japan. , and later served as the editor-in-chief of "Life Notes" for nine years, and later joined an online innovation company. As a writer, editor, and company operator, he has learned a lot about the basics of life. From his personal IG It can also be observed that he is a middle-aged male uncle with great taste in life.

Adults should learn to appreciate others

Have we observed friends around us who are habitually wary of anything? The author said that when he was young, he also saw a lot of things that were not pleasing to the eye, and obviously could not know exactly what he liked, but he was able to assert himself on many things that he hated, always criticizing others for not being good enough or being too hypocritical, so he was full of negative emotions all day. . In fact, a truly mature adult should have the ability to discover the advantages of others , and try to discover new values from another perspective . Sometimes a seemingly ordinary thing can find its unique beauty after careful observation. This kind of discovery can also bring great surprise and emotion to oneself and others, instead of focusing on one's dissatisfaction and becoming depressed.

Adults have to jump out of the stratosphere

As we grow older, we will find that there are fewer and fewer friends, and the friends we carefully select will be close to our own values. However, the author believes that such a life is too narrow, and we can’t just have friends who will praise us. I think this point of view is to encourage everyone to broaden their horizons and not limit their horizons too much to their own. Around, sometimes when you step out of the stratosphere, you will find your own insignificance and feel ashamed. In the past, how self-esteem was high without knowing it?

Adults have more and more "do not do"

Maybe everyone also feels the gradual decline of physical strength and memory, and naturally the time to concentrate is also reduced, so we must have enough judgment to choose what to do or not do. I think the best way is to establish a regular life , When we follow the schedule every day, we will not feel that time is wasted. Even if there is a temporary situation, it is only a special case. Usually, maintaining the established life process for most of the time can help us prioritize important things. Like Haruki Murakami, people who go to bed early and go to bed early will get up early to run a marathon, handle productive work in the morning, and hold meetings, collect and share information in the afternoon, and end their work before 6:30 p.m. and go to bed on time at 10 p.m. , and because I usually give myself sufficient respite time, I did not deliberately take vacations on weekends. I think this kind of living arrangement is very appropriate. Recalling that I used to work overtime from Monday to Friday until late at work. Instead, the weekend became a puddle of mud. It felt like a week had passed without doing anything, and day after day, I felt more and more unable to feel the meaning of life.

Adults should be more humorous and less showy

In the book, the author constantly emphasizes that people need a sense of humor when they are middle-aged, and people will lose their charm if they remain serious at a certain age , so being a person who can make people laugh is very insignificant in the eyes of the author.

However, the vulgar words that are popular among young people should not be used as much as possible after they become adults, because it will give people a negative impression. Such phenomena can also be observed in our daily life, of course not for young people. Indecent words are excused, but when these words are spit out from a large mouth, it really makes people feel bad, so avoid it if you can.

How should the text of adults be presented?

The author said that "posting" is the communication skill of "adults". Posting must be in line with one's own world view, rather than thinking in terms of current Internet search optimization . This paragraph also reminds me of many articles on the market that teach writers how to make their own A writing formula that is easier to see. As a writer, if you only think about how to successfully fit your article into the formula without emotion, you will lose a little sincerity and warmth, because the author believes that if the article is connected with people's emotions The deeper it is, the more it can help people . The emotional appeal of the text itself should not be underestimated and should not be discarded.

The author specifically mentioned in the book that when an adult who knows a lot of knowledge uses words to respond to others, he should avoid treating people as fools, and every word should not be malicious, because paying attention to the choice of words is a kind of thoughtfulness. , which is also the basis for adults to post.

When I read articles on the Internet, I often observe the phenomenon that in addition to making my own claims, I also take the opportunity to demean others to elevate myself, as if only the author's own ideas are correct, and those who have another idea are The level is relatively low, which is different from simply disapproving of other people's ideas. It is not simply to talk about things, but to directly despise "people" themselves. This way of writing will make readers feel the author's arrogance and narrow-mindedness, but it will blur the author's original intention to express his position.

In this book, the author talks about the appearance of an adult in his heart from several aspects, from which readers can think about what attitude their ideal adult should take, and can also refer to the author's ideas to examine and introspect, there will never be only one "adult" A model, but I think the ideal "adult" should at least give people a positive image . I wonder what the "adult" in your heart looks like?